Soldato
- Joined
- 1 Mar 2010
- Posts
- 6,306
Wasn't this the plot of Braveheart pretty much?
you didn't ask the father did you?
- Thread starter CircleFaust
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Wasn't this the plot of Braveheart pretty much?
Soldato
Probably would. It's no more old fashioned and outdated than the actual marriage
Its also how Ramsay Snow/Bolton was conceived in Game of Thrones.
It does indeed sum me up that I cared more what my future wife felt about something that isn’t necessary. Her feelings matter more to me than her fathers. Strangely they still matter more to me than her fathers. Perhaps that’s why I married her not him?
Caporegime
I wouldn't marry someone who still needed the care of their parents, but whatever floats your boat.
I asked for their blessing with the intention of marrying her anyway. Been with her for a few years so they know me well enough. Meant a lot to my partner and her parents. I also asked her twin sister which was just as important as asking her parents. Went down well and took 5 mins.
Associate
No
Associate
Lol how did her parents take it? My wife has a few cousins married to 'goras'
Man of Honour
2 out of 3 of you will have failed marriages so it's not surprising the replies in here.
I have been with my girlfriend about 13 years at this point. We have no intention of getting married. If I was to ever consider asking her to marry me, her father wouldn't even get an invite to the wedding let alone me asking permission to marry.
We would let people know after the fact, but she would be the one to know first and decide.
We would let people know after the fact, but she would be the one to know first and decide.
Soldato
Should have clarified, if I too had a daughter bring a man back to my house.
Man of Honour
Where's the respect in asking someone for permission to do something you're going to do anyway regardless of what they say? You're just emphasising that they're irrelevant, which is hardly respectful.
I think that respect would be shown by making your spouse's parents the 2nd and 3rd people you inform (after your spouse, obviously) and asking for their approval because it matters to you, not by asking their permission when it doesn't matter to you. I also think it should be done by both spouses with both sets of parents, equally. Maybe even at the same time, so nobody was first just in case that might bother someone.
No, because that tradition never existed. Not in England, anyway. I'm not certain about everywhere in the world, but it definitely didn't happen in England. It wasn't tradition. It wasn't even legal. While I've no doubt some lords got away with raping peasants, it was very illegal and the penalty was death.
The only even vaguely related law and custom that did exist in England was that a serf might have to pay their manor lord a fee for permission to marry someone from a different manor.
And like the rest of that film, it's a lie serving the purpose of propaganda to promote irrational prejudice.
The liars who made that film didn't even bother getting the year right...and that didn't matter because the truth had nothing to do with that film. They even pretended that a 7 year old girl in France was a woman in England and got away with that too. The truth is just an inconvenience to be ignored when making propaganda.
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That isn't too clear I don't think it can definitely be claimed one way or another, there is some evidence to support it though I've not made any claims of legality:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Droit_du_seigneur
Regardless the point was that disregarding one tradition doesn't mean you need disregard all. Shagging the bride on the first night is perhaps an extreme example, but you can substitute in making a monetary payment if you like.
Man of Honour
On the one hand:
An unsubstantiated claim that it had existed in the past and an unsubstantiated claim that the rare custom of the youngest son being the default heir is evidence of its existence.
On the other hand:
Not a single mention of it. It's not in any surviving accounts of law. There are no contempory mentions of it at all, only a handful of much later claims that it used to happen.
I think it can definitely be stated to have not been law or custom because there's no evidence that it was and if it had been there would have been at least some mention of it somewhere in the miles of medieval writing.
There's much better evidence for the story of Lady Godiva and that can be absolutely proven to not be true by the simple fact that her husband had absolutely no authority to levy taxes in Coventry or the surrounding land because he wasn't the local ruling noble there (his lands were elsewhere).
I didn't because they were estranged and she made him out to be a complete monster. It was only after we split that I learned he was a decent bloke and she was embellishing things. Now I'm on the receiving end of her craziness. Never again.