The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Nix · 22 Dec 2015 at 15:51

Sounds to me like she's just hurt by the rejection but handling it pretty well.

I wouldn't say she's crazy from those texts.

413x · 22 Dec 2015 at 16:04

Those texts don't seem crazy to me either

The previous stuff about the during date stuff however would have put me off.

413x · 22 Dec 2015 at 16:07

Roar87 said:
The term Alpha Male is related to a group of people, not a couple. I never said women should "know their place", that's a really negative term and none of this is about being sexist and suggesting women can't perform roles.

However modern women are attracted to exactly the same things that women of 10,000 years ago were. Women will always be attracted to strong masculine men because they are more likely to be able to protect them and their offspring, in the same way we're attracted to women who have strong signs of fertility like big hips and breasts and who have caring feminine personalities, which would mean they'd make good mothers. It's just basic biology.

Being equal partners doesn't mean you have to perform the same roles. My girlfriend expects me to carry heavy things, install new appliances/electronics and do the things that I'm more physically capable of doing than her. Where as she's more meticulous when it comes to things like cleaning the bathroom and kitchen appliances. Equal=/=same

See I'm fairly hefty physically and will do that stuff
I just fall down on the emotional stuff

Ugh, not feeling good about tonight. I'm sure I'm over thinking but last message I had from her was yesterday lunch. She is a one text a day girl.. And yes I do find that though.

Steampunk · 22 Dec 2015 at 16:07

I'm now single al4x said:
Those texts don't seem crazy to me either

The previous stuff about the during date stuff however would have put me off.

Yeah, she's being all reasonable now that her mind games blew up in her face.

ChrisD. · 22 Dec 2015 at 16:30

I'm now single al4x said:
Those texts don't seem crazy to me either

The previous stuff about the during date stuff however would have put me off.

I told her I wasn't interested after what had happened, she apologised and explained some of her behavior, so I let it slide and met again. We dated a few times but more of that behavior was showing, so I called it a day.

413x · 22 Dec 2015 at 16:41

S2KIP said:
I told her I wasn't interested after what had happened, she apologised and explained some of her behavior, so I let it slide and met again. We dated a few times but more of that behavior was showing, so I called it a day.

And people often hold back some of the less appealing aspects of themselves on initial dates.
Id have done same as yourself

xGBHxPegasus · 22 Dec 2015 at 17:34

S2KIP said:
I told her I wasn't interested after what had happened, she apologised and explained some of her behavior, so I let it slide and met again. We dated a few times but more of that behavior was showing, so I called it a day.

That should have been pretty obvious. I'm pretty sure someone can't just turn off the "oh I want to be treated like a princess" routine. Hide it for a few dates sure but it will creep back when they forget they need to hide it.

ChrisD. · 23 Dec 2015 at 13:43

So in other news, I went to London last night to meet some friends, ended up bumping into a tasty blonde in the hotel lobby. Turns out she's a Swiss air hostess for a private airline and I spent the night in her room. It never rains but it pours.

Daftbrown · 24 Dec 2015 at 12:43

I've fallen for a (female) friend.

This'll end badly.

malachi · 24 Dec 2015 at 15:41

Daftbrown said:
I've fallen for a (female) friend.

This'll end badly.

Usually does unfortunately, never seem to be a problem when it's the other way round.

Sinny · 26 Dec 2015 at 15:31

I've not been in here for a while! but guess it's somewhere to vent my problem

.

I've been talking to a really nice girl for about 6 weeks now, we went on a date after the first one got cancelled as she told me she had to look after her cousins.

anyway, she seems quite genuine, and things were going quite well despite her cancelling a second date up until the point I had a panic attack in my dig's away from home. as she was the only one I was talking too, I told her and explained that I have anxiety due to past relationships and if she didn't want to meet again then I'd rather just be told.

Came to this week, I asked her if we could meet on Wednesday which she said she would get back to me on but looked good. I asked her the night before and received no messages until Christmas even despite her looking at them.

I don't want to be dragged along again but I do really like her after the first date.

I'd really like to see her again, but I don't think I can face being blanked for a day after asking her out. I know perfectly well what people are capable after one really bad relationship.

Should I just call it quits? I really can't help but think I'm driving into a disaster here.

Nix · 26 Dec 2015 at 15:34

Sinny, honestly, you're walking a fine line in coming across as clingy and desperate. It will turn her off.

Do yourself a favour, take a deep breath and step back from it. Let her chase you.

In the meantime, carry on trying to date other women. It will help take the edge off.

Sinny · 26 Dec 2015 at 15:40

Nix said:
Sinny, honestly, you're walking a fine line in coming across as clingy and desperate. It will turn her off.

Do yourself a favour, take a deep breath and step back from it. Let her chase you.

In the meantime, carry on trying to date other women. It will help take the edge off.

That's what I keep thinking to be honest, I'm not the clingy type at all but I do realise that I may have came off that way.

The problem was I had a really rough week and told her even though I most definitely shouldn't have, I guess I'll just have to play it nonchalant for a bit and see what happens, talk to others etc.

cheers

Nix · 26 Dec 2015 at 15:52

Sinny said:
That's what I keep thinking to be honest, I'm not the clingy type at all but I do realise that I may have came off that way.

The problem was I had a really rough week and told her even though I most definitely shouldn't have, I guess I'll just have to play it nonchalant for a bit and see what happens, talk to others etc.

cheers

Yep. Don't worry about it, just demonstrate non-clingy behaviour now instead.

Bottom line: don't make this girl your only outcome. Right now she's not your girlfriend and you have no obligation towards each other.

Fuzz · 26 Dec 2015 at 16:57

Sinny said:
I've not been in here for a while! but guess it's somewhere to vent my problem .

I've been talking to a really nice girl for about 6 weeks now, we went on a date after the first one got cancelled as she told me she had to look after her cousins.

anyway, she seems quite genuine, and things were going quite well despite her cancelling a second date up until the point I had a panic attack in my dig's away from home. as she was the only one I was talking too, I told her and explained that I have anxiety due to past relationships and if she didn't want to meet again then I'd rather just be told.

Came to this week, I asked her if we could meet on Wednesday which she said she would get back to me on but looked good. I asked her the night before and received no messages until Christmas even despite her looking at them.

I don't want to be dragged along again but I do really like her after the first date.

I'd really like to see her again, but I don't think I can face being blanked for a day after asking her out. I know perfectly well what people are capable after one really bad relationship.

Should I just call it quits? I really can't help but think I'm driving into a disaster here.

If she is already at the stage of not responding to texts, ask yourself what the point is in carrying on with that..

Move on, forget about it.

Sinny · 26 Dec 2015 at 17:55

Fuzz said:
If she is already at the stage of not responding to texts, ask yourself what the point is in carrying on with that..

Move on, forget about it.

I pretty much am just leaving it now, she does reply but not for a good day after I've sent it.

arknor · 27 Dec 2015 at 02:58

Chilling in Switzerland since the 23rd <3

ChrisD. · 27 Dec 2015 at 12:32

Why are women so random? Met a girl in London, spent the night together. Now I understand one night stands, but we carried on texting and we had arranged to meet again next week. Then out of nowhere she blocks me on Whatsapp. This is just after sending me a picture of herself.

Monkeynut · 27 Dec 2015 at 12:35

S2KIP said:
Why are women so random? Met a girl in London, spent the night together. Now I understand one night stands, but we carried on texting and we had arranged to meet again next week. Then out of nowhere she blocks me on Whatsapp. This is just after sending me a picture of herself.

Maybe she got caught texting by her fella or something?

Ayahuasca · 27 Dec 2015 at 13:15

Never try to decipher the female mind.