The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

No1newts · 16 Dec 2012 at 22:33

Get well away from it Fuzz. I dated a looney toon for a while and it was the best thing I ever did getting rid. YOu wont ever find happiness in the long term, perhaps moments of happiness but because of all the issues surrounding it there will be too much stress and worry going on which will stop you enjoying life.

Get away mate, it is the best thing you can do.

Scythian · 16 Dec 2012 at 23:09

Fuzz said:
Why can't anything meaningful in life be simple.

Because nothing that's worthwhile comes easy

Diesel · 16 Dec 2012 at 23:47

I never thought I would see myself in this thread.

My wife left me earlier after 18 months of marriage. Apparently she doesn't love me any more and hasn't for a few months. I knew she was having some issues with depression but it turns out she was depressed because she was married to me.

My feelings to her have never changed, she's my world and I just can't imagine life without her. I'm absolutely crushed.

Expect to be hearing a lot from me over the coming weeks/months.

Fuzz · 16 Dec 2012 at 23:55

What's wrong with these women

How long were you together before marrying Diesel, if you don't mind me asking

Diesel · 16 Dec 2012 at 23:58

10 and a bit years. Had a house and mortgage over 4.

Would you believe it was her who wanted to tie the knot?

CaptainRAVE · 17 Dec 2012 at 00:01

That is rough

knip · 17 Dec 2012 at 00:08

Diesel said:
10 and a bit years. Had a house and mortgage over 4.

Would you believe it was her who wanted to tie the knot?

Sometimes women want to do things to see if it can fix a relationship i.e. get married. Not that it makes it ok. It's amazing how many women magically end up pregnant once they get a sniff their man might be off.

And yes, I say this as a fellow woman, we can be sneaky things. (Not all of us I might add)

Nuttah · 17 Dec 2012 at 02:53

Diesel said:
I never thought I would see myself in this thread.

My wife left me earlier after 18 months of marriage. Apparently she doesn't love me any more and hasn't for a few months. I knew she was having some issues with depression but it turns out she was depressed because she was married to me.

My feelings to her have never changed, she's my world and I just can't imagine life without her. I'm absolutely crushed.

Expect to be hearing a lot from me over the coming weeks/months.

Sounds harsh, having broken up from an 8-year relationship just a few months ago I can imagine how you feel. I can't lie, it's **** and it's going to be hard - very hard. However, whereas in the days and weeks after it happened I was struggling to imagine life without her, now (10 weeks down the line), I am beginning to see things a little more positive.

Have a good cry, go on a good bender (not at the same time!). Don't bottle things up, share what you're feeling (on here if need be), it helps.

Diesel · 17 Dec 2012 at 16:31

Do you guys think its worth asking her to go to relationship counseling with me? Its not like we can get divorced straight away and we've got to see each other at some point to sort stuff out.

KaHn · 17 Dec 2012 at 16:39

Diesel said:
Do you guys think its worth asking her to go to relationship counseling with me? Its not like we can get divorced straight away and we've got to see each other at some point to sort stuff out.

If shes felt like this for a few months then don't be surprised that there "may" be someone else, women generally don't jump ship without a back up plan.

KaHn

DiscoDave · 17 Dec 2012 at 16:39

Diesel said:
Do you guys think its worth asking her to go to relationship counseling with me? Its not like we can get divorced straight away and we've got to see each other at some point to sort stuff out.

Tough one. If she's lost those feelings for you and hasn't been happy for months do you really think it can be salvaged from counselling?

I feel sorry for you though dude, can't be easy going through what you are.

CosmicClown · 17 Dec 2012 at 16:51

KaHn said:
If shes felt like this for a few months then don't be surprised that there "may" be someone else, women generally don't jump ship without a back up plan.

KaHn

This this and this again. Think she may have grass is greener syndrome.

Diesel · 17 Dec 2012 at 17:01

KaHn said:
If shes felt like this for a few months then don't be surprised that there "may" be someone else, women generally don't jump ship without a back up plan.

KaHn

I truly believe there isn't. But I get what you are saying, as for counselling she said her feelings might change if we are apart for a bit so I might ask her with no pressure attached.

KaHn · 17 Dec 2012 at 17:07

Diesel said:
I truly believe there isn't. But I get what you are saying, as for counselling she said her feelings might change if we are apart for a bit so I might ask her with no pressure attached.

I hope I'm wrong mate, just very cynical when it comes to girls, I'd say **** it and just go on holiday or do something totally out of character, show her that you just don't care.

KaHn

Voltar · 17 Dec 2012 at 17:21

Thought I was on to something good, but turns out she's not ready and was dumped a few days before she met me. Oh well.

Broken Hope · 17 Dec 2012 at 17:47

Scythian said:
Because nothing that's worthwhile comes easy

On the other hand having those sorts of issues only 3 months into a relationship would be a massive warning sign for me and I'd be gone.

Yes relationships take work to maintain etc, but 3 months in you're supposed to be all loved up etc, not battling baggage and mental issues.

Narj · 17 Dec 2012 at 17:52

Crikey some of these recent posts are making me much more thankful for my uncomplicated life. :eek:

BRB joining a monastery away in the mountains.

The__Malteser · 17 Dec 2012 at 20:17

Diesel said:
I never thought I would see myself in this thread.

My wife left me earlier after 18 months of marriage. Apparently she doesn't love me any more and hasn't for a few months. I knew she was having some issues with depression but it turns out she was depressed because she was married to me.

My feelings to her have never changed, she's my world and I just can't imagine life without her. I'm absolutely crushed.

Expect to be hearing a lot from me over the coming weeks/months.

Diesel said:
10 and a bit years. Had a house and mortgage over 4.

Would you believe it was her who wanted to tie the knot?

Ouch dude, thats harsh! I really don't know what to tell you :confused:

11/12 years together ain't a joke.

I would probably give her some space, at least for a week, then speak to her about it. I feel really sorry for you

UncleRuckus · 17 Dec 2012 at 20:43

Diesel said:
I truly believe there isn't. But I get what you are saying, as for counselling she said her feelings might change if we are apart for a bit so I might ask her with no pressure attached.

The cynic in me says she's keeping here options open while she's getting it from somewhere else, I hope i'm wrong though!

mrk · 17 Dec 2012 at 21:04

Narj said:
Crikey some of these recent posts are making me much more thankful for my uncomplicated life. BRB joining a monastery away in the mountains.

Tell me about it!

To be honest sometimes I miss that connection even though I'm perfectly happy with the way things are right now, if that makes sense? Makes me just want to have a long chat with someone to get it all out and done with but where to begin...?! I've always found talking to people has helped with other issues in the past but this is a little more long winded