What's your most embarrasing moment - ever!

I just remembered this one.....actually I think this was the one I used in the last "embarrassing moments" thread...

Bit crude I'm afraid...

I was working in a shop at the time. I'd had really bad gas all day, but had managed to find a quiet corner to let rip in most of the time. Unfortunately I got stuck on the till for quite a while and could feel the next pocket of rancid smelling gas pushing its way through. I was serving an elderly couple and couldn't hold it in any longer. Fortunately, it felt like it was going to be a "silent but deadly" so I tried (using skillful buttock and sphincter control) to sneak it out. Unfortunately, this just turned it into one of the loudest "squeakers" you've ever heard :( All I could manage was to look down at the the floor and kick about at nothing in particular, a puzzled look on my face, as if some mystery object was the source of the noise. Luckily, I don't think the old beggars even heard it....they certainly didn't say anything or give me any disgusted looks!
 
I just remembered another one.

I have a good mate whos family I get on with really well. I've been on holiday with them to their house in Portugal and the other day my mate's dad took me (without his son) to see Chelsea play from the director's area.

During summer you will quite often find me spending days at a time over at my mates house due to the fact it's a cool place to hang out and he has a lot more things to do there, like swim in the nice outdoor swimming pool.

One evening we were having a barbeque over there, and the family was sat around the table by the pool. The food was not quite ready yet so my mate and I were still ******* about, jumping in the pool etc. I decided I wanted to jump off the diving board and do a 360 degree forward flip. I take my run up, jump, land perfectly on the end of the diving board, and *SNAP*. Next thing I know I'm in the pool wondering WTF as I see the diving board has followed me in. It was a good 10 seconds before I decided to poke my head up from under the water, at which point my mate was dieing from laughter as his parents looked on anxiously to see if I was alright :p
 
Once I was riding along the highstreet in my old town on my bike when an old woman dropped her shopping. Me being the little **** I was back then, looked at her and laughed. I then proceeded to slam into a lampost.

Best example of karma I have ever seen (or in this case, been involved in) :p
 
GordyR said:
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laff.gif
Funniest story I've read, not that embarrasing, but highly amusing :D
 
BillytheImpaler said:
My most embarrasing moment had to be when I was about 16 (old enough to know better). I was at the reception following an honors ceremony with the Boy Scouts. I was making casual conversation with my buddies at the end of the food line and one of the parents came up behind us. I started to talk to him as all my mates listened. I hadn't seen him in about a year and I noticed that he had shaved his head and beard. He looked right silly. I proceeded to poke fun at him for about five minutes, oblivious to the looks of horror on everybody else's faces. As I reached the peak of what I shought was great casual fun the man's wife leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.

"He has testicular cancer and in undergoing chemotherapy."

Dear God, if you had killed me at that moment I would have appreciated it. I just wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole and never emerge for being so dense. I was never able to look him square in the eye again.
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O....M....G. That must have been...ahem....awkward to say the least. ROFL. :D

Did he get over his cancer? If so then he probably looks back and laughs about it. :)
 
Curio said:
I just remembered this one.....actually I think this was the one I used in the last "embarrassing moments" thread...

Bit crude I'm afraid...

I was working in a shop at the time. I'd had really bad gas all day, but had managed to find a quiet corner to let rip in most of the time. Unfortunately I got stuck on the till for quite a while and could feel the next pocket of rancid smelling gas pushing its way through. I was serving an elderly couple and couldn't hold it in any longer. Fortunately, it felt like it was going to be a "silent but deadly" so I tried (using skillful buttock and sphincter control) to sneak it out. Unfortunately, this just turned it into one of the loudest "squeakers" you've ever heard :( All I could manage was to look down at the the floor and kick about at nothing in particular, a puzzled look on my face, as if some mystery object was the source of the noise. Luckily, I don't think the old beggars even heard it....they certainly didn't say anything or give me any disgusted looks!
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lmao :D i think we've all been there... /in hysterics
 
I read a post about a swimming pool.
Which reminds me of an incident while on holiday in the northern part of Ibiza.
there was 4 of us on holiday at the resort, 2 couples in fact.
we were all playing in the pool, splashing water at one another and generally having a great time around the pool in the afternoon heat.
When i though a good way to splash the other 3 would be to do bomber splash into the pool near the edge where they located.
So i climb out and took a little run and a big jump into the bomber position and made the biggest splash that pool has ever know !

it was only when i came up to the surface that the others point out to me.
Not only had i splashed them, but also the old couple sitting a t table some 3 meters from the pool. Such was the force of the splash the water exspelled from the pool travelled Quite a distance from the pool.
Not only had it soak the old couple (also the cigarettes they were smoking were put out, the ash tray on the table was full of water, there drinks glasses contain pool water, not to mention there clothes !) sitting a table, but gone up a wall and soak a 1st floor balcony which had cloths drying on them.

The old couple did comment that it was an impression splash !

Though to make it up I did buy them some more drinks, packet of cigarettes, and lunch.

The other 3 in the party laugh their heads off.

Plus there was more embarrassing moments from that holiday, not for me, but for the others !
Evolving towels, toilet roll and my mates naked girl friend, oh yes plus a bed head board and the connecting wall ! ! !
 
I guess my earliest embarrassment was when me and a girlfriend went into Epping forest in my old Austin Alegro (with go faster strips and fluffy dice)....I wa about 18 I think - It got stuck in the mud and i had to ask my dad out to help.

On arrival he had my mum and sister in the car and they all asked me what has doing with the young lady... :o

I think i felt for the girl is was with at the time, because her cloths were all muddy from when she tried to push us out..LOL

Happy days !
 
FincH said:
Oh something I saw in a pub in Exeter that was highly amsuing...

Was pound a pint night and a mates birthday so we proceeded to get him totaly hammered, so much so he trhows up in his mouth, he gets up and runs to the toilets but is sick on the floor on his way.

Then about 30 seconds later a girl comes waking along carrying 3 pintsof Carling, slips on the sick my friend has just left, falls on her ass, covered by 3 pints of Carling.

Bwhahaha.
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you live in exeter?
 
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