Girlfriend not able to drink... what do?

** No drug talk, even in jest **

On a serious note she will probably end up being grateful. It will certainly change your social life. Don't expect her to enjoy the same things. Personally when I am sober I find drunk people unbearable, and would never enjoy going to a pub or club sober.

I also would be surprised if the problem goes away by itself. She may try a drink in 6mnths and find it causes nonproblems.
 
FosterK said:
First of all, this isn't a medical thread - I'm not asking for medical advice.

Over the past few months, she's been getting headaches while drinking. No, before you say, it's not to do with tolerance of alcohol, or being hungover, or anything like that. The situation's gradually gotten worse, and it's now got to the point where even a few sips of any alcoholic drink will lead to a massive migraine 10-15 minutes later. I suggested trying different drinks to see if it was something she was allergic to, reactions to sulphites and whatnot, but as it is, she's experienced these headaches with all sorts of drinks ranging from wine, ciders, organic ciders, amaretto, vodka and other spirits with mixers, and so on. All have had the same effect.

So after this going on and getting worse over a period of a few months (at first she could 'drink through' it), I finally managed to convince her to go and see a doctor about it. She did so last week, had a liver function test, a blood test, and did a wee in a pot jobby to go and be analysed. Results came back this morning, and everything's completely inconclusive, meaning she's left in the same situation of not being able to drink, but without any solution, or any idea as to why.

We're both 20, and we're about to finish our exams in second year of uni. Obviously, drinking is somewhat of a big part of the post-exam plans for students, so naturally, she's rather upset about this, and it is very much a life changing thing.

Now, she's not a binge drinker, and never has been. The main issues for her are her shyness; she reckons alcohol makes it easier for her to socialise (which, hey, a lot of people do), and more so, she said she's gonna miss having a glass of wine or amaretto or whatever after a hard week, or with a meal, etc - actually enjoying alcohol responsibly!

She's absolutely down in the dumps about all this, and doesn't know what to do with herself. Another thing ****ing her off is her friends inability to believe her - they're see it as a choice. She's not had a drink in over 2 months now, but her friends are still repeatedly messaging her and saying stuff along the lines of 'wine times on Monday!' (when she finishes her exams), which is only serving to **** her off even more.

I've been trying to cheer her up about it, the prospect of living a life without alcohol. I know it may seem a very minor thing to some, but to a 20 y/o girl in the prime of her life, it's certainly out of the ordinary to not be able to drink at all. Yes, some people make that choice, but she didn't want to, and it's been forced upon her.

I've mentioned things along the lines of how it won't be as bad as you think, all the money she'll save, even as far as the calories she'll save (she's a size 10 but is nontheless obsessed with her weight as most girls are...), and then I'm sort of drawing a blank.

Yeah, I've resolved to support her in any way I can, even if it means going out for a meal and opting for a coke instead of a pint or a bottle of wine, not drinking around her, doing things together that don't involve alcohol (cinema, going for walks, etc)... But yeah, that's about all I can think of. I'm not completely cutting booze out of my life for her sake, that's just daft, but I'll be as supportive as I can be.

Anyway, with all that considered, does anyone have any (sensible!) ideas as to how I can cheer her up? She's really down in the dumps at the moment (not just about the booze, there's a lot of other stuff going on that I won't go into), and I'm sorta stumped here as to what I can do to cheer her up! I was really banking on the doctors being able to sort something out! With all the **** she's got going on at the moment, frankly, she could use a stiff drink :/

Once again, this isn't a medical thread, I'm just looking for a bit of advice on how to help her out.

Cheers!

TL;DR: 20 y/o girlfriend can't drink anymore, she's upset about this, what can I do to help?
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Tell her she's a lightweight.

Then kill her.
 
Hola, back from work.

Devrij said:
I stopped drinking when I was 20 and at uni, and I sorta didn't have a choice either so I can relate. The good news is that I have more fun and spend less money, and never get hangovers. The bad part is watching everyone turn into knobs and having to chaperone them as the night progresses. Now I keep it fun by recording the most embarrassing moments on my phone. She has all that in store as a young sober person. You, op, have a gf who will remember every stupid thing you say or agree to while drunk. Lol.
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Aiye, I suppose I can make that point to her!
...and God help me, I talk ******** at the best of times!



colzboppo said:
May just be an allergy, may be she has some underlying general complaint that is increasing the toxic load on her liver to the point any additional toxin, ie alcohol is causing her problems, water toxicity may not be helping either, buy some celtic sea salts and use sparingly in cooking, or just drink some in water with some fresh fruit juices.

Bit of a health kick and change in diet may improve her situation, need to get to the root cause of the problem rather than just admitting defeat and resigning to never drinking again, find out if she is allergic first.

Then if not, try some alternative treatments, she may have candida and/or low immune system contributing to her general unwellness, she could try cleanses, fasting, gluten free diet, etc etc.

