I thought i would never make a thread like this

How do you pick up the motivation to stop thinking about someone you love though? My relationship wasn't 7 years but it's bren long enough to fall in love and feel hurt :( my friends are all older than me and have not much spare time so I feel very cornered and alone :(
 
If she was being abusive then it was never meant to be. It's always hard trying to find something positive in situations like this but there is always someone better round the corner. Hope it all work out for you.
 
Cosmic182 said:
How do you pick up the motivation to stop thinking about someone you love though? My relationship wasn't 7 years but it's bren long enough to fall in love and feel hurt :( my friends are all older than me and have not much spare time so I feel very cornered and alone :(
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Join some clubs, jump into activities you enjoy but haven't given much time to before, avoid drinking alone, treat yourself to something you've wanted to buy for awhile, try and learn a new skill, take a class, volunteer at a local garden - moping around by yourself sucks, so do something :) You won't be able to make yourself stop thinking about someone, but you can force yourself to have less time to focus on it.
 
Cosmic182 said:
How do you pick up the motivation to stop thinking about someone you love though? My relationship wasn't 7 years but it's bren long enough to fall in love and feel hurt :( my friends are all older than me and have not much spare time so I feel very cornered and alone :(
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It's just time mate, it takes time.

Try and take your mind off it, do something, go for a run, go to the gym, play games etc etc. Plenty of things to do.

In 6 months you won't feel the same way you do now, hell, in a week you won't feel anywhere near as bad. In time, you won't give a single **** about her.
 
Don't want to sound nasty here, but you need to man up. I can understand the feelings you may have, but if you were this sulky around her, then there's the reason she probably left you.

Everything happens for a reason, give it time, I'm sure you'll find someone else soon.
 
rossk26 said:
Don't want to sound nasty here, but you need to man up. I can understand the feelings you may have, but if you were this sulky around her, then there's the reason she probably left you.

Everything happens for a reason, give it time, I'm sure you'll find someone else soon.
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True but is a hell of a lot easier to tell that to someone when you are not going through the same situation. Everyone hurts in different ways.
 
Cosmic182 said:
She said she just doesn't love me the same amount. I feel so hurt because I haven't done anything wrong. There was no warning in the slightest. I was there for her, I treated her like a gf should be treated, I was only ever good to her. I feel like I can never find someone that loves me the same back. Starting to think it's me! The thought of her eventually finding someone else is making my chest pound so hard. :( how do I stop myself from txting/ringing her and being angry and upset. I feel like I want to try get even but try to do everything to make Her change her mind :(
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Earlier on in the year I was in a relationship and things fell apart. I was cheated on, lied to, and even though I found all this out she said she was confused and lost and still loved me. I thought about going back and missed everything that we had. It wasn't until time passed that I realised that even if we did get back together... things would never be the same, and I realised that I would have been better off without her. I was blinded by love!

I have had a few long term relationships fail in my time and ALL down to the other partner and not me. I gave them everything and treated them like they should be. It wasn't until recently that I realised that it was me and not them! Because I was treating them like a princess, there was no challenge there anymore, no excitement, and nothing for them to aspire to. They had me wrapped round thier little finger, and ultimately they had control and didn't need to put effort in to keep me. Women won't admit this freely, but they need someone to take control, be a leader and put thier foot down when need be. They need to feel like they have a chase to keep you, and you need to keep the excitement going for them to want you. Bad boy types are the players and they ones who keep them chasing, but the nice guys are the ones that don't offer that excitement. It's about finding that right balance without being a douche or being a walk over.

Good luck
 
rossk26 said:
Don't want to sound nasty here, but you need to man up. I can understand the feelings you may have, but if you were this sulky around her, then there's the reason she probably left you.
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Oh give him a break, his girlfriend just left him. If he's still dreary and upset in 6 months time you've absolutely got a point but on day zero he's entirely entitled to not 'man up' and be pretty cut up about the situation, unless she never meant anything to him in the first place.

If yours called you in a minute and said 'It's over' I somewhat doubt you'd shrug it off and be super cheerful.
 
rossk26 said:
Don't want to sound nasty here, but you need to man up. I can understand the feelings you may have, but if you were this sulky around her, then there's the reason she probably left you.

Everything happens for a reason, give it time, I'm sure you'll find someone else soon.
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What a legend, my hero. Bet you're a great mate to have.
 
rossk26 said:
Don't want to sound nasty here, but you need to man up. I can understand the feelings you may have, but if you were this sulky around her, then there's the reason she probably left you.

Everything happens for a reason, give it time, I'm sure you'll find someone else soon.
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I think you need to put less time in reducing your MPG and more time into being a more helpful and understanding person.

7 years is a LONG time, so hugs go out to you Geekazoid!
 
Cosmic182 said:
How do you pick up the motivation to stop thinking about someone you love though? My relationship wasn't 7 years but it's bren long enough to fall in love and feel hurt :( my friends are all older than me and have not much spare time so I feel very cornered and alone :(
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One of my ex's broke up with me after 4 years, I even moved to a different country to be with her, spent 3 years living together.

4 months after the break up I got my self a coitus buddy (concentual fun for both of us with no strings and only one rule which was no banging any one else) and that helped tremendously, you could probably do the same by throwing yourself into working out, spending lots of time around other people, etc. anything just to relieve the stress and heartache so you can move on. It just so happened she came into my life and it lasted for a few months and left both of us in a state of mind where we were ready to go out and find the right someone.

I met my wife of 10 years a few months after.

Basically, you just need time and do things that please you, be selfish and indulge yourself in your own needs. Just don't lose yourself. It gets better.
 
AndyCroft1982 said:
Sorry to hear that mate, been in your same situation a few years back. My best advice I can give you is cut all ties with her, do not contact her at all and get out as much as you can. Go to friends and family houses to take your mind off it. Eventually it gets easier. The worse thing you can do is keep in contact as it will only prolonge the pain. I found getting a few hobbies really helped me. Good Luck buddy and whatever you do do not sit alone sitting in self pity !
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This is VERY good advice, as difficult as it will be to read
 
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