Soldato
- Joined
- 21 Apr 2007
- Posts
- 6,632
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
"I have big hands, but like to grab boobs so must be DD"
It's probably why I don't have many friends. People I like to associate with (both sexes) fall somewhere in the middle.
More often then not quirky/geeky.
People with lots of interests who don't really seem to care about these terms much.
I personally wouldn't see a person who boxes up someone into such categories as friend or partner material.
But I'm also no longer driven by money, status, etc and don't want a trophy partner. I suppose I like people like myself. Not someone who expects me to lead all the time or be submissive all the time.
Everyone is so different. You just can't say 'all women' or 'all men'
Last edited:
The temptation to try that just to see the uproar it would create is quite appealing.
Nah....you just attract a bunch of whales. That wouldn't be appealing.
That was my first thought actually!
Was actually going to comment on that previous post about Lauren and her search for a boyfriend, the really sad thing about that advert, even if it is real, is she likely would have attracted someone/something despite everything that is so wrong on it.
Was actually going to comment on that previous post about Lauren and her search for a boyfriend, the really sad thing about that advert, even if it is real, is she likely would have attracted someone/something despite everything that is so wrong on it.
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Jun 2012
- Posts
- 9,898
- Location
- South Wales
I always find the talk of beta and alphas so cringe worthy, sounds like something straight out of red pill because it is.
Yep. I play World of Warcraft, I've always been interested in PC gaming, but I also lift weights, watch MMA, have a job with lots of responsibility and decision making, and have a long term relationship where I'm not a push over in the slightest. I do what I enjoy.
Put yourself in my life for 5 seconds. Any longer and you might turn mad.
37, always lived with the parents. Had mental health issues since I was young.
Socially inept/lacking social skills whatever since as far back as I can remember. Pretty much became withdrawn from society when I was 12/13.
Dont talk much to people,family included, never have never will.
Dont drink alcohol,smoke, no interest in going to pubs,clubs,restaurants particularly where it involves a lot of people etc etc.
I guess my interests are watching sport on tv, cycling,walking and I like dogs.The odd video game here and there.Nothing else really.
Dont care that I dont have any male friends, however I guess im at the stage, even with my troubles, a girlfriend would be good for me. But due to my social inadequacy and not even being able to support myself financially and some sort of miracle where a girl took genuine interest in me, the social apsects that would involve, it is practically impossible.
Also, Im not the bonniest looking worm in the worm farm and I'm pretty much an insomniac, im 189cm and 13 stone, 13 freaking stone skin and bone. I have body dysmorphic disorder where I hate being in my body. I look and feel 2 stone underweight.
I couldnt even go to an escort. Thats even me assuming she would let me in the flat when she answers the door and looks at me. If she accepted me into the flat I would probably have a heart attack due to my anxiety anyway, being in that situation. You know, I don't have a mobile phone to arrange that sort of thing anyway.
If this post helps even one person to get motivated/inspired and persue their dream girl with success then it was worth it.
Good luck.
Unless your me, dont let your wet dreams be your reality.
'Goes off for a six mile intensive cycle to let some steam out'
37, always lived with the parents. Had mental health issues since I was young.
Socially inept/lacking social skills whatever since as far back as I can remember. Pretty much became withdrawn from society when I was 12/13.
Dont talk much to people,family included, never have never will.
Dont drink alcohol,smoke, no interest in going to pubs,clubs,restaurants particularly where it involves a lot of people etc etc.
I guess my interests are watching sport on tv, cycling,walking and I like dogs.The odd video game here and there.Nothing else really.
Dont care that I dont have any male friends, however I guess im at the stage, even with my troubles, a girlfriend would be good for me. But due to my social inadequacy and not even being able to support myself financially and some sort of miracle where a girl took genuine interest in me, the social apsects that would involve, it is practically impossible.
