Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?

[Burnsy2023]

Burnsy is right

If they wouldn't leave person B and would rather go behind his back to keep you secret, then she is not to my taste and will probably take that attitude with you one day if you ever do manage to sort it out.

Even if they don't cheat on you if you get in a relationship, I hugely value honesty and I would struggle to respect someone who doesn't share my core values.

 

[Thekwango]

If I were really in love with person A, I'd ask them to leave person B. If they're not willing to do that, then clearly they're not as committed as I would have been led to believe.

It's really that simple. I see no need to sleep with someone in a relationship to make some sort of ill conceived point.

sorry you've lost me? what does being in love with A have to do with the question i asked?

i basically asked was there any situation where it was ok to forego this moral code you talk of? was there any situation where C's feelings became more important that B's?

 

[Thekwango]

No, C is having fun at B's expense. Clearly A doesn't give a ****, so they have lost nothing.

don't agree with you on the first bit, agree on the second

 

[Burnsy2023]

sorry you've lost me? what does being in love with A have to do with the question i asked?

Replace love for sex and my point stands.

Perhaps it's the fact that I value being a good person and I couldn't have sex with someone in a relationship without guilt. I'd like to think my principles trump what's in my pants.

 

[Freefaller]

I think that's a bit of a harsh sweeper! As I mentioned, I know of an A + C who are now married with a kid... Sometimes to make that tasty omelette you got to break a few eggs?

I also have a very good friend who started seeing a lady when she was engaged to person B. I thought that was really douchey at the time but now A and C are very happy together and in love ... So I suppose it all worked out for the best?

What I meant was, that Person C should wait for Person A to break up - and if Person C is really keen on Person A, they should be asking Person A to break up. There's nothing wrong with pursuing person A as long as person A is reciprocating (if person A is not interested then person C should respect that and leave them alone).

Personally, if ever I was in that situation, I'd let person A know that I liked them. And if they become single great! If they break up as a result of me telling that to person A, I'd be a little upset for Person A, but at least I did it the right way. I wouldn't want to be with Person A if I knew they were still committed.

Now if person A is aware of C but is in an open relationship, then of course it is a different dynamic. I wouldn't/couldn't be in that sort of relationship, but at least everyone is open and honest with one another.

The rub for me is the lack of honesty. Sometimes truth hurts, but in the long term it works out for the best.

 

[Freefaller]

If I were really in love with person A, I'd ask them to leave person B. If they're not willing to do that, then clearly they're not as committed as I would have been led to believe.

It's really that simple. I see no need to sleep with someone in a relationship to make some sort of ill conceived point.

You said it much better than I did.

 

[Thekwango]

Replace love for sex and my point stands.

Perhaps it's the fact that I value being a good person and I couldn't have sex with someone in a relationship without guilt. I'd like to think my principles trump what's in my pants.

so having sex with someone who is in a relationship makes C a bad person? do you have a scale on how bad? obviously it doesn't put C up there with murderers or child molesters, but what would you liken it to?

 

[Muzy]

Leading on from this thread.

Person A is in a monogamous relationship with person B.

Person C is aware of the above relationship.

Person A would like to have sex with person C whilst still in that relationship.

Is it okay for person C to have sex with person A?

get a picture of person C and **** it, believe me you will no longer be interested in C...

/thread.

 

[Burnsy2023]

so having sex with someone who is in a relationship makes C a bad person? do you have a scale on how bad? obviously it doesn't put C up there with murderers or child molesters, but what would you liken it to?

I wouldn't say it was the worst of things, but it just tells me their selfish and I personally dislike selfish people.

 

[Thekwango]

What I meant was, that Person C should wait for Person A to break up - and if Person C is really keen on Person A, they should be asking Person A to break up. There's nothing wrong with pursuing person A as long as person A is reciprocating (if person A is not interested then person C should respect that and leave them alone).

Personally, if ever I was in that situation, I'd let person A know that I liked them. And if they become single great! If they break up as a result of me telling that to person A, I'd be a little upset for Person A, but at least I did it the right way. I wouldn't want to be with Person A if I knew they were still committed.

