Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?

As person C, is it okay to sleep with person A?

  • Hell yes!

    Votes: 81 17.6%

  • No, it's wrong.

    Votes: 291 63.4%

  • Pancake.

    Votes: 87 19.0%
  • Total voters
    459
Avenged7Fold said:
People say its not black and white and blah blah blah because children/money/abuse whatever.

At the end of the day, no matter how complicated it is, there is no way cheating is the best solution to anything.

There is always something that can be done which is better than cheating, no matter how abusive the partner may be or how desperate they want a shag but cant split because of the kids.



Just because you accept that there is little consequences in being person C or no one holds you responsible for affect their relationship, it doesn't mean you aren't responsible.

I feel sorry for the wives/gf of some of these posters...
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How is C responsible for a person in a relationship feeling open to cheating?

Is actually cheating worse, in reality, than simply wanting to? Does C's action actually have a material effect on such a relationship? Surely A's lack of commitment (for whatever reason) is the real issue?
 
Evangelion said:
No, it's a dog act. Don't be a ****. - C isn't cheating try and remember that - it's only a dog act if C is chasing A while in the knowledge A is in a relationship

How is it perfectly OK? C is interfering in someone else's relationship. The fact that this doesn't involve cheating on C's part is irrelevant.
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how isn't it? what has the relationship got to do with C? A is the one causing the issues with the relationship, C is just a by product of A's unwillingness to remain faithful.

really don't get this whole moral crusade against C. would be totally different if C were in fact chasing A while being aware A was in a relationship, but that is not the case. A has made a play for C, simple as that. there is no moral, social acceptance issues here as far as C is concerned.
 
Avenged7Fold said:
People say its not black and white and blah blah blah because children/money/abuse whatever. - because it is not black and white in some cases and you saying otherwise doesn't change that

At the end of the day, no matter how complicated it is, there is no way cheating is the best solution to anything.
There is always something that can be done which is better than cheating, no matter how abusive the partner may be or how desperate they want a shag but cant split because of the kids. - is there ALWAYS? in every single scenario ever?


Just because you accept that there is little consequences in being person C or no one holds you responsible for affect their relationship, it doesn't mean you aren't responsible. - C isn't responsible A is, really is that simple. if A wants to get jiggy outside the relationship they are going to do so eventually

I feel sorry for the wives/gf of some of these posters - why? seriously why? because we view things different to you are we going to be serial cheaters? i'm pretty sure no one in here has said cheating is ok, least i know i haven't. it's just that i can see that C is not cheating and that seems to be the point that the moral mighty are missing out...
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cheesyboy said:
How is C responsible for a person in a relationship feeling open to cheating?

Is actually cheating worse, in reality, than simply wanting to? Does C's action actually have a material effect on such a relationship? Surely A's lack of commitment (for whatever reason) is the real issue?
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IMO you are being unfaithful the second you make up your mind to want to go with person C, even if you don't follow through with it in the end. Though that still doesn't mean wanting to cheat is the same as cheating. I do feel its worse because you can be caught after cheating on someone but you would have to be pretty stupid to be caught just wanting to cheat (rather than trying).

As others have said, it takes two to tango. The fact that you are assisting in the cheating makes you responsible to the result. No one may hold you accountable but it is still the effect of your actions despite not having to take responsibility. You cant label someone as open to cheating and so argue they will cheat anyway. If you don't give them the chance to cheat, then you will at least have prevented the cheating that would have happened with you.

Lack of commitment is the issue but that isn't to say that person will cheat with someone else if you don't give them the opportunity.
 
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Freefaller said:
I don't disagree with the point dowie makes but person A should have the guts to do the right thing and call it off. If person C doesn't know about relationship then i agree they are innocent. However if person c is aware of relationship they are scum to pursue person A until they are out of the relationship. Again this is my opinion..
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I think that's a bit of a harsh sweeper! As I mentioned, I know of an A + C who are now married with a kid... Sometimes to make that tasty omelette you got to break a few eggs?

I also have a very good friend who started seeing a lady when she was engaged to person B. I thought that was really douchey at the time but now A and C are very happy together and in love ... So I suppose it all worked out for the best?
 
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Burnsy2023 said:
I'm not saying it's cheating, but just because it's not cheating doesn't mean it's not wrong.
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what makes it wrong? some moral code? some unspoken rule? C is not cheating, C does not know B so therefore haven't betrayed them in any way, C has not made the play for A. so what have they done wrong?
 
Nitefly said:
I think that's a bit of a harsh sweeper! As I mentioned, I know of an A + C who are now married with a kid... Sometimes to make that tasty omelette you got to break a few eggs?

I also have a very good friend who started seeing a lady when she was engaged to person B. I thought that was really douchey at the time but now A and C are very happy together and in love ... So I suppose it all worked out for the best?
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The end does not justify the means.

A should have the respect and decency to leave relationships they're not happy in.
 
Thekwango said:
what makes it wrong? some moral code? some unspoken rule? C is not cheating, C does not know B so therefore haven't betrayed them in any way, C has not made the play for A. so what have they done wrong?
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Yes, a moral code, the same moral code that says that doing something where other people get hurt isn't ok.
 
Lol just because you don't know them, doesn't mean its a free pass to have fun at the expense of their future/family/relationship.

Also being as all the decisions are made in the moment rather than with hindsight, no amount of end results justify the reasoning behind the means.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
Yes, a moral code, the same moral code that says that doing something where other people get hurt isn't ok.
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nope doesn't come into play here. C didn't instigate the liaison, C didn't set out to cause B any hurt.
I've said it thousand times, but i'll try again. if C had been chasing A while aware A was in a relationship then I'd be in full agreement with you - C is morally bankrupt. as it stands that is not the case

but lets for a moment roll with the moral code for a minute...honest question here, but at what point is it ok for an individual to forego this moral code and do something that makes them happy. at what point do your own personal feelings become more important than a strangers. at what point is it ok to do something for yourself, even if that may have a negative impact on someone else's feelings? what situations would make it ok to break this moral code? are there any?
 
Thekwango said:
but lets for a moment roll with the moral code for a minute...honest question here, but at what point is it ok for an individual to forego this moral code and do something that makes them happy. at what point do your own personal feelings become more important than a strangers. at what point is it ok to do something for yourself, even if that may have a negative impact on someone else's feelings? what situations would make it ok to break this moral code? are there any?
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If I were really in love with person A, I'd ask them to leave person B. If they're not willing to do that, then clearly they're not as committed as I would have been led to believe.

It's really that simple. I see no need to sleep with someone in a relationship to make some sort of ill conceived point.
 
Avenged7Fold said:
Lol just because you don't know them, doesn't mean its a free pass to have fun at the expense of their future/family/relationship.
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A is having fun at B's expense. C is having fun at A's expense (if you want to look at it that way) C is not having any sort of interaction with B

what about C's future/family/relationship. or because of this moral code everyone speaks of must C give up any potential positives that may come out of this.
 
Burnsy is right

If they wouldn't leave person B and would rather go behind his back to keep you secret, then she is not to my taste and will probably take that attitude with you one day if you ever do manage to sort it out.

If A hooks up with C, then B is the one that loses out through no fault of their own when the situation comes to light. You may not be gaining any enjoyment over the fact that B is involved in the situation at all as person C but at the end of the day, its B that gets hurt and so at his expense.

Can C not just go to the pub like everyone else and pull a single bird? I am just saying that you cant deny the situation causes grief to at least one person and there really is no reason for C to hook up with A that can justify some of the potential outcomes.
 
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