How would you chat up a waitress?

Say that your tea tastes funny, and get her to taste your rohypnol-dosed tea. Then when she gets all woozy escort her to the door, and when her bemused manager asks what you're doing say "It's okay, I'm fully trained in rape".
 
Monkey Puzzle said:
Say that your tea tastes funny, and get her to taste your rohypnol-dosed tea. Then when she gets all woozy escort her to the door, and when her bemused manager asks what you're doing say "It's okay, I'm fully trained in rape".
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It's not rape if you shout "SURPRISE!"

I prefer the term Suprise Sex.
 
i recon girls like it when men attemt a serious conversation, get all nervous and fail totally. becuase it shows her that you fancy her a lot... as long as ** face doesnt get too red in the process you should be fine.

it'l probbaly go something like this..

"cough, uh excuse me, um...would.. would you mind if i could umm *scratches back of head* have your number, if maby you wanted to.. i dont know."

she will think, aww bless him.. he tried his best.. i cant say no now can i.. aww

^thats my theory. probably why i am girlfriendless at the moment:D
 
EdGey said:
i recon girls like it when men attemt a serious conversation, get all nervous and fail totally. becuase it shows her that you fancy her a lot... as long as ** face doesnt get too red in the process you should be fine.

it'l probbaly go something like this..

"cough, uh excuse me, um...would.. would you mind if i could umm *scratches back of head* have your number, if maby you wanted to.. i dont know."

she will think, aww bless him.. he tried his best.. i cant say no now can i.. aww

^thats my theory. probably why i am girlfriendless at the moment:D
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Nah, she'll probably be thinking "Hmm, our kids would have Asperger's....do not want"
 
find her younger brother and hangout with him to get closer too her and find out what she likes etc. wait outside work and smash her boyfriends head in with a hammer. then get battered by her dad

guess which film i just watched
 
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Azagoth has the winning solution thus far.

Or you could ask her name. Then go back. Demand her to be your servant and order nice stuff good wine etc and if you get champagne at the end offer her some (don't forget the roofie) then give her a massive "tip". Or just go there ask for her then tip her big and on your way out ask her if she'd like to go to X club (dunno where u live) on Fri/Sat night.

This hasn't worked for me but I'd love it if it did work at all :p


Throw money at the no-tails and they will love you.


Solution= (pay attention please)


BIG WALLET OR BIG PENIS.
 
Seriously though, forget all the damn pickup methods etc. Go to the damn establishment, not to eat/drink or anything. Request to speak to her at the desk/bar, and ask her out. Right there. Act like you have some balls.
 
Just ask her out and try once more if she says no then if no again you know she doesn't fancy you because you are ugly and will NEVER get a girl like her in your entire life.
 
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Don't use cheesey chat up lines. I purposely used to wear my brothers name badge (his names Sam :p) so that when they reffered to me by my 'name' and didn't realise and usually ignored them.

I find the people I got on with the best were regulars, you may want to pop down 2 or 3 nights to actually show her you're interested, just play it cool and talk about current affairs or something! All the drunks and business men used to really annoy me. Wasted and arrogant. Just.. be nice!
 
My standard approach, when single, to chatting up a waitress goes something like this: smile shyly, say hi in a really high pitched voice, glance away at any point when she looks at me and mouth thank you whenever she drops my food or drink off, leave a generous tip and never see her again.

It's worked pretty consistently for me so far in my life.
 
Pestilence said:
Seriously though, forget all the damn pickup methods etc. Go to the damn establishment, not to eat/drink or anything. Request to speak to her at the desk/bar, and ask her out. Right there. Act like you have some balls.
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Forget acting, that actually requires some balls.
 
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