Le relationship thread (keeping it short)

Angilion said:
I wouldn't end a relationship over a one-off sex-only cheating. A relationship with someone else, yes. Sex with someone else, no. Got a bit drunk, shagged some random from a club? I can forgive that. It's not massively important.

Different people, different reactions.
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Wow, that's pretty shocking that you can be so blasé about it.
 
regulus said:
Yep, 5 years of posting here and not one 'OMFG, guess what this ****ing bitch has done now!!' thread from me. I think one is due.

Ok, straight into it then. I'll keep it short.

My girlfriend has a mate that recently spilt up with her fella. He cheated, stole money from her old man and a whole host of other sins I don't know about or want to know about.

Now, my girlfriend and this girl has been hanging out a lot recently. She's hurting and looking for shoulders to cry on, my girlfriend offered hers. Naturally I encouraged this as it's a nice thing to do and hope there will be shoulders for me to cry on in the future, should I need it.
This girl being single (and hot), she is out on the pull (no, you cannot have the number) at least 5 times a week, undoubtedly prowling for rebound guys. Fine, we've all done it.

The problem however is this, my girlfriend is tagging along everywhere, fighting off the hordes of horny toads her mate actively attracts. Now, having been with her 7 years, I trust her, really, 110%. ....... until about 6 hours ago.

She came from a night out and picked an argument over something silly. In her anger, the real reason came out. She's not happy, things have stagnated, things aren't exciting, etc. Yes I know, she sees her mate living it up and she cannot do the same, but her demeanour really concerned me. I've seen her so angry at me in the past that she happily would've shot me if she had a gun handy, but this time was different. She seemed completely detached looking at me as if I was just some random ****** that stole 7 years of her life she cannot get back.

I have not been a perfect boyfriend and I know it, but the things she threw in my face went off like gun shots. Stuff that literally happened years ago, thing I have long forgotten was dusted off and paraded in front of me.
Was a big 'WTF' moment for me and I tried cooling things down. She went to bed with a look that would've scared an adder and said that we'll talk tomorrow, but that there probably 'isn't any point'.

So ... now I don't know. For once, intelligent thought fails me. I'd rather have both my legs amputated before I lose her, but this girl seemed different and hit me from angles she's never done before and hell-bent on a path very unfamiliar to me.

When she wakes up and still says these things ... what's a guy to do? And please, no wise-ass comments. Not today. Please.
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Simple answer is that you've messed up, yup, its your fault not hers. Without going too much into it one of the things you did wrong was let her go to the club without you. But that was your choice and now you're paying for it.
When it gets to this stage in the relationship and your misses is obviously now tiring of you and she now see's what else is available on the market other than yourself. Maybe when she went out with said friend she was shown some interest from other males, possibly other males that are in better shape than you or look better than you and they probably were all over her. Now that she sees what else is on the market its making her look at her current situation i.e. being with you, is it worth still being with you.

Sounds to me shes more interested in a challenge and she sees you now as easy prey as I guess you do what she asks.

If you want to learn more, go read the Game or study Venusian Arts...but to some it up, you got sloppy and because of this shes looking elsewhere.

I hope you can save it, but sorry to be frank about it. Yeah you can blame her but the behaviour she is showing is in all womens genes, they want a strong mate, and to me it sounds like you were that strong mate once, but you've just not been on top of your game.
 
Rhaos said:
Simple answer is that you've messed up, yup, its your fault not hers. Without going too much into it one of the things you did wrong was let her go to the club without you. But that was your choice and now you're paying for it.
When it gets to this stage in the relationship and your misses is obviously now tiring of you and she now see's what else is available on the market other than yourself. Maybe when she went out with said friend she was shown some interest from other males, possibly other males that are in better shape than you or look better than you and they probably were all over her. Now that she sees what else is on the market its making her look at her current situation i.e. being with you, is it worth still being with you.

Sounds to me shes more interested in a challenge and she sees you now as easy prey as I guess you do what she asks.

If you want to learn more, go read the Game or study Venusian Arts...but to some it up, you got sloppy and because of this shes looking elsewhere.

I hope you can save it, but sorry to be frank about it. Yeah you can blame her but the behaviour she is showing is in all womens genes, they want a strong mate, and to me it sounds like you were that strong mate once, but you've just not been on top of your game.
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So what your saying is it's the male duty to constantly be the "strong mate". It's all our fault when a slapper of a friend is after a re-bound and wants someone to go out with? How an earth does anyone other than kickboxing chuck norris lookalikes maintain a relationship if thats the case?

Surely a man can't be expected to be on top of his "game" throughout the relationship? Hell if that's the case i'll throw in the towel now.
 
Rhaos said:
Simple answer is that you've messed up, yup, its your fault not hers. Without going too much into it one of the things you did wrong was let her go to the club without you. But that was your choice and now you're paying for it.
When it gets to this stage in the relationship and your misses is obviously now tiring of you and she now see's what else is available on the market other than yourself. Maybe when she went out with said friend she was shown some interest from other males, possibly other males that are in better shape than you or look better than you and they probably were all over her. Now that she sees what else is on the market its making her look at her current situation i.e. being with you, is it worth still being with you.

