What's the worst food mistake you've made?

It was around 1975 and Mummy & Daddy had gone back to Nigeria leaving me home alone.
I'd been living at the Chip Shop and decided one day to make bangers & mash with gravy.
1) The potatoes were boiled and so I mashed them but nobody told me you had to remove the water first.
2) Nobody told me you had to keep stirring the gravy.
3) By the time I remembered the sausages were under the grill I nearly started a fire.
4) I ended up at the Chip Shop.

Around the same time I decided to make my own proper Mummy chips in a proper pan full of lard so I peeled the potatoes, cut them up, boiled the pan of lard and tipped the chips in :eek:
It took an army of Aunties over a week to clean the kitchen :)
 
The only two I can think of was when I made a cheese and ham sandwich at uni, I thought I'd stick some Coleman's mustard on it, I'd always used Dijon before so wasn't aware of the potency of it, I could breath easilly for days :D

The other time was when I helped my brother take some stuff to uni with my dad, I woke up went to the fridge and in my sleepy frame of mind downed a glass of orange juice that had been open for a few days. The trip to Bath went fine offloaded my bro and all his stuff then on the way back my dad had to pull into every toilet as I was pooping soup, it was so bad, I was dizzy, sweating and clenching my butt all the way home while being trapped in a car :( I always write on a carton the date that it was opened now :)
 
I once made an amazing thai curry using beef. The next day I thought I'd make another but using fish. I got some cheap pollack and started cooking, made a huge batch (about 4 tubs for the freezer) and sat down to eat. It was disgusting....something about the fish was wrong.
 
Not mine, but parents making lemon meringue but rather than using sugar using a substitute called 'stevia' (mum was on some change of diet and trying to cut out sugar). They didnt tell me they had changed it and is probably the worst thing I have ever tasted, looked a bit more into 'stevia' apparently its banned in a few countries for unknown reasons!
 
When I was about 12 a new Aldi opened up around the corner, as you would do I went to see what they sold. I came back with a 70 pack of chewing gum for like 70p, because it was so cheap the taste went after about 10 seconds. I ended up downing the whole 70 pack in about 1 hour, considering that Chewing gum is a laxative you can imagine what happened over the next few days. It was pretty bad.
 
chaosdestro0 said:
When I was about 12 a new Aldi opened up around the corner, as you would do I went to see what they sold. I came back with a 70 pack of chewing gum for like 70p, because it was so cheap the taste went after about 10 seconds. I ended up downing the whole 70 pack in about 1 hour, considering that Chewing gum is a laxative you can imagine what happened over the next few days. It was pretty bad.
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OMG, LoL man!!!
 
Bake and rise pizza in the oven without an oven tray = soft pizza dough sagging through the gaps in the shelf down to the bottom of the oven.

Dave
 
^TANK^ said:
Roughly ten years ago I was at the start of my cannabis downward spiral and decide I was to lazy to make a cake/brownie, so I put an ounce of powdered down resin into a saucepan full of pasta bake sauce (DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER DONE).

To begin with I thought this was brilliant until slowly but surely the feeling kept increasing (BAD TIMES). For three days this kept getting more and more intense by the minute lol, every sound or movement was like Godzilla with a megaphone. My recently departed mother took me up the hospital where I was given this charcoal stuff to drink.
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lol. Awesome. Had to eat a load once when a mate i was getting a flight with suddenly realised he was about to go through the security with a fair sized block in his pocket. Interesting flight.
 
Not mine, but one i was involved with.

Was away with work along with the office bull*****er. Sort of bloke who was clueless, but an expert in everything.

Went for Japanese, he was giving it the big "i am" saying how he had Japanese all the time. Literally stuck his spoon in and took a huge pile of wasabi. I warned him that it was a bit hot, and he entirely failed to take it in, because, you know he knew it all.

If you can imagine this bloke desperately trying to look cool when all he wanted to do was hold his nose and go "nnneeeeuuuuggghhhhfuuuuuuuuuuuaaaagghhhh"

lol I'll laugh at him for years to come.
 
I've been there too, told the missus what I did, and she still managed to go home and do the SAME DAMN THING a few hours later.

I despair, I really do.
 
Went to buy chips. Accidentally bought the ones which you have to deep fry. Decided to try it anyway with a saucepan. Poured a lot of oil in a whacked up the heat. Cue it getting too hot and filling the kitchen and living room with thick oily smoke which left a film of oil over everything! :(

Once I also was going to a dinner party and had to take something along. Had some spare pastry and 48 penguins. Obvious thing to do was make a penguin pie! :) No one touched it except someone who mistakenly thought it was a mince beef pie and quickly found out their mistake! :p
 
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