Divorce Proceedings - Financial Settlements
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For those of us unmarried and without kids these threads are ever so interesting, scary and informative.
Good luck op, hopefully it goes as well as it can and will definitely be reading the write up
With divorce rates so high really does make you think is that word and a piece of paper worth all that?
Good luck op, hopefully it goes as well as it can and will definitely be reading the write up
With divorce rates so high really does make you think is that word and a piece of paper worth all that?
This, in spades, redoubled.
The legal system is adversarial. x versus y. She's moved the divorce from mutual agreement to conflict and she's armed.
You need to do the same or else you're going to be turning up to a duel in which you have a cup of tea and your opponent has a gun. It won't end well.
Best case scenario now is that your solicitor is better than hers (to overcome the sexism in the legal system - she starts with an advantage for being female) and you both end up somewhat worse off than you would have been with an amicable settlement by mutual agreement (due to both of you paying legal fees).
The idea of what constitutes "fair" is dependent on the society in which the court exists. So an obligation to produce a judgement that is fair is simply an obligation to produce a judgement in line with the society at that time and place. It isn't an objective term. It will include whatever prejudices are normal in that time and place, although not necessarily to the same extent.
Threads like these put me off marriage
yep.
i honestly don't think i could handle all the crap associated with a divorce and im impressed by those than can. It just becomes a land grab sponsored by parasitic middlemen.
And the point that 'fairness' is subjective to the prevailing societal acceptance of what constitutes 'fairness' is relevant how? (In fact 'fairness is entirely subjective to the individual, what some consider a fair judgement, others would not regardless of what society might indicate, which is why there are checks and balances in the legal process which that link references)
In the context of what was being discussed within the framework of family law what you have said seems utterly redundant.
Soldato
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Get a solicitor but expect it to cost quite a bit. I started with one but my ex had more money and the backing of her family business legal representation. I quickly ran out of money as the bills can go into several thousands quickly.
I gave up in the end so she got all the house, the cars (both), our savings (about 3k) and everything in the joint account. She had run off with the neighbour so it was so nice seeing him drive around in my 5 year old Mazda when I had to buy a 900 quid Nissan Primera.
I got stuffed with all the debts (about 4k), was left homeless and broke.
I will NEVER get married again.
I gave up in the end so she got all the house, the cars (both), our savings (about 3k) and everything in the joint account. She had run off with the neighbour so it was so nice seeing him drive around in my 5 year old Mazda when I had to buy a 900 quid Nissan Primera.
I got stuffed with all the debts (about 4k), was left homeless and broke.
I will NEVER get married again.
Call me naive, but how is this actually a possible outcome, except in the case where she was the sole wage earner and you provided no value to the relationship except to run up debt? I'm genuinely curious - inequitable split is one thing, but to leave you by all accounts bankrupt..?
Associate
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This is your daily reminder never to get married.
Please don't be offfended mate but there HAS to be more to the story than this! As it stands it suggests the whole thing is a game of top trumps, if her legal team is better than yours, she gets everything.
I think in general its kids that skew the whole divorce deal, without them you can fight for a "fair" split of the assets and debt. If you have them then the whole deal is about them and there future.
Where most people go wrong is that they think that the divorce courts care about the reason for your separation, that they will bring some justice to whoever did the dirty. They don't do that at all.
FYI, in my divorce we separated amicable, had to appoint one solicitor to make sure all the paperwork was done properly, the judge refused the deal we had agreed 3 times until it was adjusted to the point where she got the house. We had one child.
She moved somebody else in the next week, a year later sold the house and wee'd the money up the wall on renting a massive house on the coast. Only 4 more years of maintenance to go
Where most people go wrong is that they think that the divorce courts care about the reason for your separation, that they will bring some justice to whoever did the dirty. They don't do that at all.
FYI, in my divorce we separated amicable, had to appoint one solicitor to make sure all the paperwork was done properly, the judge refused the deal we had agreed 3 times until it was adjusted to the point where she got the house. We had one child.
She moved somebody else in the next week, a year later sold the house and wee'd the money up the wall on renting a massive house on the coast. Only 4 more years of maintenance to go
Soldato
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Firstly, get a solicitor and quickly.
Secondly do not, in any way, contact your wife unless via the medium of a solicitor (either written correspondence or face to face with solicitors as witnesses, and in these circumstances let your solicitor do the talking where possible).