Its up to her if she wants to just admit defeat and never drink again, or she can do something about it, I know I wouldnt put up with it, i love my drink i do :)
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TBH, she does eat very well. We've been on a bit of a health kick together since Christmas (both had put on a few pounds, takeaways and junk food are a lot easier at uni than healthy eating, and it was time to knock that!) - so loads of fruit and veg, freshly cooked food, stuff from scratch sort of thing.. so I'd genuinely say that can be ruled out.

The doctor suggested she take zinc tablets, as while there's no definite answer as to the cause, apparently zinc can boost liver performance. She's text me while I was in work saying about the zinc, and that she's in a bit of a better mood about it, thinks it might be something to do with the pill (and handily, she's starting a different pill next month), will have a few months off the booze entirely, taking multivitamins and zinc. After that she'll judge how she feels and try drinking again.


Judgeneo said:
Is it just headaches or physical sickness?
One of my cousins had a problem to do with his stomach that prevented him from drinking, sounds similar symptoms. But hey what do I know :D

Just don't drink
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Just the headaches! I think she said once that the headache was so bad that it made her feel nauseous, but frankly, I'd say the nausea was indirect. Suffering migraines occasionally, I can definitely say that a bad headache/migraine certainly has the capacity to make you throw up. Something along the lines of an instinctual reaction/reflex, your brain basically saying 'something's clearly not right here, maybe something I've eaten, time to puke' essentially.

EdwardTeach said:
On a serious note she will probably end up being grateful. It will certainly change your social life. Don't expect her to enjoy the same things. Personally when I am sober I find drunk people unbearable, and would never enjoy going to a pub or club sober.

I also would be surprised if the problem goes away by itself. She may try a drink in 6mnths and find it causes nonproblems.
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I'm aware of that, yeah. TBH, I'm not much of a clubber as it is, so I do doubt there'll be any problems over us liking different stuff. I much prefer going to pubs and spending time with mates, rather than standing around in a noisy club drinking until I enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I'll go clubbing on occasion, when I'm really up for it.

The gf however loves to go for a dance, and I think she fears that being sober means she'll feel left out. Unlike me though, she doesn't really need drink in her to bust a groove, so I don't think it'll be all that bad!

Hopefully, as mentioned above, after a few months off and with a positive attitude, and on a different pill, she'll be able to have a drink, without a crippling headache. Until then, it's just a case of staying positive. She'll need to keep in mind that doing this MAY work, and may not work, so I don't want her to build up to it and then be crushed again. Gonna talk to her tomorrow about it, cheers everyone!
 
so did you look into to much water = bad and causes headaches + you can die or did you skip my post?

if she seriously drinks loads of water like you say maybe thats why
 
arknor said:
so did you look into to much water = bad and causes headaches + you can die or did you skip my post?

if she seriously drinks loads of water like you say maybe thats why
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Sorry mate, I didn't see it before!

When I say she drinks loads of water, I mean in place of where people would go for fizzy drinks. Short of a coffee in the morning, and milk on her cereal, she's normally just on plain tap water. I'd say she drinks around 2 litres of tap water a day.

I doubt that this is the issue here, but I will mention it to her and see what she says. Cheers!
 
Woo82 said:
Might be something to do with birth control pills?
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Possibly, yes, as I've mentioned above, and someone else mentioned earlier. As I say, she's starting a different pill at some point in the next month, so we'll see how it goes.
 
Suggest botox. you may think that i am kidding here, but apparantly it can help with migraines. something to do with relieving tension which can cause migraines

my gf suffers with migraines all the time and it is hard. dont think it could be the pill if she has been on it for a while. but you can get a non hormonal injection. if you think that it could be hormones in the pill which is causing migraines.

i think my gf first started having migraines from alcohol, but now has them when she doesnt drink. it might be worth going to see a neurologist and having a CT scan, if she is quite worried. probably will turn up nothing but at least you can rule out the fact of annurisms and such like
 
When I was a drinker, I had to stop drinking alcopops like Smirnoff Ice and WKD because the sugar gave me banging headaches in the middle of the night out. I could drink pint after pint of Guinness and have no problem. But after three or four WKDs I would feel a headache coming on.
 
FosterK said:
Sorry mate, I didn't see it before!

When I say she drinks loads of water, I mean in place of where people would go for fizzy drinks. Short of a coffee in the morning, and milk on her cereal, she's normally just on plain tap water. I'd say she drinks around 2 litres of tap water a day.

I doubt that this is the issue here, but I will mention it to her and see what she says. Cheers!
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well aparently water retention can cause headaches, does your missus get swollen/puffy legs/ankles ? if she does you could try some water retention tablets and see if that helps her.

i did notice some people claiming anti histamine tablets stopped them getting headaches when consuming alchohol and aparently histamine can cause water retention so could be worth trying those to.

i wouldnt take either for the longterm though but if either does help its something she could mention to her GP in order to try and establish the real cause behind it all
 
GHB? Seriously though it's hardly the end of the world just because she can't use a drug she likes.

I suspect it's psychological because a few sips would contain a negligible amount of ethanol in it.
 
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