Sounds to me shes more interested in a challenge and she sees you now as easy prey as I guess you do what she asks.

If you want to learn more, go read the Game or study Venusian Arts...but to some it up, you got sloppy and because of this shes looking elsewhere.

I hope you can save it, but sorry to be frank about it. Yeah you can blame her but the behaviour she is showing is in all womens genes, they want a strong mate, and to me it sounds like you were that strong mate once, but you've just not been on top of your game.
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Lol, what are you smoking. He let her goto the club without him and he's paying the price? Maybe he should have gone further and clubbed her over the head to keep her from going out? If you had studied the venesiuan arts then you would know that what you have suggested is complete nonsense, no where in any of the teachings does it say anything like you have. What's your source on this? Its not in anything Strauss, Von Markovich, Jeffries, DeAngelo et all have ever published.
 
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lucasade1 said:
So what your saying is it's the male duty to constantly be the "strong mate". It's all our fault when a slapper of a friend is after a re-bound and wants someone to go out with? How an earth does anyone other than kickboxing chuck norris lookalikes maintain a relationship if thats the case?

Surely a man can't be expected to be on top of his "game" throughout the relationship? Hell if that's the case i'll throw in the towel now.
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Basically yes, if you don't act like an alpha male let alone know how to keep your woman interested in you, then if an opportunity comes her way there is a high chance that they will look elsewhere.

its not about being top of the game all the time, its knowing when to and when not to do things for her, keep her interested in you and not get bored of you i.e Keeping her on her toes.

Trust me, its all about knowing Game and being or knowing how to be Alpha.
 
Metalface Mark said:
Lol, what are you smoking. He let her goto the club without him and he's paying the price? Maybe he should have gone further and clubbed her over the head to keep her from going out? If you had studied the venesiuan arts then you would know that what you have suggested is complete nonsense, no where in any of the teachings does it say anything like you have. What's your source on this? Its not in anything Strauss, Von Markovich, Jeffries, DeAngelo et all have ever published.
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Not smoking a thing at the moment, but I'll tell you something, my GF's I;'ve had in the past and my current one atm are no way allowed to go to clubs. I dont let them period because thats where guys that are after women go and they dont give a **** if the girl has a boyfriend or is married. They will try to pull them, some fail and some succeed, hence why I NEVER let my GF go to a club and if she does any guy that comes to try and chat her up usually ends up with me having a quick word telling him to **** off.
The source on this is Mystery, go read the Mystery Method and go watch his Pickup seminar vids. Mystery never lets his girls go clubbing otherwise he knows other PUA's or guys are going to try and seduce his woman. He even says if you are bringing your woman to the club be aware that he will try to seduce her whether shes with her boyfriend or not. Also go check out Mehow and if you have access check out Mehows videos, you see him blatantly trying to pull the woman infront of her boyfriend. Seriously though I recommend you check out Mysterys videos as the information is in there.

Dont dismiss Pickup cause if you are claiming you know some, then you dont know that much. As a PUA, I don't care if a girl has a boyfriend with her or not in a club, I'll still go up and try to seduce. Have I got lucky with girls that have there boyfriends with them, sometimes no sometimes yes, I even had one leave the club with her boyfriend only to come back an hour later to see me.

So in essence, if your GF wants to leave you, yeah she may be responsible for wanting to leave you but realistically you are at fault, you've done something wrong for her to look elsewhere. Because if she was into you she would know that she cant get better elsewhere. Dont blame yourself for it, just learn what to do so that you don't end up in the same situation again, learn Pickup and stop being an AFC.
 
I can see where Rhaos is coming from, but I don't entirely agree with it.

Relationships in essence are quite contradictory, whilst they are there to solidify and strengthen a relationship, they also weaken it. Committing yourself to someone takes away any danger and mystery surrounding that person, thus it gradually becomes boring and predictable.

I think it's the responsibility of both parties to try and make it unpredictable and still exciting over the years. But more so for the male to lead and the woman to chase. Hence why I agree with Rhaos to a degree, as if you let yourself go, both physically and mentally and provide no challenge for her then it's her instinct to look for a stronger mate. So in this case I would agree with Rhaos that it pretty much is the guys fault.

However, if she's going out just to get some attention and excitement I then think it falls on both parties to try an inject some fun and unpredictability back into the relationship, as if the relationship fulfilled her needs she wouldn't feel the urge to get validation from anyone else.
 
Rhaos said:
my GF's I;'ve had in the past and my current one atm are no way allowed to go to clubs. .
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lololololololololol

If my GF wants to go clubbing, she can go clubbing, I have no gripes with this, I trust her implicitly.

The thing is, she doesn't like going clubbing because she can't be bothered with all the letchy men.
 
