What's the worst food mistake you've made?

Tried to cook beans on toast. Burnt the 2 slices of bread, utterly, completely. Didn't have anymore bread left. Poured beans on top of burnt toast. Realised forgot butter so plopped a big spoonful on top. Tucked in. Female flat mate who very particular about food exited lounge trying not to vomit.


When I was between 5-10yrs I got invited around to my friends for tea. At that age I hated eggs, despite the fact that my father was a farmer who was well known locally for selling eggs. Ate the majority of the meal prepared for us. Tried to explain to friends mother I didn't like eggs. Got told to eat them anyway. I figured the best way to go about it was that I put a whole fried egg in my mouth and just swallow hard. So that's what I did. My body spasmed as I threw this egg back up from the depths of my stomach only to have it land on the plate in eggsactly the same position, completely whole. My friends mother walks back in, exclaims I haven't even made an effort to touch the egg, whilst my friend has just witnessed me spit this thing out as far as he's concerned. To top it off in my confused and traumatised state I can only remember the welsh word for 'being sick' so I can't even explain properly what the hell happened (they were english speaking folk only). I was utterly devastaed by the whole incident at that age, I had made an effort to be good but it all backfired! I think I was banned from there or something shortly afterwards for supposedly being disgusted with the food.
 
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AGD said:
Once I also was going to a dinner party and had to take something along. Had some spare pastry and 48 penguins. Obvious thing to do was make a penguin pie! :) No one touched it except someone who mistakenly thought it was a mince beef pie and quickly found out their mistake! :p
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:D
I'm really hoping you our not a zoo keeper.
 
Once wangled a day off school and was starving by dinner time when I was younger, banged in a random amount of water with ASDA home curry noodles then realized the powder didn't quite work okay being drowned so drained it then looked across the counter and saw tomato sauce and thought "hey! how bad could it be it needs some sort of flavor".

NEVER AGAIN!

Lucky me this year though at Christmas my mum piped up "I made flummery" basically whats left over from a trifle mix just put in together with a ton load of sherry, don't think I've ever felt so ill in my life XD.
 
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Done loads, especially good at burning stews on the stove. But two stand out.


Chinese five spice in chilli really was not good.
Low sugar meringue just turned out as slightly airated egg whites.
 
Enjoyed reading through this thread :)

Only a couple I can think of from my days at uni.

When I first moved into halls at uni, I decided I would attempt to cook for the flat on the 2nd day (as a guy cooked for us all on the first day). I was going to make spag bol or something. While in the process of preparing to cook, a flatmate would come down the corridor to peer through the kitchen door to make sure everything was ok. I put the oil in the pan, whacked up the heat, then continued preparing (not too sure what I was doing really). I hear a WHOOOSH and the pan is on fire. Fortunately I had enough sense to grab the fire blanket and cover the pan to put it out. It took a while to go out and I was very worried the blanket wouldn't stop it. My flatmate checks again to see the kitchen filled with thick smoke and I'm wrestling a fire! At the end of this, I had ruined a new pan of a flatmate, filled the kitchen with smoke, and we ended up ordering take away.

Also in first year of uni, I once had smoked mackeral instead of mince meat in my spag bol, that tasted so bad I had to bin it right away.
 
jimbob27 said:
When I was at college one of my flatmates bought a deep fat fryer.

Deep fried cornish pasty. Deep fried super noodles. Deep fried day-old kebab leftovers.
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My friend's brother got a deep fat fryer at uni and promptly tried deep fried lettuce and deep fried Monster Munch. I have no reports on how these things tasted but I'm guessing lettuce = bad and Monster Munch = no difference whatsoever.
 
A (long) while ago at a friends I volunteered to make a cuppa for everyone (around 5-6 people) and promptly went to the kitchen and found the kettle already full, obv I thought it had been filled up to save time next time someone wanted a drink, and made drinks for everyone.

Shame it was filled up with kettle de scaler.
 
xxalxx said:
A (long) while ago at a friends I volunteered to make a cuppa for everyone (around 5-6 people) and promptly went to the kitchen and found the kettle already full, obv I thought it had been filled up to save time next time someone wanted a drink, and made drinks for everyone.