Do not send her texts or reply to texts she sends you. Do not make calls, or answer calls from her or her solicitors. Do not use facebook. Do not go telling tales to friends or family. Keep stum.
Refer all correspondence to your solicitor to let them deal with it through the correct channels.
At all times remain polite and in control of your emotions. Do not answer any questions or provide any information unless through your solicitor.
My 2p.
Good luck
Secondly do not, in any way, contact your wife unless via the medium of a solicitor (either written correspondence or face to face with solicitors as witnesses, and in these circumstances let your solicitor do the talking where possible).
Do not send her texts or reply to texts she sends you. Do not make calls, or answer calls from her or her solicitors. Do not use facebook. Do not go telling tales to friends or family. Keep stum.
Refer all correspondence to your solicitor to let them deal with it through the correct channels.
At all times remain polite and in control of your emotions. Do not answer any questions or provide any information unless through your solicitor.
My 2p.
Good luck
FYI, in my divorce we separated amicable, had to appoint one solicitor to make sure all the paperwork was done properly, the judge refused the deal we had agreed 3 times until it was adjusted to the point where she got the house. We had one child.
She moved somebody else in the next week, a year later sold the house and wee'd the money up the wall on renting a massive house on the coast. Only 4 more years of maintenance to go
Its when I read stuff like this, that I am so relieved that my divorce went so smoothly.
We had been together for quite a while and the fault was entirely mine, I cheated on her. We had one child together. We agreed that neither of us was happy and hadn't been for a while and split, we got hold of the divorce paperwork, filled them in ourselves, dealt with the courts ourselves and the divorce all went through and was accepted first time, 5 weeks later. We didn't use any solicitors and so the entire process only cost us a few hundred. I let her keep the family home, she agreed to give me a lump sum via mortgaging (50k) to "buy" out my stake in the home and the divorce agreement was that I would not have any set maintenance payments. In all the years since, we have remained amicable and I see my kid whenever I want.
I have read some horror stories and I know that I could have ended up a lot worse off.
Soldato
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I think in general its kids that skew the whole divorce deal, without them you can fight for a "fair" split of the assets and debt. If you have them then the whole deal is about them and there future.
Where most people go wrong is that they think that the divorce courts care about the reason for your separation, that they will bring some justice to whoever did the dirty. They don't do that at all.
FYI, in my divorce we separated amicable, had to appoint one solicitor to make sure all the paperwork was done properly, the judge refused the deal we had agreed 3 times until it was adjusted to the point where she got the house. We had one child.
She moved somebody else in the next week, a year later sold the house and wee'd the money up the wall on renting a massive house on the coast. Only 4 more years of maintenance to go
Yep, heard this all before.
The pendulum of feminism has swung too far now, woman hold all the power and decide what they want out of something and get it. Look at men grovelling at woman's feet on dates shelling out tons of cash for vain hope of getting laid... funny thing is more you are a doormat less likely you are to get laid. The great paradox of our time.
Courts favour the woman more in probably most circumstances. I have heard so many stories and they all follow a similar pattern, woman cheats or something gets kids gets house guy is out on his ass....
In fact I know of 2 people in PERSON who have had this very thing happen to them...
In case the OP hasnt got it yet- Dont give her solicitor anything, get your own solicitor and get her request for settlement in writing from her side.
If she has asked for a certain amount and is happy with that, everything else is irrelevant, but it needs to be written down and approved in court.
Without the court closing it, she can keep coming back.
If she has asked for a certain amount and is happy with that, everything else is irrelevant, but it needs to be written down and approved in court.
Without the court closing it, she can keep coming back.
Soldato
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No your not naive, I was very. She worked and was the higher wager earner. I had more own business but it was really in it's infancy.
The Credit cards and loan were in my name, although we both had cards. Both the cars were registered to her as she was insured under her fathers business and that is how he liked it.
The house was originally mine in a sole mortgage, but her father bought into it for her with a lump sum. That meant we jointly re-mortgaged it at a lower sum with with effectively her putting in more money than me.
When the mortgage was done they insisted on it being worked so if we split up she got to stay in the house as we had a child then. I will get a percentage if she either sells the property or when my son reaches the age of 18 or leaves full time education. She had paid more into the mortgage too.
As my business and health started to fail a few years later they pressed me to give up my share in case I went bankrupt. I did it for my son not her.
She soon split with the neighbour after this and sold the house and moved away.
And yes I did end up bankrupt but that was more to do with my failed business.