Also, Im not the bonniest looking worm in the worm farm and I'm pretty much an insomniac, im 189cm and 13 stone, 13 freaking stone skin and bone. I have body dysmorphic disorder where I hate being in my body. I look and feel 2 stone underweight.
I couldnt even go to an escort. Thats even me assuming she would let me in the flat when she answers the door and looks at me. If she accepted me into the flat I would probably have a heart attack due to my anxiety anyway, being in that situation. You know, I don't have a mobile phone to arrange that sort of thing anyway.
If this post helps even one person to get motivated/inspired and persue their dream girl with success then it was worth it.
Good luck.
Unless your me, dont let your wet dreams be your reality.
'Goes off for a six mile intensive cycle to let some steam out'
So?
You're not abnormal, it's just the way you are. The only things I would actively work on fixing is your financial situation and trying to overcome whatever issues you have with regards to your body. Hit the gym 2-3 times a week and eat a bit more. Time goes quick and so will your body change too
Honestly pal, groups of friends, girlfriends, social nonsense ... it's really over rated. It's just rubbish that people keep themselves busy with as they're not happy being alone. Which is fine. But you seem perfectly normal and happy to be on your own, so you're really on par with everyone else there. Just in a different way.
Get yourself a little whiteboard and write down 3 things you want to actively work on bettering the next 30 days. And keep chipping away at it. You're still young, lots of time to improve yourself
Last edited:
Soldato
- Joined
- 21 Mar 2013
- Posts
- 3,032
- Location
- Lincolnshire
Original posts for context..
Some of you may remember my post recently regarding a girl from Tinder who seemed far too good to be true, far and away out of my league even. Then i went into the field for a week, and we'd see if she was still there when i got back. Turns out she was, and that was 2 weeks ago now, since then we've been speaking pretty much constantly when we get chance.
I'm in the field again this week, and she's in France, then she moves to London for uni so haven't had a chance to meet up yet, but we plan to basically at the earliest opportunity.
She seems keen, has told me so, and also told me that she's 'really really interested'. This was shortly preceded by her saying i gave her the impression i only wanted her as a 'close friend', nothing more. This is also backed up by various other conversations on the subject, but i'm not going to bore you.
Her Tinder, instagram, facebook, snapchat, whatsapp all check out though
She does genuinely seem real However, jury's still out until we meet up, and hey, we'll take it from there. FWIW, she's never heard anything of a sniff of the 'out of my league' part 
She's also seen a few pics in my uniform and she loves it.
Definitely getting cat-fished
Matched with a girl on Tinder at the start of last week. She is absolutely unbelievable. Expecting a message at some point 'COME SEE MORE AT www.DodgyLookingUrl.com' but nothing like that so far. Been speaking most of the week except for yesterday. She seems really keen, and while I don't (think I ) have self-negativity issues, she's surely far and away out of my league.
Still, awesome to chat to, seen her on Instagram & Snapchat(before this i did genuinely think it was a bot/fake) and now have her number for whatsapp. All checks out...Still don't believe it for a second
Anyway, I'm on exercise this week so will have no contact with the outside world from tomorrow morning until Friday so let's see if she's still around at that point. I told her this and her reply was that she'd still be around, and told me to not get lost/broken.
Nah, surely she can't be real....can she?
I've certainly not admitted that I think she's out my league; nor will I.
Some of you may remember my post recently regarding a girl from Tinder who seemed far too good to be true, far and away out of my league even. Then i went into the field for a week, and we'd see if she was still there when i got back. Turns out she was, and that was 2 weeks ago now, since then we've been speaking pretty much constantly when we get chance.
I'm in the field again this week, and she's in France, then she moves to London for uni so haven't had a chance to meet up yet, but we plan to basically at the earliest opportunity.
She seems keen, has told me so, and also told me that she's 'really really interested'. This was shortly preceded by her saying i gave her the impression i only wanted her as a 'close friend', nothing more. This is also backed up by various other conversations on the subject, but i'm not going to bore you.
