But that's what people have to do if you end up with so much free time on your hand you don't know what to do with yourself. Better than stopping in moping around.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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But that's what people have to do if you end up with so much free time on your hand you don't know what to do with yourself. Better than stopping in moping around.
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I know exactly where you're coming from, I sort of tried to do the same in filling all of my time - then realised it's not really what I want to do, and some nights are OK to write off with a good portion of Netflix and a pizza by myself.
Personally, I'll be single for a good while now. I'm really enjoying getting into exercise, eating well, socialising and playing with my cars. Oh and work...
I'm trying things out of my comfort zone, and actually doing them as opposed to not.
I'm not making myself do something if I don't like it.
I will like rowing (I love the water, and it's a non impact (shin splints) physical activity.
I tried kung fu, was terrible at it, didn't enjoy it so stopped it. But tried it.
I won't be going to the pub in my own as I know I don't enjoy it.
In my relationship I didn't do much for myself as I worried about keeping my ex occupied as we both had almost no friends. Now not having her I have to put myself out. Otherwise like said above I'll just end up watching TV. Which i don't want to do except to fill the gaps. I don't want to spend all of Saturday in front of the TV, or generally being alone with thoughts.
I'm not making myself do something if I don't like it.
I will like rowing (I love the water, and it's a non impact (shin splints) physical activity.
I tried kung fu, was terrible at it, didn't enjoy it so stopped it. But tried it.
I won't be going to the pub in my own as I know I don't enjoy it.
In my relationship I didn't do much for myself as I worried about keeping my ex occupied as we both had almost no friends. Now not having her I have to put myself out. Otherwise like said above I'll just end up watching TV. Which i don't want to do except to fill the gaps. I don't want to spend all of Saturday in front of the TV, or generally being alone with thoughts.
I know exactly where you're coming from, I sort of tried to do the same in filling all of my time - then realised it's not really what I want to do, and some nights are OK to write off with a good portion of Netflix and a pizza by myself.
Personally, I'll be single for a good while now. I'm really enjoying getting into exercise, eating well, socialising and playing with my cars. Oh and work...
Work is/was my big current problem.
I'm not happy with the environment. It was bad during the relationship, after it, I then had a bad work and home environment.
I don't know what I want to do, just the type of things I enjoy.
It's tough as I don't really naturally fit a role
As I put my relationship before work so never fixed it.
Then I needed to get my self out of that terrible place.
Now I actually have to face my job worries/uncertainty.
I'm in no way better, just trying to fix all things that are broken
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Well I am joining the relationship and counciling thread.
My wife and I are separating after 6 years, I am still at a loss as to why she's left and keeps changing her reasons, we have a 4 year old daughter and a 3 month old baby, so I am crushed.
Unfortunately in our relationship she's not very clear about her issues or concerns, so I am always second guessing what her issues are. Even tried talking to her and listening to her needs which she will a) become defensive or b) turn it into a blame competition.
Our first serious conversation she said sarcastically "why did we even bother getting married" you were only with me to escape from your ex" and your only with me cause of our daughter".
Then she said that "now because I have become socially available to my friends for support" that it's taken her to end the marriage for me to be more socialable"
bearing in mind we have 2 children, finances are low and she's not working, and when she did work it was most evenings so I was doing the father responsibilities.
To make matters more interesting I asked her to define love, the first thing she done was copy the wiki page. then she said that love to her was comfort, closeness and physically and mental connection, but she mentioned that she doesn't like physical closeness.
Now she wants me to move on, yeah that's right so she can get over us quicker, but apparently she still loves me and doesn't want me to move on", (Playing Games that I don't like playing)
Guys Any manly suggestions?
My wife and I are separating after 6 years, I am still at a loss as to why she's left and keeps changing her reasons, we have a 4 year old daughter and a 3 month old baby, so I am crushed.
Unfortunately in our relationship she's not very clear about her issues or concerns, so I am always second guessing what her issues are. Even tried talking to her and listening to her needs which she will a) become defensive or b) turn it into a blame competition.
Our first serious conversation she said sarcastically "why did we even bother getting married" you were only with me to escape from your ex" and your only with me cause of our daughter".
Then she said that "now because I have become socially available to my friends for support" that it's taken her to end the marriage for me to be more socialable"
bearing in mind we have 2 children, finances are low and she's not working, and when she did work it was most evenings so I was doing the father responsibilities.
To make matters more interesting I asked her to define love, the first thing she done was copy the wiki page. then she said that love to her was comfort, closeness and physically and mental connection, but she mentioned that she doesn't like physical closeness.
Now she wants me to move on, yeah that's right so she can get over us quicker, but apparently she still loves me and doesn't want me to move on", (Playing Games that I don't like playing)
Guys Any manly suggestions?
As nasty as this sounds, it sound not far off. I'm sorry to read what you've had to go through and I know what it's like. So many questions go unanswered and the defensive answers would can easily make you consider all possible alternatives.
Are you still living in the same house? Have you tried some space for a while and then arrange some time to sit and talk?
She said that's she's not seeing someone and we move out at the end of oct
Soldato
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Postnatal depression?
My ex-wife swore blind that there was no-one else when she left me. There was. Well, for a short time at least. Then the other guy realised his fling was getting serious and ran back to his wife and kids.
Was thinking the same thing
Every one I've spoken to thinks that
Talk?
Associate
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Yep, its this I reckon.
Buckle up, could be a long bumpy road if not dealt with properly.
Seek help, be supportive, talk and listen.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
She will be exhausted and confused and never under estimate hormones.
They have a lot to answer for
Best of luck
Associate
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With a 4 year old and a 3 month old child
I think not.Cripes. Who'd have the time or energy?
Associate
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I've obviously been burnt too often before
Haha! Yeah I thought as much
I was sat here thinking hmmm I wonder if someone cheated on fuzz. He's not bitter at all
I gotta say though in most cases I'd probably agree
if she didn't have a 3 month old I'd be shouting exactly the same and telling him to cut loose. Not that I'm bitter or cynical much.
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With a 4 year old and a 3 month old child
Cripes. Who'd have the time or energy?
Didn't stop mine doing it
well she wrote a letter expressing her feelings there were some things on there she never spoke to me about, mostly relating to the christening.
apparently not saying thank you to her parents who made some of the food, bearing in mind there was over 30+ guests at our house, and she stated how i have no respect for her parents. The matter of fact is i said thank to everyone.
Some of it did relate to me doing not enough with the baby, i work 9-5, i help with the children put them to bed, get up "well as most as i can with the baby", i dont complain i just do it.
When i went out she started crying cause she thought i was going for a "date" when in actual fact i was seeing friends to which she told me previously to "socialise" i just dont get it.
apparently not saying thank you to her parents who made some of the food, bearing in mind there was over 30+ guests at our house, and she stated how i have no respect for her parents. The matter of fact is i said thank to everyone.
Some of it did relate to me doing not enough with the baby, i work 9-5, i help with the children put them to bed, get up "well as most as i can with the baby", i dont complain i just do it.
When i went out she started crying cause she thought i was going for a "date" when in actual fact i was seeing friends to which she told me previously to "socialise" i just dont get it.