The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Female, Not an ex and never been there
I don't care that shes in her life i care that shes going out her way to try put a problem were there isn't one to be had and my girlfriends stupid enough to let it happen
It isn't ideal but she won't ignore her unfortunatley
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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Spend time with someone who wants to be with you. Unless you need ~! DRAMA !~ in your life, it may just be easier to meet a normal person who won't mess you about after only four months of a non-relationship with someone who you both know in differing ways.
Unless you're a scriptwriter for Hollyoaks in which case my advice is null and void.
Soldato
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Imo, its all downhill from here. If she can't stand her ground in a relationship after 4 months, it will be worse later on (family etc.)
Caporegime
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I'm going to have to add myself to the list guys.
After a year of couples counselling, and with much sadness I have had to end our relationship as well. My own fault mainly for only realising in the last year that I categorically do not want any children, something I had been pretty ambivalent towards in my youngers years as it always seemed to be some far-future concept rather than reality.
I do care for her, but for all the compromises relationships can involve, I don't think having/not having kids isn't one of them. You both have to be on the same page for that to work.
We are dealing with it slowly. no need to rush anything as we haven't fallen out, but it's still a very sad time.
Ah, missed this post.
Yeah, that's a page that you either have to be on or at least willing to read otherwise it's probably not going to work.
Chin up, sir.
My thoughts are of this, She has no backbone now i fear she will get walked all over and i cannot always fight her battles for her i don't have the time or patience with her stupid friends
See, this is why broke up with her now, I could never go in to marriage knowing she wanted them and I didn't, which in the long run has probably spared us a divorce, kids or no kids.
Part and parcel because society says so? I'm fully aware that the chances of me meeting the girls of my dreams (which include the no kids aspect) is even less than most people, but after YEARS of soul-searching (I was ambivalent to the idea of kids for most of my 20s), I realised that it just isn't something I want.
I don't feel I need kids to ensure that someone loves me in the future in case relationships don't work out, and it's not like having kids guarantees that you will always get on. Life isn't like the movies for everyone.
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I wasn't having a go, I can only go from my own experience, you've obviously thought long and hard about all of this and come to your conclusion.
And in a way I admire you for having the courage to end a relationship based on that decision, I know of plenty of relationships that could and should have had the same attitude exercised.
Sorry, I know, I've just had it in the neck from the "you'll change your mind" brigade. They just assume that everyone is maternal/paternal, when it isn't the case, and people choosing not to have kids is becoming more common.
I think for people that have kids or would like kids in the future, like myself, it's quite hard to get to grips with the concept of not wanting them. As it's driven by biological urges, it's quite a bold statement. However, I know of a number of people, like yourself, that are perfectly happy without children. I think if you know what you want and are certain of it, then all respect to you.
Well nowadays it's more a combination of biological urges and societal conditioning.
In our less developed stages, our existance was to keep the species going. Now we are more aware of things, and can choose to do what we want with our lives.
And to be honest, part of me doesn't have a huge amount of hope for the world in general, I think things will be okish for the remainder of my lifetime, but beyond that things look a bit ominous.
Soldato
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I think it's a bit to definitive to say that you will never have children. I can not imagine myself having kids either soon or in the future but I can't say I'm never going to have them . People change, whether they want to admit it or not.
And I was in your position during most of my 20s, but now that 30s have come round, along with a combo-blow of lady biological clocks and general societal pressures, I struggle to see myself ever wanting them. None of the positives that parents roll out appeal to me in any way, and certainly not at the cost of the definite negatives that come along with them.
Same here. Turned 50, married 27 years and not once have I/we wanted kids.
Associate
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Really sorry to hear how things turned out Krooton, I remember from the dating thread when you first met and how happy you both were.
I don't want children and thankfully I met someone who feels exactly the same way, and most people find it odd how we don't like them, and avoid them whenever possible! Just don't understand the desire to have them, at all.
A friend of my GFs got married the other year, and neither of them had discussed having kids beforehand. He then turned round saying he wanted some, but she has never wanted any. Crazyness never to have talked about it before getting married, but it's causing lots of arguments now.
I hope things work out ok and you meet someone who wants what you want.
I don't want children and thankfully I met someone who feels exactly the same way, and most people find it odd how we don't like them, and avoid them whenever possible! Just don't understand the desire to have them, at all.
A friend of my GFs got married the other year, and neither of them had discussed having kids beforehand. He then turned round saying he wanted some, but she has never wanted any. Crazyness never to have talked about it before getting married, but it's causing lots of arguments now.
I hope things work out ok and you meet someone who wants what you want.
Wow, that is bizarre going in to marriage without discussing life goals and expectations!
Thanks for the kind words, it's her I feel more for as this has really been hard for her.