Her Tinder, instagram, facebook, snapchat, whatsapp all check out though
She does genuinely seem real However, jury's still out until we meet up, and hey, we'll take it from there. FWIW, she's never heard anything of a sniff of the 'out of my league' part She's also seen a few pics in my uniform and she loves it. Definitely getting cat-fished
Last edited:
So?
You're not abnormal, it's just the way you are. The only things I would actively work on fixing is your financial situation and trying to overcome whatever issues you have with regards to your body. Hit the gym 2-3 times a week and eat a bit more. Time goes quick and so will your body change too
Honestly pal, groups of friends, girlfriends, social nonsense ... it's really over rated. It's just rubbish that people keep themselves busy with as they're not happy being alone. Which is fine. But you seem perfectly normal and happy to be on your own, so you're really on par with everyone else there. Just in a different way.
Get yourself a little whiteboard and write down 3 things you want to actively work on bettering the next 30 days. And keep chipping away at it. You're still young, lots of time to improve yourself
Trust me, with my social ineptitude and my appearance I look and act an odd person, which I am. I aint looking for empathy, I am no saint and do have bad habits. I'm not a malicious person though.
Try having severe BDD growing up in the late 80's/early90's. One time I represented the school in my age group for the 100 metres when I was 10/11 at meadowbank stadium in Edinburgh for some school sports thingy. I didn't want to be there at all and once I had to put my shorts on and had to go out on the track I lost it mentally. To make it worse there was about 100+ wild kids in the stadium all looking at my skinny legs and body. In my case with BDD it aint as easy as going to a gym, using dumbells/exercise machines at home.
Its funny you should mention a whiteboard, the last two times ive seen my therapist I have noticed her acting a little bit different. Maybe I'm paranoid at my old age, but I think I have some sort of outside influence obsession going on.......
Last edited:
Soldato
- Joined
- 29 Dec 2014
- Posts
- 2,577
- Location
- The "North"
Hi everyone, I haven't posted in this thread before but I'm a bit confused.
I've known this girl for over a year (In which she told me she wanted to date me) however at the time I turned her down as I felt I wasn't ready emotionally (Lot's of big changes in my life). Anyway fast forward a year, and her breaking up with her boyfriend (of 6 months) recently I started chatting to her for about 2 months.
She recently told me she wasn't ready for a relationship (Irony from last year) and told me it was better if I moved on, despite this and feeling a sad ultimately I'm rather happy and haven't taken it too badly, should I have?
The girl in question has been hurt badly emotionally before and I don't want to scare her off or hurt her (Hence last years actions) however I still like her and I'm confused on what to do over the situation, do I move on to avoid making her uncomfortable or do I just wait with less contact as we chat regularly at the moment.
Apologies that the format is a bit scatty but I'm not used to this kind of post online
I've known this girl for over a year (In which she told me she wanted to date me) however at the time I turned her down as I felt I wasn't ready emotionally (Lot's of big changes in my life). Anyway fast forward a year, and her breaking up with her boyfriend (of 6 months) recently I started chatting to her for about 2 months.
She recently told me she wasn't ready for a relationship (Irony from last year) and told me it was better if I moved on, despite this and feeling a sad ultimately I'm rather happy and haven't taken it too badly, should I have?
The girl in question has been hurt badly emotionally before and I don't want to scare her off or hurt her (Hence last years actions) however I still like her and I'm confused on what to do over the situation, do I move on to avoid making her uncomfortable or do I just wait with less contact as we chat regularly at the moment.
Apologies that the format is a bit scatty but I'm not used to this kind of post online
Soldato
- Joined
- 29 Dec 2014
- Posts
- 2,577
- Location
- The "North"
So I should just move on then? She claims she doesn't know how she feels about anyone at the moment but I thought it might have been a bit of a cover up. Wish people would just tell me straight to be honest as it saves the faffing about as I can be naive when it comes to this stuff
