BLOODY PRIVATE HOSPITAL BILL - Leave me ALONE!!!

Sent a few emails prior which is all straight laced and formal and it didn't work :) Hoping this one catches their attention!

Love some of the responses, made me properly lol! The spider is genius.

The beauty of it is I've paid :D And I have statements! And I have spoken to every Tom Dick and Harry about it! Either way, I'm off for a year and a half soon globe trotting so they can worry their knickers off about it whilst I'm elsewhere :)

This is you isn't it ...

http://ohinternet.com/Katy
 
My Email to a debt collector... do you think they'll stop bugging me now:



I am THE stompy dinosaur anger.

I had the unfortunate experience last year of paying to go private due to a concern of on going pains in my side for over 5 months (and the NHS waiting list meant I would have to wait a further 6 months to be seen).

I seriously regret the day though of turning up at the private section of the hospital with all their wonderfully decorative fake flowers and a bimbo of a secretary that's equivalent to an annoying version of Eva-the-receptionist from Grim Fandango.

I am fed up of debt calls and threats of bailiffs... I just want them to BUGGER RIGHT OFF!! ARGhGHGRhghGHHHH

Could you be any ruder ?
 
You should really include that you contest the bill somewhere in the letter. Collection agencies are not supposed to get involved until after the amount has been agreed or non contested.
 
Well, as it is thier responsibility to sort these things out, I would be sending a letter like yer_averagejoe suggested to them. Then follow up if they do not do anything about it, follow up and take them for whatever you can.

The debt collectors have heard it all before. Dont waste your time with them, don't speak to them, nothing.
 
Please note I will not be held responsible for any broken IT hardware from any spillages or spitting out of tea due to reading the content of this email.

Just....what?

I hope you haven't sent this email to them.

As yer_averagejoe says, keep it simple, keep it straight to the point, provide evidence...but don't go trying to be funny, it just doesn't work especially in this context.
 
So..........do you enjoy it up the bum?

KaHn

I thought this pretty much answered it:

"especially seeing as I was being accompanied by my boyfriend of 3 months and he witnessed the nurse leave the room with a bowl of "something suspicious".

:D
 
Has to be the worst email ever.

Your trying to sort out a situation about outstanding debts - instead you come across as a cocky, arrogant, chauvinistic idiot.

Grow up and deal with the matter at hand correctly and it might get sorted out - with that sort of email - i doubt they will even take it seriously and will continue to chase you for the debts
 
Wow, you are really, very bad at complaining. Like, seriously counter-productive kind of bad.
 
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