The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Narj said:
Good luck dealing with the angry dad of the 18 year old! :D

You're not going to have much to talk about, are you?

The kids thing is always the dealbreaker recently when I meet someone - they've either got some already or want them soon. Sucks, really.
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How old are you?
 
I guess the problem with kids and society now that a lot of people find their careers later (especially if you go to uni) and thus aren't ready for kids so early.
This isn't so bad for men but woman's biological clock can't afford this.

This pushes men like myself to look for younger girls.

Must be hard for career driven women who want kids but find themselves single at mid 30s


So does finding maturity later mean age gaps in relationships are going to get bigger?
If less women wanted kids this wouldn't happen, but instincts are powerful
 
malachi said:
But if you want to avoid any of that...yeah, you can date that 18 to 25 year old, which many men older than us are doing these days.....less likely to have baggage.
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*ahem*.... o/

Narj said:
You're not going to have much to talk about, are you?
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Who says anything about talking? I just need to get a bit fitter....:p

Ayahuasca said:
Nothing says beta like bringing up another males kids.
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:rolleyes:
 
413x said:
If you're dating someone 36 with no kids who wants kids it's going to come in the very near future isn't it?
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I will deal with that problem when it arises......if I am still with her or anyone else for that matter :)

Narj said:
Good luck dealing with the angry dad of the 18 year old! :D
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Lets be honest, if an 18 year old girl is dating an older man in their 30's or above. More than likely they will have "daddy issues" due to absent fathers, so I doubt the angry dad will be around to be a problem lol.

But on a serious note, I take my hat off to the men of the world who take on another mans child. You have bigger balls than me and I salute you for it.
 
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Plenty of women in their late 20's and 30's with legitimate reasons for not wanting kids. It's not 1970 anymore where everyone has to settle down and have kids barely breaking into their 20's. That said, if you're dating in your 30's then you have to accept that perhaps there'll be some baggage. Whether she/he's worth it is down to individual circumstances. I know for one that if I met the right person, then I don't think that if she had kid(s) that it'd bother me that much.
 
Dooksy said:
Whether she/he's worth it is down to individual circumstances. I know for one that if I met the right person, then I don't think that if she had kid(s) that it'd bother me that much.
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It can work fine until things get serious and you inevitably want to move in together. If the kids are still young then it becomes a whole new ball game.

Going out with a partner and their kids on the odd trip can be fun, but putting up with someone else's offspring (not to mention not being able to discipline them) in your own pad is something I couldn't handle. I take my hat off to people that manage it, though.

Dating in your 30's is a bit of a pain when you don't want children. As above, it's either go much younger or date older women whose kids have moved out. Both of those options have their own challenges IMO.
 
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CREATIVE!11 said:
The kids thing is beginning hitting me.... tinder with all woman my age with kids, i'm 29....

I don't ever want kids, nor do I want the baggage of someone elses. :D
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36 here and I'm the same. It's a nasty horrible age to date. Most single women in their 30s are either obese, angry or desperate.

The happiest guys I've met or hang with are all in their 30s or 40s, single and childfree. Must be something about that :p
 
regulus said:
The happiest guys I've met or hang with are all in their 30s or 40s, single and childfree. Must be something about that :p
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Fast-forward 40 years and you'll find a bunch of lonely and depressed old men. That is, if they live that long. Single men have a shorter life expectancy.
 
Quartz said:
Fast-forward 40 years and you'll find a bunch of lonely and depressed old men. That is, if they live that long. Single men have a shorter life expectancy.
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Oh come on, it depends on how you live your life. If you sit on your bum all day and have no family, social circles, hobbies or interests then maybe, but for me, I have so much going on that I'm pretty much never bored.

Thinking that you need another human to be complete is a pretty poor assumption to make. A partner should always complement you rather than being something you depend upon. It's nice to be in a relationship but if you're a sad, lonely mess outside of one then you have other problems to deal with. :p
 
Quartz said:
Fast-forward 40 years and you'll find a bunch of lonely and depressed old men. That is, if they live that long. Single men have a shorter life expectancy.
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What does sad and lonely have to do with being single or married?

Or do you need someone to 'complete' you?
 
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