I thought i would never make a thread like this
- Thread starter Geekazoid
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Soldato
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- The Orion Spur
Very good advice and also very true in my experience, it is about finding that balance, it's not about wanting the women to chase after you all the time but it's about having the confidence to be yourself and do your own thing, don't do 'everything' for your partner, be your own person but in love, a bit of unpredictability in a relationship can be a good thing imo on both sides.
Well she said she doesn't think she's ever loved me properly, or at least definitely not like I did her and that she's been in denial I've deleted everything off my phone, her number etc, all the Facebook is still there in relationship etc but I've uninstalled it......Totally.....crushed 
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Jul 2005
- Posts
- 13,302
- Location
- The Orion Spur
Well she said she doesn't think she's ever loved me properly, or at least definitely not like I did her and that she's been in denial I've deleted everything off my phone, her number etc, all the Facebook is still there in relationship etc but I've uninstalled it......Totally.....crushed
You are not crushed, you brain is just in turmoil atm because of a massive change in patterns and routines in your life, we are very habitual creatures and often when we break up it's that lose of routine that we mourn most and the keystone to that routine is your partner so we feel we need that person back desperately even if they have hurt us or wronged us.
You have a life right now, it's just changed dramatically, your brain will adjust naturally by creating new patterns and routines, you can help speed up and reinforce that process if you choose to be proactive about it and try your best to keep busy and find new stuff to do and before long you will feel normal again that's a near fact, you've just got to be confident in yourself and believe that this is something you'll get over, nothing was wasted, we all learn a tremendous amount in relationships, don't resent it, learn from it and move forward, the most important person in your life right now is yourself, and that's not a selfish sentiment, look after yourself.
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Thank you guys for these words. I know I'm probably thinking it isn't helping much but what is nice is the kindness of some of these words from you all. She was younger than me and lived with other students. The one thing that hurts me is that I know it won't be long for her before she takes some random home on a night out, knowing her from her past before me and what her housemates are like and the fact she's only 5-10 minutes away. There was a 6 year age gap, maybe I need to find someone older and who will respect how I treat them
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Well she said she doesn't think she's ever loved me properly, or at least definitely not like I did her and that she's been in denial I've deleted everything off my phone, her number etc, all the Facebook is still there in relationship etc but I've uninstalled it......Totally.....crushed
How long was the relationship?
Soldato
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2006
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- 3,779
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- Wales
Thank you guys for these words. I know I'm probably thinking it isn't helping much but what is nice is the kindness of some of these words from you all. She was younger than me and lived with other students. The one thing that hurts me is that I know it won't be long for her before she takes some random home on a night out, knowing her from her past before me and what her housemates are like and the fact she's only 5-10 minutes away. There was a 6 year age gap, maybe I need to find someone older and who will respect how I treat them
Put yourself in her shoes, imagine being with someone for 7 years that you didn't really love. That's a horrific burden to carry around, and it's doomed to not work.
Sometimes women go off men. Swallow it down and move on, there was never any hope of a lasting relationship to begin with anyway if she never actually felt anything. Be thankful that it has ended now rather than later - lucky escape and you're a free man. I'd be punching the air quite frankly.
You know... aside from a few comments it's astounding to see the genuine kindness and advice from one stranger to another. Most forums I've been on are never this nice.
As someone going through a very difficult period, it's nice to know that people out there really do care. Oh and get that bike (op)! I'm doing my CBT and planning on a CBR! But probably the 600F as I couldn't handle the RR lol.
As someone going through a very difficult period, it's nice to know that people out there really do care. Oh and get that bike (op)! I'm doing my CBT and planning on a CBR! But probably the 600F as I couldn't handle the RR lol.
Well she said she doesn't think she's ever loved me properly, or at least definitely not like I did her and that she's been in denial I've deleted everything off my phone, her number etc, all the Facebook is still there in relationship etc but I've uninstalled it......Totally.....crushed
You've done the right thing.
Sending bro love across the net for you!
This is OCUK, we may rant at one another, we may disagree, we may facepalm but we share empathy when times warrant it.
Oh and pictures of random crap, we do that too.
Haha! Very true. I've sat on a friends CBR 600RR and thought "nope nope nope".
But on my friends CBR 600F it was so much nicer. Really easy to drive, more power than I'll arguably ever need/use. And pretty comfortable driving position.
And let's face it... still looks badass
Yeah, I lurked for years without ever posting. Trying to get into posting a bit more but not good at it.
Well she deleted me off Facebook. She said last night that were too different, she said she's confident and I'm not! Wtf! And she feels as if she's the younger one telling me what to do in life. What upsets me is that she said she's been feeling it for weeks but she's never acted different or said anything different. It was her birthday last weds and she had no problem in accepting my parents gift nor mine (which was a nice watch) everything was great. I feel played with as if it was just a game a couple of friends are taking me out Friday for some drinks and perhaps the football Saturday with my dad.
a couple of friends are taking me out Friday for some drinks and perhaps the football Saturday with my dad.
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Well she deleted me off Facebook. She said last night that were too different, she said she's confident and I'm not! Wtf! And she feels as if she's the younger one telling me what to do in life. What upsets me is that she said she's been feeling it for weeks but she's never acted different or said anything different. It was her birthday last weds and she had no problem in accepting my parents gift nor mine (which was a nice watch) everything was great. I feel played with as if it was just a game
How old are you, and how long had you been dating?
Nearly 29, not that long just under a year. I made the mistake though of going into this from a 4.5 year relationship. My friends warned me then. Even thought this one hasnt been long, it's been long enough to fall in love and care for her. Her body language and everything she's said just led me to believe that this relationship would certainly last a lot longer. It was her who said I love you first etc We've done a lot in the space Weve been together and she's said it's as if she's bored now (not in them words) I think my problem is is that I'm just too nice and older. What's making me a mess is the fact she's just checked out like that. I said about space and even just going back to dating. But she's adamant about her feelings. Said she's been feeling it for a few weeks but wanted it badly so never said anything.
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Caporegime
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just shows that relationships and marriages are a lottery.
hard luck pal. i wasted 8 years of marriage too
Caporegime
- Joined
- 7 Apr 2008
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- Lorville - Hurston
My gf told me tonight she didn't love me. She was coming for Christmas and said to my mum tonight how excited she was. She told me yesterday she loved me. There was no warning or anything, we had a great weekend as it was her birthday. We have a trip to Switzerland booked for Christmas. I feel so heart broken
Same **** happened to me over a year ago. came home early from work and avoided going to the gym as i wanted to surprise and take the missus out for a nice meal and long and behold she telling me she wants a divorce without reason.
fast forward to today and now found a nice girl (great to talk to and the xxx is amazing i must say!).
Been to 3 holidays(two on my own) this year.
those were vietnam for a month backpacking on my own literely months after i split with the missus, went and bought a **** load of camera gear and done tons if photography work/assignments(https://www.flickr.com/photos/josh1408/) , went to lisbon on my own and experienced an amazing festival that makes the nottinghil carnival look like a quiet party filled with oldies and i had probably the best birthday ever as i turned 30 and took 7 of my mates with me abroad to croatia for a famous festival called dimensions.
Hope my post inspires you to what can happen in a life outside this pain you are going through.