Divorce Proceedings - Financial Settlements

Castiel said:
Not always. It depends on the circumstances of each individual case. A friend of mine for example got everything because he had custody of the children, another had a 60-40 split in his favour due to his previous assets etc...a court doesn't care whether you are a man or woman, just that the settlement is fair.
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Lettuce be reality my good sir,

Generally it'll be the man getting shafted, in most cases he'll lose kids and then have to pay for them and fight for visitation rights if he had a manipulative wife.
 
CREATIVE!11 said:
Lettuce be reality my good sir,

Generally it'll be the man getting shafted, in most cases he'll lose kids and then have to pay for them and fight for visitation rights if he had a manipulative wife.
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Thus illustrating the need for good legal representation.

The truth is however that the vast majority of divorces are not so one sided. It's normally the case that the court would have good reason for denying visitation and so on and as far as settlements are considered, half the time it's the mans fault for not taking it all seriously enough in the first place and assuming it'll all sort itself out.
 
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Have just seen some posts on here about Court ensuring that separation is fair. Which court is this and where please as I need to have my hearings relisted at it!

Courts in my experience are NOT fair. As stated I've shelled out 20k vs 0.00p and the Courtby default (one judge even agreeing it was financial abuse!) Still was happy for me to pay life insurance for the ex, plus other expenditure on her behalf... how is that fair? Its simply isn't.

I would seriously like to know the name of this fair Court, it cant be on in England thats for certain!

A former boss of mine got the biggest shafting of his life (his words) his divorce decided he would get 5k out of a 70+k house AND had to pay ex solicitor fees! He walked from Court with just 2.5k. Ive read countless similiar situations too some involving fraud by the courts to the tune of hundreds of thousands of pounds all because of this "fairness" illusion.
 
Castiel said:
Thus illustrating the need for good legal representation.

The truth is however that the vast majority of divorces are not so one sided. It's normally the case that the court would have good reason for denying visitation and so on and as far as settlements are considered, half the time it's the mans fault for not taking it all seriously enough in the first place and assuming it'll all sort itself out.
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Wrong unfortunately Castiel. Courts can stop visitation based on a whim. Most cases have parents considering their children and them having a meaningful relationship with a non resident parent BUT there is a silent and suppressed epidemic of bitter vindictive women using children as a whipping stick. Lots of women use the DV as a card, even with no evidence the very mention of it and males automatically walk in guilty and have to prove their innocence and because it is word vs word they go off the probability that it did happen.

Have a look for contact deniers on google, its the F4J one.

It took me 6 hearings over 8months to have contact after 10months and thats with no safeguarding issues and even now 3yrs on problems still present with a "legally binding" order. It can still be broken any time she chooses with no risk of any action being taken!
 
RaohNS said:
Wrong unfortunately Castiel
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Its not wrong, as you actually state its not wrong in that very same post...but I understand that people on the wrong end of judgements can feel that way, and you can always appeal any decision as well as counter any vindictiveness of the other party through ensuring you have good, competent representation of your own.

Your experience biases your objectivity, which is understandable, but I know examples of where the mother was found unsuitable and custody given to the father, and likewise the opposite. It isn't only women who use their children as weapons I'm afraid and like anything nothing is perfect.
 
I'll caveat this by saying I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if someone has already answered your question.

In summary:

- Yes, it is standard practice to exchange financial disclosure - this can be by letter, asset schedule with supporting documents or a voluntary Form E (these are available from HMCTS website)
- Your spouse can waive the disclosure requirement by telling her lawyer she's satisfied that she knows what the assets are, and what you've agreed.

Good luck with it all.
 
CREATIVE!11 said:
Moral of story kids?

Don't believe the hype in needing the government to ratify your relationship, don't do it so you don't have to be in OP's circumstance playing financial ransom with a girl.

What does marriage achieve ask yourself this? Peoples emotions (men and woman) are like the god-damned weather and completely unpredictable...

Sorry OP had to throw that in to anyone reading, good luck with your stuff I can't really offer any help other than try keep it amicable and avoid lawyers but it looks like that is already too late.
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I think you're pretty much screwed even if you don't get married?
 
Sorry for the OP. However please be warned two of my close friends went through this recently. Each of their wife's were reasonable at first with their demands. Essentially they then started chatting to friends and solicitors. Expect some unbelievable demands to come through over the next couple of months for cash.

Get a solicitor fast. Be careful of any texts and emails you send. Also watch out for leading phone calls.
 
OP,

I'm going through exactly the same thing at the moment, wife and myself were together 8 years before we married 9 months later and she's leaving. As neither of us has cheated and it cant be annulled, were left with a 2 year wait, for divorce by separation. The most important piece of paper you will need to file for is a clean break agreement, however you cant file for this until you start divorce proceedings EG 2 years down the line. So in the meantime I filled for a separation agreement, this lists everything that you and her take out of the relationship. We are on speaking terms and this was a relatively painless process. Although this is still not 100% binding its better then nothing and the court must take it into consideration when you file for the clean break and final divorce in 2 years time, good luck with it all
 
Castiel said:
Get a Solicitor because you are about to get royally screwed. If this was going to be amicably settled between the two of you then neither of you would need a solicitor, the fact that she has one means that you NEED one.
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I'd agree with this.

I was quite lucky, when I got divorced neither of us used a solicitor, we filled out all the forms for the divorce ourselves, amicably agreed all the terms (both financial terms and also child access terms). Filled it in, and hey presto, 5 weeks later, divorce all done, nice and amicable. Not a penny spent on any solicitor :)
 
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Dolly said:
I'll caveat this by saying I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if someone has already answered your question.

In summary:

- Yes, it is standard practice to exchange financial disclosure - this can be by letter, asset schedule with supporting documents or a voluntary Form E (these are available from HMCTS website)
- Your spouse can waive the disclosure requirement by telling her lawyer she's satisfied that she knows what the assets are, and what you've agreed.

Good luck with it all.
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Again, thanks for clarification,

Just for the sake of completeness to help anyone in the future I intend on keeping this thread updated (pending it all going ***'s up and not clashing with the law...)

Once it's all been settled I might type up my "complete" experience, as online forums are usually written by women on this subject

Finally, I've received financial advice, as my wife already knows my EXACT financial footing, financial disclosure is kind of a moot point. So I'm going to send the documents, it's now about awaiting their opening offer and seeing where we will go from there.

I *really* appreciate the kind words in this thread :)
 
I was in almost exactly the same situation. Divorce with no kids, and as we had been renting and I left her with all the chattels in the property no assets. She lawyered up and was trying to say that I should pay ongoing maintenance.
I took all our financials and found a specialist that was recommended by a couple of different people in our local area. 1 hour of billed time later I knew what I could and couldn't say.
1 letter to her lawyer saying thanks but I won't be taking part in this and one meeting with the mediation lawyer her first lawyer then arranged at which meeting I also just turned up and said No and it all went away.

tl;dr you might not need one all the way through but go find a GOOD and RECOMMENDED lawyer who knows exactly what the steps are to make sure you are protected.
You probably just need to fill out the forms from the court as someone said above... but make sure - and make sure that doing so does not prejudice your case should things later turn nasty.
 
I got a m8 who was stung for a 250k+ I don't know all the details but his ant died recently and left him a house and a lump sum. The gold digger ex-wife is now trying to get her share.
 
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