What would you do with him?

[Slinwagh]

Hollow tube into the anus of the offender, insert barbed wire into tube, remove tube leaving barbed wire in place.

Send him on his way.

On a serious note he would fall down the stairs whilst I was chasing him out.

 

[Jonny69]

Is that the same dog that barks at you when you poo

HAHAHAHAHAHAH I'd forgotten about that

 

[twistedheat]

"It was the dog".

 

[SkeeterUK]

He would regret it thats all i will say.

 

[4T5]

Is that the same dog that barks at you when you poo

Yes.
Although he hasn't for a while now though so perhaps he has grown out of it.
I Muzzle my Frank staffy dog whilst in Public but obviously not in my house.

 

[Col_M]

zip tie their hands and legs together, then call the police, there isn't much else you can do, injure them in any way and you'll probably get in more trouble than the ****** who broke in.

 

[Le_Petit_Lapin]

Stick something pointy in his hand. Then find some way to secure them until the police get there.

"Sorry officer, he tried to stab me".

 

[Jonny69]

What about dump him in the back of the car and take im to a gay S&M freak and re-enact the scene from Pulp Fiction...

"Bring out the gimp"

 

[helmet]

I'd tie him up and then make them a cup of tea, but by sheer accident trip whilst holding the kettle and pour it all over him.

The next day I'd go out and try to find a Charles Bronson mask from Tesco.

 

[4T5]

Or do a Southern Comfort on him,

"Make like a Pig Boy Eeee Eeeee Eeee EEeeee"

 

[KaHn]

I would hate to think.

KaHn

 

[xb8browney]

I would take a pic, phone 999, Tie him up, sit on him with a can of lynx and a lighter

 

[Helium_Junkie]

Pop a cap in his ass, homie.

 

[4T5]

I'd tie him up and then make them a cup of tea, but by sheer accident trip whilst holding the kettle and pour it all over him.

The next day I'd go out and try to find a Charles Bronson mask from Tesco.

If you do that you need to add sugar to the water. Hot water just bounces off but if you add sugar it sticks

 

[twistedheat]

I would hate to think.

KaHn

I hate to think too. Hurts my head.

Seriously though, I would go down the "self-defense" route and bash a baseball/cricket bat round his knees. This way he can't run away, and I don't get done either.

 

[eXor]

I would instruct my butler to release the hounds.

 

[KaHn]

I mean seriously, what would stop you putting a bag over his head then dumping him in the back of your car, dropping him off a pier or digging a ditch somewhere remote.

How is it going to come back on you?

If you're clever and dont leave prints on him etc, it would be very hard for anyone to prove you killed him, especially if you are a normal person with out a criminal record.

KaHn

 

[uk_viper]

the sad fact is that they can sue you for assault, i remember reading once that a robber was entering a house fell through the glass roof and his hand got sliced on a knife, sued the house owner and the robber won the case!

 

[Monkey Puzzle]

Tie him up, call the police, then "defend myself" against him a bit. Oh, and plant a knife on him, so it has his fingerprints on it. It's quite difficult to get arrested for going too far unless you go really over the top isn't it?

 

[WrathOfAchilles]

Call the police. A loaded 12 bore would ensure his co-operation until they arrived.