Ugly babies

I wish I had a picture of my mates baby when he first arrived. They had to use some kind of plunger and forceps to get him out and although it went back to normal pretty quickly he had an oval head the shape of an alien, I have never seen such an ugly baby.
 
mrbios said:
:confused: i realise you're trying to joke but babies, to a parent, are very serious business, more serious than anything else you do in life.
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Yeah, I know that. It's exactly the point I tried to make, in fact. I just don't understand why some have to act like they've just been personally attacked when someone makes a random joke involving someone else's baby entirely.

It's akin, for example, to someone refusing to see the funny side of a sick-but-hilarious cancer joke because their grandmother died of lung cancer 9 years ago. There's just no need to take offence on behalf of the world at something that quite clearly isn't meant in anything but jest.
 
Pestilence said:
Yeah, I know that. It's exactly the point I tried to make, in fact. I just don't understand why some have to act like they've just been personally attacked when someone makes a random joke involving someone else's baby entirely.

It's akin, for example, to someone refusing to see the funny side of a sick-but-hilarious cancer joke because their grandmother died of lung cancer 9 years ago. There's just no need to take offence on behalf of the world at something that quite clearly isn't meant in anything but jest.
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That's because most jokes like that aren't actually funny. They're shocking, but they're not actually funny.
 
Three babies have been born in the flats surrounding ours in the last two months. They are very nice and all but I feel awkward as to what to say each time I see them now. Am I meant to feel abliged to congratulate the couples on having sex?
 
FARGO said:
Three babies have been born in the flats surrounding ours in the last two months. They are very nice and all but I feel awkward as to what to say each time I see them now. Am I meant to feel abliged to congratulate the couples on having sex?
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If you saw me having sex you wouldn't hesitate to congratulate me
 
FARGO said:
Three babies have been born in the flats surrounding ours in the last two months. They are very nice and all but I feel awkward as to what to say each time I see them now. Am I meant to feel abliged to congratulate the couples on having sex?
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Great job on the functional gonads!
 
* I meant congratulate me on a job well done, not congratulate me for managing to find someone willing or anything. Curse my ambiguous terminology.
 
I remember thinking that my middle son looked like a conehead on arrival. Seriously his head was like a bullet shape which is to err.... aid exit so I now understand but at the time it was quite a shock.

I also still maintain that you look more or less the same on arrival as you do on departure give or take a bit of height. Pretty hairless, toothless, not able to see and hear too much and in need of a nappy :D. I believe one of my first comments was that he looked like my grandfather :). Luckily my wife pretends to understand me very convincingly so no baseball bats were drawn.

When born babies tend to look quite similar with the rolls of extra flesh like a pug. It is when they develop a bit of character and loose some of the puppy fat that they start to become more of a unique and you can appreciate them for who they are rather than what they are.

Seriously we are just very happy that all three were born healthy and happy, if a bit noisy which hasn't changed as they have grown older ;).

RB
 
mrbios said:
I felt genuinely proud that my balls worked when i found out my missus was preggers :o (and for some reason relieved.....lol)
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I got hit in the nuts with a cricket ball when I was 12, really quite badly. Ever since then I've had this thing at the back of my mind with wondering if I'm still fertile so yes I can identify with that relief.
 
Robbie G said:
I got hit in the nuts with a cricket ball when I was 12, really quite badly. Ever since then I've had this thing at the back of my mind with wondering if I'm still fertile so yes I can identify with that relief.
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I had the same thing happen to me (except it was a football that hit me in the nuts) and ever since then I always wondered if I would be able to have kids.

Turns out I could.
 
Vonhelmet said:
That's because most jokes like that aren't actually funny. They're shocking, but they're not actually funny.
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Hmmm, good point. With myself, the line between the two is very, very thin and exceptionally blurred. I guess people don't like to be shocked! But then again, how come the same people could find the humour in South Park's "Crack Baby Fight Club"?

That's the end of it from me, anyway, and I'll step away from the thread before I manage to say something wrong and end up receiving a superiority battering from all of the fathers!
 
I was thinking this exact same thing the other day when looking at facebook.

Obviously someones child will always be beautiful to them, and you simply cannot call their baby ugly no matter how alien it is :/ better to say nothing at all!
 
Pestilence said:
I've never seen a baby that didn't look, to me, a) fugly, b) stupid or c) like every other friggin' baby I've ever seen.

When people start showing photos of their newborns, though, you can't win. All they'll get, and all they're after, is "OMG SO LOVELY", "OH, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL" and whatever other crud. In those situations it's a case of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Mind you, I think the last baby photo I commented on was my most recent niece a couple of months ago when she was just born. As usual, just another dopey looking, lead-eyed newborn.

My comment? "I'd hit it." At least it got a laugh from the father.
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I actually have to agree with this.

All babies are ugly and meaningless to me, as are children.

Yea yea, feel free to go and organize a lynch mob to hunt me down and burn me or something, babies suck and are over rated.
 
bhavv said:
I actually have to agree with this.

All babies are ugly and meaningless to me, as are children.

Yea yea, feel free to go and organize a lynch mob to hunt me down and burn me or something, babies suck and are over rated.
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So you're a misanthrope. Good good.
 
There are cute babies and there are ugly ones...........

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me."

The man says, "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
 
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