Problems at work...what do I do now?

mrbell1984 said:
HR still have feelings! Some people do care about others and respect them so don't judge all of company HR departments.
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HR lost all their feelings when they changed their name from 'personnel dept' to HR. 'nuff said.
 
Honestly guys, the email (as bad is it read with the little back story i gave you) was just putting what i said in the Friday meeting into words

I have had a chat with HR this morning regarding it and he said as much. They are not going to fire me or 'let me go' over it

The fact that these issues have been kicking around for the last 2 years has a big impact on it. Jim has only recently become my manager (in the last 3 months or so?) and there was no 'official' announcement of such - which i have to admit rubbed me up the wrong way.

Also to address my 'demands' to know what he does, this is also a valid point, as there have been instances where I have been on my own in the team and I have other managers or directors asking for updates on tickets and issues, and rather than being able to refer to a sheet or a list of important bits of info, i have either had to scramble around to find the information and even in some cases have to tell the requester that I'm really sorry, I don't know whats happening, all i can see is x,y,z. We will have to wait for Jim to return to the office in 2 weeks or what ever. In a team of 3 (or at the time 2) is that's really good enough?

After speaking to HR this morning, I have been called for an Official Meeting with my office Manager and HR tomorrow at 10am. It is a disciplinary hearing (I can already hear some of you saying 'I told you so'), but it is to do with how i have handled myself/my conduct NOT what I have said, NOT my lack of productivity - and I am not going to be fired or anything

This is my chance to have an official transcript of my issues created - which can not be ignored in the future should everything go back to the 'old' way again.

To those who are saying i sound like I'm all self important etc. Well...to be fair I haven't elevated or bigged myself up and I can say that when I have had reports from 2 directors and several managers saying that my knowledge is 'far superior due to my previous work positions' and that my job position at the moment is 'the best place for my advanced skill set'. But your going to say that I'm ******ing that now too so I'm never going to win there.

In regards to Fox's opening post: yes, I do feel like if none of the other problems going on in my life were happening I would have handled things very very differently. Irrational? Maybe, but relevant to me
 
Try not to get so defensive about it (that applies to the forum and your meetings/conversations/correspondence with your employers). If you can be as calm and diplomatic as possible it will help your cause and you will come across as being more rational.

Good luck, I hope you can resolve some of the issues.
 
Take the time between now and tomorrow to prepare yourself as much as you can. You may or may not want someone to accompany you but it is often useful. Ask to defer if you cannot arrange for someone in that time. Most importantly, work out exactly what you want to say and write it out either in full or in bullet points. Once you have written everything down, go through it with a fine toothcomb to put as much positive spin onto it as possible - so instead of saying "I wish Jim wouldn't do XYZ" put it across as "it would be more effective for the organisation if Jim did XYZ". Try to avoid being personal as well.
 
grimm said:
Try not to get so defensive about it (that applies to the forum and your meetings/conversations/correspondence with your employers). If you can be as calm and diplomatic as possible it will help your cause and you will come across as being more rational.

Good luck, I hope you can resolve some of the issues.
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DanielMMS said:
Take the time between now and tomorrow to prepare yourself as much as you can. You may or may not want someone to accompany you but it is often useful. Ask to defer if you cannot arrange for someone in that time. Most importantly, work out exactly what you want to say and write it out either in full or in bullet points. Once you have written everything down, go through it with a fine toothcomb to put as much positive spin onto it as possible - so instead of saying "I wish Jim wouldn't do XYZ" put it across as "it would be more effective for the organisation if Jim did XYZ". Try to avoid being personal as well.
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Thank you for the advise. I have some thoughts about a few things I can discuss.

Tbh after Friday, the email, the replies on here and the conversation I had with HR this morning I am feeling better about it all and have managed to speak to Jim today.

Something I found out this morning too is that Jim has taken none of this personally (wish the same could be said for myself)...go figure...
 
trixilux said:
Something I found out this morning too is that Jim has taken none of this personally (wish the same could be said for myself)...go figure...
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...what can you say about this thread...

Jim might have taken it personally, Jim might have taken it very personally especially when you say you will work with someone but won't look them in the eye but...

Jim is being a professional.

You aren't there to make friends (though it's nice when it happens) you are there to work to the best of your ability and be given money for doing that.

Jim is rising above all the agro and drama and being professional.

What else is he going to do, have a big strop back at you thereby making it an awful atmosphere for you, him and everyone else round you?

Good grief, stop being so dramatic. Put your hours in and go home. It sounds like he's giving you the opportunity to wipe the slate clean, say nothing more about it and get on with the job.

