The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
That's a very good point. Around two years ago I started getting myself fit. I lost my dadbod beer belly and slimmed from a 36" waist to a 30" waist while increasing chest size by two inches. Recently my wife has become obsessed with getting herself fit too.
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This happened to me too when the kids came especially the last one it went rapidly down hill. Looking back you need to pull together and still make time for yourselves, this is were we went wrong and i can see it now.
go to the gym 4 times a week, keep myself fit.
I honestly feel she doesn't find me attractive, after she worked a night she can stay up till 11 round her mates, but if it's with me shell be asleep by 7-8 or on her mobile.
I love my kids and family but hate the fact she doesn't really have time for me, sex is on her schedule after she's watched her programmes and in bed by 11/12 pm which sometimes is so late my wood is not so woody.
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I hear you brother. It's quite funny that a couple of nights of month when it suits her, then there's a look in her eye.
And that time isn't around Eastenders, GBBO, Corrie, etc etc.. or the passion killing Crime Channel of watching a horrific murder get solved.
It is a two way street. And you can see how affairs would start. Away from your own home life with someone that flirts with you BUT yes, you've got to work at it with your home life. Turn off the phones and TV for one evening. Play some old fashioned board games.
Try to remember why you fell for eachother in the first place.
And bluntly, yes. If her libido is rock bottom, she won't find you attractive and have more fun with her friends.
Maybe her constant use of social media is giving her a warped perspective on things, it must be very difficult living with someone who just wants to watch TV and check facebook.
If it's too late I'd suggest telling her no instead of doing it on her terms.
If it's too late I'd suggest telling her no instead of doing it on her terms.
It generally concerns me that we are really just not meant to be in long term relationships. As in there are so many ways and so many times things go wrong to end it. Or worse you get stuck in a dead and horrible situation and end up miserable.
Is it just our instincts that self sabotage us?
Social media addiction is one of the awful things about society (especially for women)
I'm concerned in general we soon won't have to remember or think due to the increasing penetration of Internet, adverts and social normals into our lives
Is it just our instincts that self sabotage us?
Social media addiction is one of the awful things about society (especially for women)
I'm concerned in general we soon won't have to remember or think due to the increasing penetration of Internet, adverts and social normals into our lives
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How old are the kids and how long you been together?
People won't like to hear it but it's biological, women are naturally hypergamous and look to mate with the best possible male in a given scenario. Chemicals change over the course of a relationship that will make her find other men more attractive, especially if she's already had kids with the male she's currently with. Oxytocin is a hell of a hormone, and when it's not being produced at the rate it was the effect is people falling out of love.
Men will also look to mate with as many females as possible under natural circumstances, the only thing that's changed is society has told us it's wrong. We're still hard wired that way and it doesn't look like it's going to evolve.
No I understand. You've been ensconced in your world of 'looking weird and being weird' so long you've all your arguments and excuses lined up. I bet you can easily remember five situations where you've been laughed at or felt weird about your so called shortcomings? These situations appeared to have defined yourself to yourself about who you supposedly are. I can remember five this week alone, the worse one tripping over words when introducing myself to a room full of people, giving the impression that I didn't know my own name.
I remember working for a local housing authority as a Project Manager, meeting all sorts of interesting characters. Some people were so far removed from the real world that they struggled to have basic conversations. But oh boy, when you ask them about their 'long term illnesses', they all turned into golden-tongued Shakespeares. Always used to make me smile how well practiced their excuses were and how comfortable they've become in that world. They've repeated these so often for years that it's not just who they are, it's also self fulfilling.
Anyway, try the whiteboard thing. It certainly works for this weirdo and keep the lazy guy I'm constantly battling inside me at bay.
Been living with my gf a week now. No single arguments not even with moving stress. I've been stressed simply from all the **** that needs doing but nothing more.
Crazy to think I will have known her (not dating) for 12 months in a couple of weeks.
Crazy to think I will have known her (not dating) for 12 months in a couple of weeks.
I hear you brother. It's quite funny that a couple of nights of month when it suits her, then there's a look in her eye.
Sounds like the typical thing of women being completely controlled by hormones. Almost guaranteed that those couple of nights are around when she's ovulating!
My wife and I have been together 15 years and we've never had an argument. Things are always worked out by communication and compromise.
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Got a dog, fair better!
I go every 3 months thank you very much, all clear
dean street express is the clinic I recommend, book on line pop in and out all done and dusted very quickly and results in 6 hours (HIV instant)
if you dont need bloods just the swap and urine tests you can be in and out in 5 mins.
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More updates, so I went no contact over the weekend and I've had a pretty decent weekend. However whilst I was chatting to a mutual friend of both of us this evening and all of a sudden she went bezerk and started saying I shouldn't chat about her (Just said I didn't mind being her friend) but she wouldn't tell me what I'd said when I confronted her. This is a joke as I don't mind moving on and being friends (She had another male friend over) but I sure as heck won't be told what I can talk about and who I can talk to 
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Double Post Oops 
Soldato
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This is why i wont ever get married,I say to people "im never getting married" and they say,We all said that..
But im serious,The amount of people i know who were great upon until they got married then everything went down the pan (and they usually ended up splitting up and a nasty war begins).
Imo marriage doesn't change anything,If you love someone it shouldn't matter if you ever get married or not.
And i certainly wouldn't get married just for the paper so if the relationship fails she gets half of everything,thats complete...
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Had a date today but looking back I really wasn't on my A game. Now feel like an idiot as she was actually really nice.
Really don't feel cut out for it at the moment, but the only way to succeed is to keep at it i guess.
Really don't feel cut out for it at the moment, but the only way to succeed is to keep at it i guess.