Life used to be simple; but now I've Scottished myself.

pepp77 · 13 Feb 2013 at 12:40

I think my niece will win this.

Mother is English, father is South African via Italy and she was born and raised in Ireland.

So technically she is half English about 40% SA and 10% Italian but talks with a broad Irish accent.

Pestilence · 13 Feb 2013 at 12:44

Now you have to batter and deep fry every single item of every meal you have. Enjoy.

jsmoke · 13 Feb 2013 at 12:47

You'll also need to develop a superiority complex and start to hate anything and everything.

Edrof · 13 Feb 2013 at 13:23

jsmoke said:
You'll also need to develop a superiority complex and start to hate anything and everything.

Typical response from an Englishman.

lordhughes said:
What are you going to do when that quarter of you wants independence from the or three quarters?

This is a problem!

rgzcampbell said:
Try reading the whole thread first.

Thanks.

Devrij · 13 Feb 2013 at 13:44

Edrof said:
Should I begin wrapping the clan McAlpine tartan around my caber before tossing?

I'm not sure if you can get your family tartan put on a condom. Just use a tissue anyway.

Think of it this way: You may not be 100% English now, you have levelled up to 100% British. Clearly superior and harks back to our glory days, rather than the current englishman

chriscubed · 13 Feb 2013 at 13:51

Athanor said:
LOL.... I've met so many American that fit this description, I believe the phrase in a open and respectful non racist sort of way is "plastic Paddys".

There are 6.4 million Irishmen alive today. 36 million of them live in America.

Jason2 · 13 Feb 2013 at 13:54

Congratulations, you can now wear a skirt without so much as a second glance. Enjoy.

Hades · 13 Feb 2013 at 14:04

I found out I'm ginger the other day. I was devastated

Muban · 13 Feb 2013 at 14:22

You can now wear a kilt to weddings and other events...... the ladies love it*

*though you need to be a bit tasty already for this effect

No1newts · 13 Feb 2013 at 14:39

Feek said:
Born in England?

Then you're English.

Unless you're an American who has a great-great-great-great-great-grandparent who once met an Irishman. Then you can claim you're Irish.

Improve your bitterness skills Edort as a starter. Drink more whiskey. Drink more Irn Bru. Deep fry all your food and listen to Biffy Clyro. Sorted.

Generalisations!!! Wheeeeeeee!!!

Edrof · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:01

Devrij said:
Think of it this way: You may not be 100% English now, you have levelled up to 100% British. Clearly superior and harks back to our glory days, rather than the current englishman

That's a great way of looking at it!

Scuzi · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:03

You are now 25% more susceptible to heart disease and unemployment.

Cosimo · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:03

Hades said:
I found out I'm ginger the other day. I was devastated

How did your parents keep it a secret for so long?

smelly_legend · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:05

Edrof said:
And when it comes to sport, is it Rangers or Celtic that I cheer on when one of them slam dunks a goal into the try line to score that last quarter four-point home run?

You ain't a true Scot unless you support a football team that is properlly rubbish, like Spartans http://www.spartansfc.com/

King Damager · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:15

By blood:
Half Scottish, Half English

Born in Scotland.

An extra team to support in the six nations (nothing like a losing side), whiskey, a love of the 'alternative' Scottish flag, haggis, being from 'ooop norf' without having to actually be from up north - therefore you can mock northerners, being able to go commando with plenty of justification. Irn bru is awesome, as is deep frying stuff, particularly chicken.

Oh, and being able to wear a tartan mini skirt with reason. Wait what?!

kd

Swarfega · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:24

Feek said:
Unless you're an American who has a great-great-great-great-great-grandparent who once met an Irishman. Then you can claim you're Irish.

jakspyder · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:26

Born in England. English mother, Irish father. Lived in Scotland all my life.

Guess I'm... British

Skidder · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:33

Scuzi said:
You are now 25% more susceptible to heart disease and unemployment.

That's a good point, do you get signed on automatically when you realise you are Scottish? Also, you are now a heroine addict.

233 · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:39

pfft your not Scottish until you deep fry at least 50% of your diet and have a heart attack before your 30

D.P. · 13 Feb 2013 at 17:40

Feek said:
Born in England?

Then you're English.

Unless you're an American who has a great-great-great-great-great-grandparent who once met an Irishman. Then you can claim you're Irish.

It really annoys em when Americans do this. If its not Irish its Italian. According to Americans there is no such thing as an American, per se, you are either American-Irish or American-Italian, or latino.