What's the biggest animal you could fight?

[penski]

No need to dally! What do you think is the largest animal you could 'take' in a one-on-one fight?

My girlfriend says 'Chihuahua'.

I reckon I could take a medium-adult male red deer.

Use it's horns as handles to wrestle it to the ground.

*n

 

[penski]

Also Penski, a deer bigger than Dani Filth?

Dani Filth's only 3'8".

*n

 

[penski]

I once punched a cow full force in the face, it didn't even flinch and I mean nothing.

I'm interested as to what led up to your decision to punch a cow...?

I decked a goose once. It attacked me :/

*n

 

[penski]

It's strange actually, cos I reckon humans could actually take on quite a few animals quite well if it was to the death, like although a dog has sharp teeth and claws, I'm not sure how much serious damage it would do whereas a human has got a fair bit of power so could do a lot of damage, break bones and suchlike. Hmmmm will have a think..

We also have skills.

Like kung-fu skills.

And nunchuck skills.

*n

 

[penski]

A few beers at the county fair and it seemed like a fine plan.

I reckon I could take a baby elephant. I jump on it's back with a sleeper hold and just hang on until it dropped.

Stick a finger in each nostril of it's trunk and clamp it's mouth shut with your arm?

*n

 

[penski]

I'd take on a badger, but I doubt I'd come away without injury. They're bigger than you think. I'd also go for an ostrich, lanky buggers but possibly susceptible to a good sweep.

Badger's are ****ing vicious. Seriously.

If they had opposable thumbs, they'd carry flick knives. They're THAT vicious.

I like the idea of Fighting a deer. I reckon i can take bambi with a few well placed punches.

My thought was that you could use a subadult male's horns to pull it down with your body weight then get it in a submission hold.

Can a deer tap out?

*n

 

[penski]

I don't think it would be fair to use Pro Wrestling techniques in a fight against an animal, like Clotheslining a giraffe, using a Stunner on a yak or Tombstoning a goose for instance, as animals don't watch WWE. You could on a Panda though I guess because they are in charge of the WWF now.

I reckon chokeslamming a medium-to-large dog should be viable.

I'd rather fight a dog than a cat.

*n

 

[penski]

i just thought of some real tough animals, scrapyard dogs!

I remember reading years ago about a scrapyard owner who rehomed a pet Macaw because it was too noisy for it's initial owner (a friend of the scrappy).

He kept it in a large cage inside a barn in the yard.

One night, the yard dog broke in to the barn and the cage...The yard owner discovered a severely injured macaw and a dead dog the next morning.

*n

 

[penski]

That makes no sense at all unless you're on about a big wild cat like a Tiger or Lion. Little cats would be easy to take out. They only do damage to you when you're not trying to hurt them.

In fact, I reckon I could take a liger. They're HUGE and they're placid too.

Of a comparative size, I'd take the dog any time.

*n

 

[penski]

Why do we always need to fight? I would sit down and engage in peaceful dialogue with the animal in question, finding out what fuels their anger and drives their violent struggle against humans and work towards a constructive one-state solution where animal and human can live side by side in peace without conflict.

You sound like a hippy to me. Maybe one of those poofters or commies too.

Just what I was thinking. I'd take on almost any shark in my own garden, I know the layout and potential weapons, my pond is tiny and would give the shark almost no room to maneuver.

Did you ever read Bear v. Shark? Clicky.

*n

 

[penski]

They had the right idea in Ancient Greece:

Although the reliance on spears is probably because they were all fairies...What with all the recreational bumming and paedophilia they got up to...

*n

 

[penski]

Didn't that little Christian Daniel kid stab up a big lion with a rose thorn or something back in Gods day? Either Christians are rock or Lions are pussies.

I think Jesus once ate a bear. Live.

*n

 

[penski]

He fought the Macaw....and the....Macaw won!

6/10

Let down by superfluous use of the word 'the'.

Must try harder.

*n

 

[penski]

Gibbons definitely have the greatest testicular fortitude of all the monkeys.

*n

 

[penski]

Things must be slow in someones world.
I mean look at the question, what's the biggest animal you could fight.
The answer is an elephant, there is no bigger on this planet.
Jesus someone save us from such rubbish.

If you don't like it either report it to the moderators if you feel it is inappropriate for the forum or just click Tru's link above.

If you have a problem with what I post personally, then please do inform the moderators. If you wish to email me directly, then please do - penski at gmail dot com.

Alternatively, get a sense of humour.

*n

 

[penski]

edit: penski your site doesnt work too well in ie6 -the content gets pushed down below the menu.

That's what you get for using non-standards-compliant browsers.

...Or something. :/

I chopped a premade theme about a bit. Works fine here on Phoenix, Opera and Firefox.

*n

 

[penski]

It would be one shell of a fight

GET OUT!

*n

 

[penski]

*n

 

[penski]

A Lion...

As long as i have an elastic band, and the lion is a male, and i have taked a drip from the "luck vial"

lol....
Obscure reference win!

Red Dwarf is hardly obscure.

*n

 

[penski]

Unless the fight was in the USA, where, as you know, every man has the right to bear arms.

Time for me to trot out a classic potatochop of mine...yet again:

*n