The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Hey all,

I don't post much but need some boosting of myself after what I'm going through this evening. Currently sitting in AnE cause the issues have gotten psychological now to the point where I've accepted I need help :(

Cut a long story short, 6 years ago I started dating this girl who was fantastic but I wasn't in the right head space after going through a really abusive relationship before so we split. Fast forward 5 years and we get back together in a friends with benefits situation (bad move but it worked!). We carried that on over the past year and then we developed feelings, her first after 6 months which I could recipocate cause I didn't feel them. A month ago though I did get those feelings so we decided to have a crack.

In that year shed gone through Anemia, gynecological problems around her contraceptive coil which was removed two weeks ago and ever since she's been a very distant person and pushed me away from her. She asked me. To give her personal space and that wanted her friend back so I stepped back even though it killed me :(

Fast forward to yesterday, after waiting two weeks, I'd had enough and basically said look I don't want this anymore as its too painful to deal with, so for my own sanity I'm stopping the relationship plus the friendship and since then all hell has broken loose! In a 6 hour period 40 texts and 15 calls which is a bit excessive but I just didn't want to talk about it any longer.

So today we speak, bear in mind that I'm suffering anxiety/panic attacks, detachment, depression etc after what has happened with being pushed away and we decide to try again (lucky number 3?). We spoke and she was going out all night, hey that's cool I did last night but not once have I received any kind of text, where normally we would, and when she did text it was I'll reply when I want. Col, okay play it like that.

The reason why I'm in AnE is to help me sleep and get some kind of normality back but that's a tough cookie to crack. She says she loves me and is in love with me but somebody who feels that wouldn't, in my book, push the loved one away. Now I'm at the point of continually cycling through anger, numbness, crying hysterically and acceptance.

I feel like I've been played for a mug and had mind games played on me to stay around but then why keep bringing the love element back into it? She can only say it by text rather than in person cause she doesn't 'vocalise', well.

This thing is a complete and utter mess and I'm at a loss whether just to continue with it to see whether I get better (I hope) and she realises that or just sack it off. The latter has its advantages cause I know where I stand. What a mess.... :'(
 
I totally agree and I have that sorted for Monday but until then I'm at the mercy of my mind as I don't have control cause it's been worn down.

In the same situation, even with me getting help, what would you do? Stay or go?
 
My three year relationship just ended with my partner, it was a joint decision on both ends - Both are still hurting from it, probably for the best and a few nights back I spent some quality time with the family which was a real helper along with friends. Still love her to bits and the cliché of it all is if I met her 5 years down the line things would be different but eh well! We must live and learn.
 
My girlfriend ended things with me the other day. Tried putting a brave face on towards friends but I'm truly devastated. So upset and angry with myself. I love her but I ruined it.
 
Ahleckz said:
My girlfriend ended things with me the other day. Tried putting a brave face on towards friends but I'm truly devastated. So upset and angry with myself. I love her but I ruined it.
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I'm really sorry to hear that Ahleckz, things seemed to be going well for you in general.
 
Praetorian said:
In the same situation, even with me getting help, what would you do? Stay or go?
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Sounds to me like the only logical answer is 'go' (although when does logic come into relationships?!). If she can't be open with you about what's going on then it's only going to cause you more pain.
 
Cheers R.P.L and Magnolia. She confirmed to me on Sunday night, via text not a call or anything, that she never wanted the relationship, support or friendship in the first place so kept me hanging along on a string after all this time :(

Time to get myself back together, learn the lessons of this one and get back to having fun
 
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Liquiduk said:
My three year relationship just ended with my partner, it was a joint decision on both ends - Both are still hurting from it, probably for the best and a few nights back I spent some quality time with the family which was a real helper along with friends. Still love her to bits and the cliché of it all is if I met her 5 years down the line things would be different but eh well! We must live and learn.
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I feel ya. I was in the same boat a few months ago when my 8 year relationship came to end.

** Big e-hugz to all those who require them **

Remember guys, you need to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. Go and concentrate on yourselves for a while it'll all be alright in the end :)
 
Praetorian said:
Cheers R.P.L and Magnolia. She confirmed to me on Sunday night, via text not a call or anything, that she never wanted the relationship, support or friendship in the first place so kept me hanging along on a string after all this time :(

Time to get myself back together, learn the lessons of this one and get back to having fun
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Sorry to hear that mate, but at least now you know! Sounds like you know that you need to sort yourself out now, so I hope that goes well :)
 
NathWraith said:
my ex gf rang me up on valentines day saying she had split with her new bf.

She declared her love for me and said the last 6 months that we have been apart were so messed up and that she wanted me back to make her happy.

I said I don't feel the same.

The dark side of me found this hilarious.
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please say you replied "sorry, which one were you?"
 
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