Now if person A is aware of C but is in an open relationship, then of course it is a different dynamic. I wouldn't/couldn't be in that sort of relationship, but at least everyone is open and honest with one another.

The rub for me is the lack of honesty. Sometimes truth hurts, but in the long term it works out for the best.

that's all assuming C wants to have a relationship with A. what if C just want's sex, as per the OP. 'A wants to have sex with C'
why is it that C is the bad guy here because they are not thinking soft fluffy thoughts about B? C is perfectly entitled to accept any forthcoming advances without guilt as far a i am concerned, whether that leads to a one night stand or a life long relationship is irrelevant

 

[Avenged7Fold]

No such thing as a bad person but there is such thing as bad things and people who do bad things.

Just because there is no quantitative scale, it doesn't exist?

Your argument doesn't really work. What is deemed as bad? Well, a majority in society normally sets the standards for social interactions.

Results of the poll speak for themselves.

C is the bad guy (as in a person who does bad things) as well as A because their actions affect B. If A just wants sex and B is okay with that, then it wouldn't be cheating because B is made aware. If they want sex but not with B then they shouldn't be in the relationship unless B is aware.

 

[Thekwango]

I wouldn't say it was the worst of things, but it just tells me their selfish and I personally dislike selfish people.

don't get how they are selfish. selfish people think only of themselves. clearly C here is also thinking of A and how A would like some. so clearly not a selfish act

 

[Avenged7Fold]

Lol no, C is thinking of C and the opportunity created by A works to C's advantage.

The justifying is funny. Are you telling me that if C is doing it for A, then if A was fugly, C would 'charitably' do em?

If someone who was married went up to you and said 'lets go for it!'

Would you think ' This person needs my help' or 'OMG what an opportunity, shes hot!'

 

[Thekwango]

No such thing as a bad person but there is such thing as bad things and people who do bad things.

behave yourself. no such thing as a bad person!? let's not even go down that road, whole other conversation for a whole other thread buddy

Your argument doesn't really work.

i wasn't making an argument i was asking a question

 

[Avenged7Fold]

i wasn't making an argument i was asking a question

Sorry then, your point was moot. Or were you honestly just asking that question with no point behind it?

This thread isn't really going anywhere and would have been a bit more interesting without the addition of 'pancake'.

 

[Scougar]

Having had a family member (Person A) get divorced because of situation in the OP, I have to say no. Person C in this context previously ruined their own marriage by cheating, then the person they cheating with died. Person C then went on to cheat again with another Person C, and ruined that marriage. Person C had to effectively go on the run, then Person C decided to get involved with my family member (Person A), and ended up ruining that marriage as well. (Why the heck Person A thought that they could trust Person C is still beyond me...).

This is GD so gonna get the "yeah bang 'em" peeps.

 

[Thekwango]

Having had a family member (Person A) get divorced because of situation in the OP, I have to say no. Person C in this context previously ruined their own marriage by cheating, then the person they cheating with died. Person C then went on to cheat again with another Person C, and ruined that marriage. Person C had to effectively go on the run, then Person C decided to get involved with my family member (Person A), and ended up ruining that marriage as well. (Why the heck Person A thought that they could trust Person C is still beyond me...).

This is GD so gonna get the "yeah bang 'em" peeps.

not quite sure that i follow the above, but what i can make of it is nothing to do with the OP which is what we are debating - only similarity seems to be that you've used the letters A & C and someone is doing a pile of humping and cheating!

 

[Overlag]

When it happens to person C, they have no right to complain.

I've done it and had it done to me so not judging. Being Person B isn't much fun.

Ive done it and had it done to me twice.

I was person B and C with one of the girls, but it was obvious that was going to happen.

 

[mattoxx]

After viewing poll results it is good to know that majority has still a moral point of view on the issue.

 

[Liquiduk]

Always grown up with the idea of it being wrong, made a few errors with this sort of thing early on and learnt from it - My answer is C.