Shame it was filled up with kettle de scaler.
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You didn't smell it? :eek:
 
i ran out of milk once so i decided i know, tomato sauce will go well with my cheerios!
actually tasted quite nice XD
my brother likes to add sweet chilli sauce to chocolate cake which i think is disgusting.

in terms of cooking its gotta be the time when i tried to cook super noodles in the microwave, i just put them in a bowl with water, ham and a ham stock cube and cooked it for about 10 mins on full power, when i came back into the kitchen the door of the microwave was smashed to pieces on the floor. thats when i realised i left the metal spoon in there :(
 
Not a food mistake, but a drink mistake. I think it was for a dare, or it may have just been pure stupidity. Orange squash, worcester sauce and tabasco..... I vomited......
 
chaosdestro0 said:
When I was about 12 a new Aldi opened up around the corner, as you would do I went to see what they sold. I came back with a 70 pack of chewing gum for like 70p, because it was so cheap the taste went after about 10 seconds. I ended up downing the whole 70 pack in about 1 hour, considering that Chewing gum is a laxative you can imagine what happened over the next few days. It was pretty bad.
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I'm not sure Chewing Gum is a laxative, especially as you don't ingest it. It basically just stimulates saliva, which can also make you hungry.

I can probably beat your story though!
When I was about 16, I went with my Family for a brief few days in Greece where my Dad was on a business trip. While we were there, his clients had offered to take us on a tour of their Chewing Gum factory to see how it's made and try some.

When we were about to leave, they gave us each (5 of us) a huge holdall full of their different chewing gums! I literally had a lifetimes supply! We had so much that we couldn't even carry it all back, we gave a hotel Maid one of the bags!

Anyways, a couple of years down the line on my 18th Birthday and I had everyone over to celebrate. My chewing gum was in this huge jar thing and it was only towards the end of the night that I'd discovered that some people had basically been just trying every single flavor and trying to stick as much of it in their mouths as possible! I only had enough gum left for a few more weeks after that... it was like winning the lottery and then loosing it all! :D




Otherwise, personal cooking fails:

- Was at a New Years Eve party somewhere quite remote. The host cooked some pasta and mince, but it was only a small amount per person as there was hardly any food. The kitchen was dark and I'd been told there was a bowl of grated Parmesan. So in the low light I spot it and pour a huge chunk on my pasta, mix it a bit and then took a bite. *CRUNCH* it was only a bleeding bowl of salt that somebody had left out and now had totally ruined my meal to the point where nothing could make it edible!

- Another mistake I didn't discover until I was 25 was when I tried to boil and egg in the microwave. All I've got to say is EGG GRENADE!
When I took it out it exploded with a huge bang, went all over me and the kitchen!


Another kitchen fail I've got is from Uni with one of my housemates.
We had recently moved into a large place and bought a cheap microwave which had a traditional dial style timer on it. One girl came home at lunchtime, stuck her jacket potato in, set it for ten minutes and then went up three flights of stairs to her room for nearly an hour.

I came home, opened the kitchen door and nothing but black smoke poured out of the room. The Microwave timer had jammed and had been stuck on for over an hour just burning this potato. When the smoke cleared a bit, we could see inside the microwave and just say this glowing orange potato, it looked like one of those stones from Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom!

Luckily Currys replaced it.
But the second I'd set up the new microwave one lunchtime when I got home with it, the same girl popped her potato in the oven and started walking off to go upstairs! "NOOOOO!!!! JUST NO!!!!!!"


Oh and another favorite is from last year.
Was in a hostel that my friend owns in the French Alps.
An Israeli guy was staying and had read one of her Delia Smith cookbooks and decided he would try and make a traditional Chilli-Con-Carne for the first time ever for his friends who were coming over for a few days. So he bought all the ingredients and had it all on the go.

Now a couple of guys I lived with had picked up two killer chilli sauces at the airport for fun. One was called Death Sauce and the other was Pain or something. They were REALLY hot! So the guy was making his chilli and wanted to add a bit of extra heat. In the absence of any Tabasco, he added these hot Chilli Sauces, thinking they were about the same... he used nearly half a bottle of each!

So He had this huge Chilli ready that served about ten people. All his friends were at the table nearly in tears and he looked really angry. So they explained the problem and I asked if I could try some. I took one tiny spoonful of the beef and it was the hottest thing I'd ever taken, gave me instant hiccups! FAIL!
 
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