your thoughts on the midlife crisis

Ayahuasca said:
It's easy, less socialising, more video games and arguing about how your pixels look better than someone else's pixels.
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He said how to spot a midlife crisis not how to spot a virgin? :p

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Regrets are a wate of your time and they are corrosive.

Don't look at it as a "crisis"- it's an opportunity for you to make decisions about what you want in future. It's never a bad time to do that.

You can't do anything about relatives getting old and frail. Make time to see them, and everyone wins.

Go for a walk in the sunshine. Visit your mum and have a chat. Consider what you want in your career. Take up archery.

Everything is there- just as much as it was yesterday.
 
Had my midlife crisis in 2015 when I was 40. I realised that I hated my job even though it paid extremely well. I came to the realisation that there was no point in earning loads of money if I didn't enjoy doing it and never had any time to enjoy spending it. I was depressed, burned out, and just plain unhappy.

So, I quit my consultancy job and took a job in a school fixing old PCs for 10% of the salary I was on. We downsized our house, cars, lives, and made do. It was a revelation. I was suddenly happy. Skint, but happy.

Now I've worked my way up in the school system to senior leadership level and have a good salary again. My midlife crisis was the making of me.
 
marinersfan said:
Me and my Mrs are mid 40s, we lost our mums to cancer within a couple of months of eachother.
So our midlife crisis is saying **** it and buying what we like when we like.
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Yup, my wife lost her dad and Nan at a young age.

My dad saved up all his life for his retirement life, then suffered a divorce, a heart attack and stroke and couldn’t really enjoy what he planned.

I try to find a better balance of today vs future planing. No point being the richest person in the graveyard. I guess I’ve also managed a combo of working hard plus a bit of luck/support to tick off the bucket list.
 
bigmike20vt said:
I don't think any of this is a midlife crisis just a natural evolution as you move on through life. There is nothing wrong with looking back at past decisions and changing direction. late 30s is still plenty of time left to do that.
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Agreed, a midlife crisis is just evolution, and as others have said, it’s not a crisis
The media portrayal is just drama
I had my ‘evolution’ moment when I got divorced for the second time - maybe you just need the right trigger
Re-evaluating your life is a sign of maturity and a desire to grow
 
tom_nieto said:
Currently looking for suggestions for a midlife crisis!
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mine was lose weight, start running and bought a sports car. triggered by a failing marriage and then divorce.

on the bright side I have a new wife and a child and much happier. sadly I found all the weight I lost after I buggered my knee running.

can't win em all ;)
 
marinersfan said:
Me and my Mrs are mid 40s, we lost our mums to cancer within a couple of months of eachother.
So our midlife crisis is saying **** it and buying what we like when we like.
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Yeah really puts things into perspective. We all know life is fleeting. But early never really think about it. Then someone next gen up passed or a friend/sister. Suddenly loads of things that seemed important no longer do

At 38 with no aches, and great flexibility. If this lasts longer I guess I'll get to the "you're lucky to have that". I know many people younger than me with not quite debilitating conditions. But definitely life impacting.

Sometimes I get into a bad headspace with all this. Other times I'll say.. "f it.. Love is short.. Go out and do it"
 
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Edit never mind, too much alcohol..

No hang on, have kids later on in life...by the time they have grown up and you have time to crisis you will have lost your marbles anyway.
 
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throwaway4372 said:
[38/m] I've been thinking about how I'm losing satisfaction my career and becoming aware of my mum's mortality, and generally wanting to go back and get a second shot at old decisions. I've heard these are signs of midlife crisis. I did some googling, but the results are poor quality - makes me think it was written by a woman, or society doesn't care about men's health /rant.

So I thought I'd ask the forum, plenty of guys here my age or older, so maybe you can chime in with your thoughts on the midlife crisis. What do you understand it to be, do you believe in it at all, what were your experiences or experiences of guys you know? How long did it last, any tips for handling it well or what to expect afterwards?
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I think a had a mild one a decade or o ago I think I'm in the middle of another. Kids suddenly a lot more independent of us, so have more free time, but don't want to do anything with it. I think its a realization of mortality and having the time to reflect on life in general, then being unable to find interest or joy in things you used to like, or thought you would like. Or seeing no value in them. Bought a couple of guitars to get back playing but almost never pick them up. Did buy an EV and am enjoying that.
 
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