The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

DRZ said:
Yeah. Run and don't look back!



Something simple like going in for a kiss will tell you what you need to know.
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Surely that's too soon for her considering she's been single a month? And it was him who left her?
 
413x said:
Haven't a clue (as in rubbish with this stuff) if she likes me beyond a friend at all.. Or is even open to that
Pretty much know that feelings on my side will move beyond the point where if she got another bf I would find it very hard to be social with her

Guess it's just a case of wait and see and don't force things?
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Make your interest known before she friendzones you. She might be waiting for you to say something before she thinks you're not interested and she finds someone else. Even if it's too soon after her break-up, you can still make her want to spend her time with you and let her know you have a thing for her.

Even if you say it in a jokey way, or just tell her how much you enjoy spending time with her, or just do those little physical body language things that tell people you're interested, you have to stake a claim if you're not going to miss out on a woman you want.
 
I'd start with a lingering hug first "really enjoyed your company tonight" yada yada.... Subtlety man!
Cheek kiss next time,
THEN
just go for it and hope for the best. :D
 
She kind of gave me the perfect opportunity not long ago to 'state my intentions' over messages
I decided to take it.
I await the fallout and invertible misreading of the signs ha
 
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413x said:
She kind of gave me the perfect opportunity not long ago to 'state my intentions' over messages
I decided to take it.
I await the fallout and invertible misreading of the signs ha
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I hope you were a bit subtle. "I really like you and I want to get to know you better and see where it goes because I think you're fantastic", rather than "I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO HAVE MY BABIES!!!! MARRY ME!!!"
 
This is hardly heartbreak hotel, so don't feel too sorry for me...

But I recently went on a few dates (3 to be exact) with someone I met on a dating site. I wasn't that mad about her while we were briefly dating (at least I don't think I was) but now that it's over (by mutual consent) I feel like absolute ****. Felt like this for about 3 days now actually. Is this normal? I think it's because she's one of the sweetest girls I've ever met and I just wanted her to be happy, and I reckon I'm down because I couldn't be the one to make her happy. Her previous boyfriend was apparently a total **** to her and she's very vulnerable/lacking in confidence. Feeling so bad it's put me off dating for a while.
 
Steampunk said:
I'm telling you, she's giving you the signals. She's given you plenty of chances to clear up the confusion she's feeling, and she's even come back to you a couple of times after you cooled things off. She's just as much asking you how you feel about her, as she can't understand why you haven't slept with her yet.

She wants you to prove you want her, as she's feeling kind of rejected and not desired as you haven't made a move. There's nothing like knowing someone really desires you to fire up that spark she's looking for, and nothing as good at damping down the passions when you think someone's just not that into you.

Go boink her, come back and tell me I was right. If it all goes horribly wrong, at least you both got laid.
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Well, we were chatting by text earlier, arranged to go out Wednesday evening all good. She said she was about to get in the shower I said I'd suddenly got an image in my head, I get back that I needed my eyes testing, replied with I certainly don't and said again that I'd already told her how much I like her. She replies with something along the lines of she knows how I feel but she doesn't really understand how someone could feel that way about her, so on general consensus from the replies on here thought I'd test the water and said maybe it's time to put words into practice and show her exactly how I feel about her.

That was 4 hours ago. No reply.
 
Creepy. :p

No worries though, just need to think about it next time you lay it on thick.

I.e. if someone is talking about showering, they are not thinking about sex, unless they are the really crazy kinky type.
 
She sounds like she's got some self-esteem issues, Nem.

The rules are: don't be needy. Wait until she replies and see what she has to say.
 
Nem said:
Well, we were chatting by text earlier, arranged to go out Wednesday evening all good. She said she was about to get in the shower I said I'd suddenly got an image in my head, I get back that I needed my eyes testing, replied with I certainly don't and said again that I'd already told her how much I like her. She replies with something along the lines of she knows how I feel but she doesn't really understand how someone could feel that way about her, so on general consensus from the replies on here thought I'd test the water and said maybe it's time to put words into practice and show her exactly how I feel about her.

That was 4 hours ago. No reply.
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FFS, did we tell you to do it via text? Kids today...:p
 
Nem said:
LOL, I'm 35 :) It just sounded right at the time.

Will see if / what reply I get.
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Either you've creeped her out and she's ignoring it or figuring out how to "let you down gently", or she wants you to chase her a bit more. If she's got self-esteem issues, you'll have to convince her that you really want her, that you really do find her desirable.

Seriously dude, in person, she would have had to respond, you might have had an opportunity for a proper kiss, she'd have been able to look into your eyes. She wouldn't be able to dodge you via the phone and think about all the reasons why she shouldn't mess things up with her "friend".
 
Steampunk said:
Either you've creeped her out and she's ignoring it or figuring out how to "let you down gently", or she wants you to chase her a bit more. If she's got self-esteem issues, you'll have to convince her that you really want her, that you really do find her desirable.

Seriously dude, in person, she would have had to respond, you might have had an opportunity for a proper kiss, she'd have been able to look into your eyes. She wouldn't be able to dodge you via the phone and think about all the reasons why she shouldn't mess things up with her "friend".
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All makes sense when you say it like that :) Thanks everyone, will see what happens.
 
Steampunk said:
I hope you were a bit subtle. "I really like you and I want to get to know you better and see where it goes because I think you're fantastic", rather than "I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO HAVE MY BABIES!!!! MARRY ME!!!"
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I certainly didn't do that ha.
But I don't know if I did the right thing (ie the best thing)

Briefly
She we were arranging cinema times and she said

Was going to see if" friends name " wanted to come. If you were happy with that? She might not want to

It was never suggested this was going to be just us originally
So I feel I've basically said" I'm interested "without hopefully being to 'in your face'
Only said it as she offered an option

So I replied nicely saying I'd rather it was just us two (not in those exact words, more tact)

Not sure if she originally was inviting me to offer 'just us' or not. But I said it anyway!
 
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Since there's no online dating thread anymore...

Does anyone know how the match.com subscription works? If I take out the standard monthly option, do I have to keep it for the year? Or can I cancel it at any time without needing to make any further payments?
 
There are different plans which lock you into different contract lengths. The shorter the contract, the cheaper it'll be. Quidco used to do cashback on a match subscription.
 
I've all but given up - I'm seeing an ex at the moment, but it's more casual than anything because of work.

I did something stupid like 18 hours yesterday, no way I can manage that and give women any real attention.
 
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