Y.A.R.T. (Yet Another Relationship Thread)..
- Thread starter SMN
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I've been in a similar position where I think I did too much for an ex. She was a kept woman basically.
In a nutshell, I think that women lose respect for you if you pander to their every need and whim. If I were you I'd just cut and run. Move to Australia if that's what you want to do.
In a nutshell, I think that women lose respect for you if you pander to their every need and whim. If I were you I'd just cut and run. Move to Australia if that's what you want to do.
I'm not sure Milky's quote was big enough.
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She's trying to turn it into your fault :/
Move her out and see what happens, but prepare for the inevitable your relationship isn't her priority (obviously) so why should she be yours?
BB x
Move her out and see what happens, but prepare for the inevitable your relationship isn't her priority (obviously) so why should she be yours?
BB x
Soldato
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If she's already texting her other "gorgeous" fella and whatnot, it's over.
Ditch her, dude. Before it gets any worse.
Ditch her, dude. Before it gets any worse.
Man of Honour
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I'd let her move out and see how things go. You're clearly putting the effort in, but maybe she feels smothered and she doesn't like it?
Some of the things she said sound quite harsh tbh and that would have most people a little bit anxious. It could be that your relationship was more of a flash in the pan thing? Or it could genuinely be that she is stressed out and has a lot on her mind/plate, and isn't being rational.
If you really care about her, let her move out, be who you are... if she can't cope with it then you might have to rethink. Never easy to be rational/sober with these things unfortunately.
A lot of the signals sound negative to me - but I don't know the full extent, if you have opportunities don't blow your chances on something which isn't sure. Ultimately you need to be happy, if you're not then you need to make a choice.
Some of the things she said sound quite harsh tbh and that would have most people a little bit anxious. It could be that your relationship was more of a flash in the pan thing? Or it could genuinely be that she is stressed out and has a lot on her mind/plate, and isn't being rational.
If you really care about her, let her move out, be who you are... if she can't cope with it then you might have to rethink. Never easy to be rational/sober with these things unfortunately.
A lot of the signals sound negative to me - but I don't know the full extent, if you have opportunities don't blow your chances on something which isn't sure. Ultimately you need to be happy, if you're not then you need to make a choice.
Get her out of there. If the relationship carries on after then so be it. Although you may now have trust issues.
Maybe you did look after her too much but it doesnt sound like she made any effort to stop you.
Sounds like she's not worth it. So seriously consider dumping her.
Maybe you did look after her too much but it doesnt sound like she made any effort to stop you.
Sounds like she's not worth it. So seriously consider dumping her.
Soldato
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nmo Tl;DR version. im disappointed
It does seem a pretty full on relationship for someone in second year of uni. Feel bad for you, you've not really done anything wrong, but her position in understandable. See what happens when she moves out. You'll find out pretty quickly if she wants to make a go of it or not.
Ask her for a couple of months worth of rent, that should make her feel like she is contributing.....
And what student doesn't have time to clean up the house, what is she doing? A degree in medicine with law thrown on the top of it?
And what student doesn't have time to clean up the house, what is she doing? A degree in medicine with law thrown on the top of it?
To be fair, not knowing what she is doing, nearly all the decent graduate jobs require moving.
I can understand how she feels smothered. If you wanted to live together, why not find somewhere that you both want to live and somewhere you can both afford live in?
No one likes to feel like they are a charity case, and I suspect that is how the girlfriend feels (though obvioulsly you aren't intending it to be that way).
She feels that university is very important, and rightly so. She wants to do the best that she can do and for whatever reasons she doesn't believe that she can 100% commit to you.
You seem to be very different people and want different things, she seems slightly aloof (understandable as she is putting most of her effort/time/attention into her studies) whilst you are the very intense and keen boyfriend (which is also fine!).
Her wanting to move, no matter what, is very common and is quite mature and sensible. You trying to stop that is controlling and wrong.
Some time apart will do you both the world of good and will all you both to take stock and decide what the best course of action is.
Packing up and leaving everything seems a bit drastic at this moment, especially if you are doing it for the wrong reaons.
No one likes to feel like they are a charity case, and I suspect that is how the girlfriend feels (though obvioulsly you aren't intending it to be that way).
She feels that university is very important, and rightly so. She wants to do the best that she can do and for whatever reasons she doesn't believe that she can 100% commit to you.
You seem to be very different people and want different things, she seems slightly aloof (understandable as she is putting most of her effort/time/attention into her studies) whilst you are the very intense and keen boyfriend (which is also fine!).
Her wanting to move, no matter what, is very common and is quite mature and sensible. You trying to stop that is controlling and wrong.
Some time apart will do you both the world of good and will all you both to take stock and decide what the best course of action is.
Packing up and leaving everything seems a bit drastic at this moment, especially if you are doing it for the wrong reaons.
OP Here. Shes doing physiotherapy, so it is a full-time degree (unlike my 15 hour a week compsci degree ).
I think if we didnt live together already, then I think to myself it'd have probably ended already, and I think if someone said ^^ to me - i'd say well isnt that enough of a sign, and maybe it is.
I just dont want to pull the plug too soon without giving it a go, as stupid as it sounds. Im off to Australia in 10 days for a month, so Im going to say to her she should move out when I'm back and then we can see how it goes in the new year. She'll be spending the entire xmas break at her parents house anyway I suspect (not going to be alone - i wouldnt want to be!), So maybe that'll give her a taster of the living-with-parents nightmare.
). I think if we didnt live together already, then I think to myself it'd have probably ended already, and I think if someone said ^^ to me - i'd say well isnt that enough of a sign, and maybe it is.
I just dont want to pull the plug too soon without giving it a go, as stupid as it sounds. Im off to Australia in 10 days for a month, so Im going to say to her she should move out when I'm back and then we can see how it goes in the new year. She'll be spending the entire xmas break at her parents house anyway I suspect (not going to be alone - i wouldnt want to be!), So maybe that'll give her a taster of the living-with-parents nightmare.