you didn't ask the father did you?

[Angilion]

Again I'm not making any claims re: law. There are some accounts from different sources mentioning it as a custom so it is a bit dubious to state it definitely didn't happen.

It's always described as a right, which is a claim about law. The right of the lord, the right of the first night...always described as a right.

There are some accounts from different sources mentioning it being a custom for Jewish people to kill babies to make bread for religious rituals. There are some accounts from different sources later in time of chastity belts being used in England in medieval times. There are quite a few examples of accounts from different sources about customs of other people and/or other times. These other people are savages, this other time was savage, the common theme being "not like us". The "not like us" is sometimes romanticised and sometimes villified, but neither are reliable accounts.

I'm not saying it definitely didn't happen. As I said in the first reply: "While I've no doubt some lords got away with raping peasants, it was very illegal and the penalty was death." I'm saying it definitely wasn't a right or a custom. Not in England, anyway.


In case anyone is wondering, chastity belts are Victorian. They were made up as "evidence" of how much more civilised Victorian times were - look at the barbarousness of the past! The only earlier mention is a second-hand retelling of a rumour that some women in some places had taken to wearing armoured underwear while travelling between towns as protection against being raped if they were attacked by bandits. It might or might not have happened, but isn't the same thing as the later stories about chastity belts anyway.

 

[dowie]

Well I don't think that you can claim it definitely wasn't a custom... either way I think we'll have to agree to disagree as you can't really prove a negative here and I'm not disputing that there isn't a great deal of evidence for it.

It is rather moot anyway as my argument works if you want to substitute in the payment of money instead.... so for the sake of argument lets go with that - same argument as before but I'll use the payment of money as the tradition rather than shagging the bride on the first night.

 

[gronf]

The father was from S. Korea, so he challenged me to a match of StarCraft. I lost - GG. I told her and she shouted BM at me, so I exited to the main life menu and went for a dong all-in with a hooker.

 

[Rifte]

Lol how did her parents take it? My wife has a few cousins married to 'goras'

Her father was very supportive however her mother was completely against it

Its all good now though .

 

[Semple]

I asked my fiancé's father last year. Although I can't quite remember if it was much of an ask or a I've got this ring and I want to ask your daughter to marry me.

I get on with him very well and had no doubts that he'd say no. It also made my fiance happy that I did ask.

 

[Adnams Drinker]

I did ask her Dad. His initial reply was something along the lines of "Christ, yes - I thought I'd never get rid of her!", which made me and him snigger and took a lot of tension out of the situation. He then shook my hand and followed it up with "Of course you can - you're a lovely bloke ... me and her Mum were wondering when you were gonna stop farting about and do it" - I'd been with his daughter for about 4-5 years by then.

He's a bit old-fashioned/old-school when it comes to things like this, as am I, so I felt it was the right thing to do. We'd always got on like a house on fire and he became both an awesome drinking buddy and a surrogate father figure when my Dad died.

Obviously now 20-odd years later with the small matter of me divorcing his daughter, I don't see him anymore and I really miss him. Strangely enough, completely out of the blue I had a phone call from him last weekend to see how I was. At one point he said probably the loveliest thing anybody (outside of my own family obviously) has ever said to me: "I still consider you a member of my family - you're just absent due to circumstances ..." - he's not the kind of bloke who talks about his emotions much, so when he says something like that, you know he means it.

That really got to me and I had to hang up at that point ...

 

[ivrytwr3]

Strangely enough, completely out of the blue I had a phone call from him last weekend to see how I was. At one point he said probably the loveliest thing anybody (outside of my own family obviously) has ever said to me: "I still consider you a member of my family - you're just absent due to circumstances ..." - he's not the kind of bloke who talks about his emotions much, so when he says something like that, you know he means it.

That really got to me and I had to hang up at that point ...

He must be knocking on a bit now, make sure you he knows how much that comment meant and how much he is appreciated! Nice story.

 

[The_Abyss]

2 out of 3 of you will have failed marriages so it's not surprising the replies in here.

Not entirely true, as statistically a number of people in this thread will get married for a second and third time, and also screw up those marriages too. Never overlook repeat offenders in statistics!

 

[Adnams Drinker]

He must be knocking on a bit now, make sure you he knows how much that comment meant and how much he is appreciated! Nice story.

He knows - for one thing, having known me for so long he knows how I think and for another, I did manage to say something grateful in reply before it got to me.

He's in his early-to-mid 70s, but has the outlook and attitude of someone 10-15 years younger. I was blessed to have fantastic parents in-law, given some of the horror stories you hear, which made my divorce even harder to bear - for over 20 years I was made to feel like a member of their family. Ironically, in some ways I've ended up missing my 'other' family more than I miss my ex-wife ...