Do it, and keep looking for other employment in the mean time as you've given yourself a hell of a blot on your copy book where you are now!

If you have a real grievance speak to them in the disciplinary you've got coming up, for example "I just don't like him" isn't a real grievance.


I'm usually sympathetic when people have problems but you've come across so badly in just describing what's going on it sounds like you're the problem more than anything else. I hope the situation doesn't have as much drama as you've described.
 
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TheBigCheese said:
Jim is being a professional.
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There's being professional and there's being passive aggressive by knowing exactly what you're doing and completely allowing the other party to try and fix it with little option other than to call you out, while you just sit there like a complete **** while looking calm all along.

I've worked with loads of people like this, they're complete idiots, they'll do anything to abuse their position in and will argue in the face of logic and facts but when it comes to someone getting tired of them and trying to do something about it, they just stay silent and smug about it because there isn't a tactful way about telling HR "This person is a complete idiot, help".

That's not to say this happened at all here, but it happens.
 
Oh my god, I've not read all 6 pages, but i did read all the opening post and jeesus woman, you need to lighten up and grow up.

That email you have sent was wholly unprofessional and quite frankly utter rubbish, you have the problem so deal with it, and if you think being professional is demanding a list of your bosses duties and not looking at them but vaguely listening....think again and start looking for a new job!
 
Dont underestimate a disciplinary, no matter what it is in relation to.
Personally, I would be concerned that they have not dealt with his informally, as it would suggest that they do not consider it to be a minor problem that can be overlooked with a few words.
If it is a disciplinary in any sense of the word, and leads to a warning, then your card is well and truly marked, and this could just be a case of going through the motions because they cant give you the elbow on the spot.
 
mjd said:
Dont underestimate a disciplinary, no matter what it is in relation to.
Personally, I would be concerned that they have not dealt with his informally, as it would suggest that they do not consider it to be a minor problem that can be overlooked with a few words.
If it is a disciplinary in any sense of the word, and leads to a warning, then your card is well and truly marked, and this could just be a case of going through the motions because they cant give you the elbow on the spot.
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However, unless she has committed gross misconduct (unlikely) there is no reason why this situation isn't recoverable. She's been employed 5 years, a disciplinary procedure resulting in dismissal is very unlikely.
 
ChrisJSY said:
There's being professional and there's being passive aggressive by knowing exactly what you're doing and completely allowing the other party to try and fix it with little option other than to call you out, while you just sit there like a complete **** while looking calm all along.

I've worked with loads of people like this, they're complete idiots, they'll do anything to abuse their position in and will argue in the face of logic and facts but when it comes to someone getting tired of them and trying to do something about it, they just stay silent and smug about it because there isn't a tactful way about telling HR "This person is a complete idiot, help".

That's not to say this happened at all here, but it happens.
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I would agree with you that there are some right little so and so's who make life difficult for others however, the OP has stated in the first post that some of the problems are:
Hating his voice
Has cut out all pleasantries - ignoring him in effect
The other office members have noticed - that's means it's overt and causing an atmosphere and disruption in the work environment
Jim said he feels ignored - I'm not surprised, he was being ignored!

For Jim, it doesn't sound like the actions of a vindicative person - Jim is already the boss in what sounds like a small company.

This sounds like the OP being an absolute nightmare to work with and the company are taking the rope the OP has used to hang themselves with (the email) and may be about to run with it.
 
Jesus, Moses, Mohammad Christ!!!

OP, are you ****ing kidding me? Dude, do your ****ing work, leave at 530pm and after 25 days you get your ****ing money..

Who gives a flying **** if your manager is ugly, voice is stupid...etc.............

Dude, its all about money, work - get the **** out - money
 
trixilux said:
I brought up the pay issue because its another factor to my feelings and attitude. I found out that the guy employed recently to our team (of 3 now inc him) has been hired with a higher salary and more holidays, yet he has no experience in Systems Testing (same as me) and no IT qualifications (I haven't either) and has no experience in working in our sector...but they have chosen to pay him more
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That is your view and you may be very wrong about him but I bet if they laid both your CVs side by side you would see why and you wouldn't win a fight.
Lets just say I know because I'm the 'other bloke'.

trixilux said:
he makes my skin crawl and makes my stomach heave.
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I have worked with 100s of women who I have heard say this about men and it's only for one reason which is the man is a sexual lech or similar.
I can't think of any other context why you would say this about a male colleague unless he picks his nose and eats his crows.
There is obviously a back story you're not telling and I reckon it's because of the above.
 
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