The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Narj said:
I'm dating someone who is great and should be perfect for me. However I can't get someone else out my mind and it's driving me nuts. It makes no sense at all as the girl I'm dating is infinitely fitter, more sophisticated, educated etc.

Other lass has issues I think. Her faults just make her more attractive but she's already brushed me off twice. I think she just has low self esteem. :/
Click to expand...

You have White Knight/Broken Bird syndrome. You find the other woman attractive because she's someone broken you can fix. It makes you feel needed, even though she doesn't want you.

You're better off sticking with the better woman who can actually be an equal (or better) partner in the relationship with you. The question is, do you want someone that can make you happy, or someone that will give you drama?

Stop thinking about the broken woman, and give the better one the chance to make you fall for her.
 
Steampunk said:
You're better off sticking with the better woman who can actually be an equal (or better) partner in the relationship with you. The question is, do you want someone that can make you happy, or someone that will give you drama?

Stop thinking about the broken woman, and give the better one the chance to make you fall for her.
Click to expand...

The only person that makes me happy is me and I'm doing a pretty good job of it :) I see a relationship as a complementary thing above all else. But hey, this just seems really messed up. Girl B isn't a mess, she has a career, makes me laugh, but just seems to be playing some sort of game and/or has issues..

You're probably right. You can't make yourself fancy someone though! Girl A ticks every single box I could think of but I am struggling to feel like I want to make something of it. Who said women were the illogical ones!?
 
Last edited:
Narj said:
The only person that makes me happy is me and I'm doing a pretty good job of it :) I see a relationship as a complementary thing above all else. But hey, this just seems really messed up. Girl B isn't a mess, she has a career, makes me laugh, but just seems to be playing some sort of game and/or has issues..

You're probably right. You can't make yourself fancy someone though!
Click to expand...

No, but you can at least be honest with yourself as to what you're letting yourself in for.
 
That awkward moment when your long-term ex who you broke up with 6 months ago tells you her dad has had a heart attack and is in hospital. :(

I really want to be there for her, but I have been keeping my distance as she has been having trouble moving on, so don't really know what to do.
 
krooton said:
That awkward moment when your long-term ex who you broke up with 6 months ago tells you her dad has had a heart attack and is in hospital. :(

I really want to be there for her, but I have been keeping my distance as she has been having trouble moving on, so don't really know what to do.
Click to expand...

Normally i'd say do what you feel is natural... however that didn't really put me in the best situation :rolleyes:
 
Its a hard one, because there isn't really a right or wrong way.

I mean if you go and support her, she may get too attached again, but if you don't then you may feel bad about it.

My suggestion is to do what you feel is best, or support her in a way where you don't see or talk to her too much.
 
I had exactly the samething with an ex years ago but sadly her dad died while on the way to the hospital. She called me up crying her eyes out, I listened, I understood and that was it. We was no longer in a relationship so I left it as that.

It was hard but regardless of the situation I had to move on, so I did. I didn't even bother to go and see her or to the funeral.
 
krooton said:
That awkward moment when your long-term ex who you broke up with 6 months ago tells you her dad has had a heart attack and is in hospital. :(

I really want to be there for her, but I have been keeping my distance as she has been having trouble moving on, so don't really know what to do.
Click to expand...

It's a horrible situation for her and for you. By contacting you she's shown that she still needs you emotionally and if you offer support it will only make the split harder for both of you. I really don't know how I'd handle this! One half of me says be there for her and the other half says use it as a way to reinforce the break..

Good luck mate!
 
Well technically the contact was to ask if I could look after our cat this evening if she needs to go down to Brighton, though I am sure she would have contacted me even if that wasn't the case.
 
krooton said:
Well technically the contact was to ask if I could look after our cat this evening if she needs to go down to Brighton, though I am sure she would have contacted me even if that wasn't the case.
Click to expand...

Go for Winston. Seeing that she called you to look after him because she has to go to the Hospital. If she had called cause her dad is poorly and she needs you to be with her, then thats a different story

When she comes home, listen to her and go. Don't hang about and have a brew and a cuddle.

You guys have to treat Winston as a child. Spend time with him separately and limit the time with the 3 of you to a minimum.
 
Steampunk said:
No, but you can at least be honest with yourself as to what you're letting yourself in for.
Click to expand...

Right, I'm going to take measures to make sure I don't bump into Girl B anymore because it's definitely messing with my head too much. Thanks. :) *brofist*
 
Last edited:
krooton said:
Sadly, he passed away, what a horrible Christmas for her :(
Click to expand...

Wow, that was sudden. That's really sad. I lost a close family member on New Year's eve a few years back so know how that feels. :(

Very difficult situation mate - personally I'd be as supportive as possible in that situation but I'd be careful to not let it reopen the wounds. Make it clear that you're being supportive as a friend...?
 
Is the "ignoring texts" tactic a woman thing as well these days? Why suggest going away together then not answer a simple innocuous text about booking a group day out? I'm not needy but over a day is stretching it when you've already been out several times (especially when it's for something that sells out quickly).

Or am I just being an idiot?
 
Last edited:
Narj said:
Is the "ignoring texts" tactic a woman thing as well these days? Why suggest going away together then not answer a simple innocuous text about booking a group day out? I'm not needy but over a day is stretching it when you've already been out several times (especially when it's for something that sells out quickly).

Or am I just being an idiot?
Click to expand...

The mind of a woman is NOT something that can be understood.
 
This morning my marriage finally ended been fighting for the last year to keep it together. I have no family or close friends and currently staying in a b & b until find a place to stay sooner rather than later or will be out of cash fast then homeless
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom