The worlds WORST jokes in here please.

Justin Hill and Julie Hill were just married and decided to spend their honeymoon in an old beat up castle that belonged to Count Dracula.

As they went from the airport to the Count's Casle they encountered bad weather and poor visibility. Besides they were tired and heavily jetlagged and so Justin Hill met with a horrendous accident.

As they lay in the pouring rain, bleeding heavily one of the hands at the castle spotted the accident and came rushing to their aid and notified the Count about the unfortunate accident. The count examined them in the bunker of the Castle and realized they were dying and he could not do anything about it.

The Count became dejected and went up to his chamber and started playing on his church organ very soulful and sombre music.

As the music wafted down to the bunker, the assembled helpers began to hear Justin Hill moaning and a while later Julie Hill began moaning in pain too.

Upon hearing this, one of the helpers dashed out of the bunker and charged up the stairs to the chamber of the Count.

"Master! Master!!", The Hills are alive with the Sound of Music!"

(Much funnier if told and the last line is sung)
 
German: Todaaay jews vee eat ze pork

Crowd of Jews: Yaaaaaaaay!

German: Shutup you peeegs

********************

German: Todaaay jews vee ave ze race. Virst und laast vill be shot

Crowd of Jews: Yaaaaaaaay!

German: You two go *flick fingers*

(apologies if they are a bit borderline)
 
- What's that: one black leg in the river ?
- Handicap black man stays there
- What's that: two black legs in the river ?
- Two handicap black men stay there
- What's that: three black legs in the river ?
- Someone throw out a pianoforte...
 
A middle eastern king was down on his money and began to sell off his valuables. The last of these was the Star of the Euphrates, at that time the most valuable diamond in existence. He went to a pawnbroker who offered him 100,000 rials for it. "Are you crazy?", said the king. "I paid one million rials for this gem! Don't you know who I am?"

The pawnbroker replied, "When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are."
 
A middle eastern king was down on his money and began to sell off his valuables. The last of these was the Star of the Euphrates, at that time the most valuable diamond in existence. He went to a pawnbroker who offered him 100,000 rials for it. "Are you crazy?", said the king. "I paid one million rials for this gem! Don't you know who I am?"

The pawnbroker replied, "When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are."

They missed out on a blatant pawn star joke there.
 
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