Rhaos said:
Not smoking a thing at the moment, but I'll tell you something, my GF's I;'ve had in the past and my current one atm are no way allowed to go to clubs. I dont let them period because thats where guys that are after women go and they dont give a **** if the girl has a boyfriend or is married. They will try to pull them, some fail and some succeed, hence why I NEVER let my GF go to a club and if she does any guy that comes to try and chat her up usually ends up with me having a quick word telling him to **** off.
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Yea .. I'm not going to bother reading all that or replying since your first paragraph already made me chuckle. Let's just say we see the world differently and I find your ways .. strange. But hey, if your girlfriend is happy to ask permission to go to clubs without you, all the power to her.
Just remember, guys coming after girls doesn't just happen in clubs, it happens everywhere. Perhaps look into that and restrict some more of her freedoms while you at it.
 
Rhaos said:
Not smoking a thing at the moment, but I'll tell you something, my GF's I;'ve had in the past and my current one atm are no way allowed to go to clubs. I dont let them period because thats where guys that are after women go and they dont give a **** if the girl has a boyfriend or is married. They will try to pull them, some fail and some succeed, hence why I NEVER let my GF go to a club and if she does any guy that comes to try and chat her up usually ends up with me having a quick word telling him to **** off.
The source on this is Mystery, go read the Mystery Method and go watch his Pickup seminar vids. Mystery never lets his girls go clubbing otherwise he knows other PUA's or guys are going to try and seduce his woman. He even says if you are bringing your woman to the club be aware that he will try to seduce her whether shes with her boyfriend or not. Also go check out Mehow and if you have access check out Mehows videos, you see him blatantly trying to pull the woman infront of her boyfriend. Seriously though I recommend you check out Mysterys videos as the information is in there.

Dont dismiss Pickup cause if you are claiming you know some, then you dont know that much. As a PUA, I don't care if a girl has a boyfriend with her or not in a club, I'll still go up and try to seduce. Have I got lucky with girls that have there boyfriends with them, sometimes no sometimes yes, I even had one leave the club with her boyfriend only to come back an hour later to see me.

So in essence, if your GF wants to leave you, yeah she may be responsible for wanting to leave you but realistically you are at fault, you've done something wrong for her to look elsewhere. Because if she was into you she would know that she cant get better elsewhere. Dont blame yourself for it, just learn what to do so that you don't end up in the same situation again, learn Pickup and stop being an AFC.
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Funnily enough you're blatantly coming across as 'AFC' even though you claim to be 'alpha'.

You say that it's the boyfriends fault if his g/f get's picked in a club because he's not 'alpha' enough to keep her attention in the relationship. Yet you don't let your g/f go to a club alone because you're scared of her being picked up when you're not there. Yet the whole point of being 'alpha' is that you're secure enough in yourself knowing that you're all the man your woman or any woman needs. Oh dear the irony.
 
Rhaos said:
Simple answer is that you've messed up, yup, its your fault not hers. Without going too much into it because I have absolutely no fact, evidence, proof nor even theory.

*snip*
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Fixed.

Rhaos, you are going to be a very lonely old man with that attitude.
 
Holliday said:
I can see where Rhaos is coming from, but I don't entirely agree with it.

Relationships in essence are quite contradictory, whilst they are there to solidify and strengthen a relationship, they also weaken it. Committing yourself to someone takes away any danger and mystery surrounding that person, thus it gradually becomes boring and predictable.

I think it's the responsibility of both parties to try and make it unpredictable and still exciting over the years. But more so for the male to lead and the woman to chase. Hence why I agree with Rhaos to a degree, as if you let yourself go, both physically and mentally and provide no challenge for her then it's her instinct to look for a stronger mate. So in this case I would agree with Rhaos that it pretty much is the guys fault.

However, if she's going out just to get some attention and excitement I then think it falls on both parties to try an inject some fun and unpredictability back into the relationship, as if the relationship fulfilled her needs she wouldn't feel the urge to get validation from anyone else.
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So true, but if you're alpha from the beginning and know how to keep it interesting without your misses doing any work, then that's the job done and shes less likely to look elsewhere becasue you are keep her entertained and interested.

Its all about knowing what not to do i.e not constantly jumping through your girls hoops whenever she wants something from you or gets yu to do something for her and what to do i.e. how to act, how to keep things interesting, what qualities you need to posses so that your woman looks at you and goes Wow I'm with a awesome guy.
 
Angilion said:
Well...would you like it if the positions were reversed and she brought it up later?

I think it isn't worth it. You don't have any hard evidence, just behaviour on her part that might have been down to guilt. There is another very plausible explanation, though. Envy of her friend, essentially. Her friend who can do what she pleases, without any ties to anyone else, without a relationship that after 7 years must have some mundane parts about it.

Not enough to be worth poking at, in my opinion, but if you do leave it you need to really leave it. Not bring it up later. Not bring it up ever. Most of all, you need to leave it out of your mind, not just out of talking with her.
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Strange Angi, probably the first post of yours I've seen that doesn't scream 'I'm on my period!!! F off before I bite your head off!!!' :p

And yes, things are good right now and I have no desire to go poking around the past. I'm leaving it.
 
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