A bit of a problem, not sure what to do?

FeFiDoh

FeFiDoh

FeFiDoh

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Swindon
I am not one for doing this sort of post but I am lost as what to do and need advice. Can't really talk to anyone about it yet family wise.

The other week my parents went on holiday, my sister got a message from my dad saying

"you dumped me before we even started"

She questioned him on it and he tried to fob it off about something he had said earlier, it made no sense.

He had been staying on the PC longer than usual (he has had quite a bit of work) and been shutting the door to the room which is odd.

He is going up North today (already there) for a work thing he has Monday/Tuesday but also for a reunion & birthday of some old swimming friends he met via facebook.

I was a little suspicous that it just happned to fall on the same weekend seemd far to lucky and with that message the other day I may have put a keylogger on his pc.

Checked his recycle bin and theres 2 photos of some lady and I managed to find his FB password, which amazingly is one he uses for a few things anyway.

Checking his messages he has been talking to an oooold old gf from when he was around 19. Some pretty heavy flirting and about meeting up going for a nice meal and other bits.

I see no mention of this reunion or friends birthday via his facebook just a lot of chat convo between the 2 of them. Also been texting and emailing quite a bit it appears although I haven't looked at them.

Obviously I fear he is going up there just for her and probably does have the works thing Monday/Tuesday but he decided to go up a day early. He was meant to be leaving tomorrow but this lady has today off work.

what on earth do I do? I could easily tell him that I just happened to load opera and his facebook was on so he won't know I have keylogged his pc. He is useless when it comes to tech but I can't outright accuse him of anything as I can't see what he is up to or if it will go any further.

Can't tell my mum yet unless I am just reading to much in to the flirting and my sis will just go a bit mental and probably blurt it out.

O and he called yesterday to say he was going to be late home as he had to go to the bodyshop to get some bits for this guys wedding, they are getting some joke bits for him as he is 'under the thumb' in their convo there is talk of him giving her a massage etc.. Man this sucks kinda wish I hadn't done it but felt I needed to know.
 
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Walk away. Really.

Unless you want to end up with some (or potentially all) of your family hating you, I imagine it's best to (try to) forget everything and let it play out.

Whilst I appreciate you'll likely want to fix it in some way, I'm not sure there is a 'good' solution.

YMMV.
 
Ouch mate - that's a rough situation to be in :(

If it was me......I think I would just say to him "look, I know what's going on.....stop it now for all our sakes" - just that....don't elaborate or anything. Leave it at that.

But that's me....I dunno if that's the best way.

Best of luck to you!
 
Your parents might just be going through a bad patch and he's enjoying the attentions of someone else, there may be nothing more to it. However if you out him then it will cause massive problems and probably split them up anyway.

Massive call if you decide to do anything about this.
 
I was thinking about this the other day actually and I didn't really come up with an answer, although without concrete evidence you look like a bit of a nob throwing accusations. If he is up to something and you knew for certain then you'd have to tell your mum - tough one though.
 
Stay well away from it, there is very little you can do anyway. If something is going on it's going to go on regardless and if not you will look like a trouble stirring ass.
 
An awkward dilemma. Whatever you do, you run the risk of being blamed one way or another if you get too involved. I would just leave him an anonymous message on his facebook telling him he's been found out and to stop before his wife gets wind of his activity! Give him the problem of what to do next and the anguish of wondering who it is who knows his secret?
 
Tough call. On one hand you might save their marriage on the other destroy it. I wouldn't want to make that decision.
 
he's having an affair, or intended to, so it's still as bad. I'm not sure what to say except I'm sorry to hear it.

I don't think it's fair to go straight to your mum though. Maybe sit him down and tell him you know and see what he says. If it really is over then perhaps it's best to let it lie. If it's not then tell him that he should tell your mother or you will; it's not fair on her for him to wait around and see if it works with this other woman.

B@
 
If I tell him and it was just harmless banter then I stand the chance of making it a lot worse. If I don't and something happens I will feel I should have done something before hand.

Going to eat away at me.
 
Can't say I agree with the keylogger bit..

If it was me, I'd confront my dad about it asking wth is he up to, etc etc
 
B@Th*nG said:
he's having an affair, or intended to, so it's still as bad. I'm not sure what to say except I'm sorry to hear it.

I don't think it's fair to go straight to your mum though. Maybe sit him down and tell him you know and see what he says. If it really is over then perhaps it's best to let it lie. If it's not then tell him that he should tell your mother or you will; it's not fair on her for him to wait around and see if it works with this other woman.

B@
Click to expand...

This.
 
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