The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

XeNoN89 · 10 Oct 2016 at 11:56

PermaChanged said:
There's been more purchases for me from the new girl, I'm going to pay her for them and call it off, it's all a bit too much and I'm pretty sure now that it's not going to go anywhere long term.

It's been fun but I've already had the first bit of drama with her this Saturday night. I was out with friends, as was she on a separate outing but we ended up in the same nightclub. When she saw me I was chatting to an old school friend, this school friend and I go back 25 years, but because she's female I'm not allowed to talk to her apparently. She kicked off at me, I walked away as I don't want drama or any hassle.

In the morning there's a string of messages on my phone, blah blah blah, heartbroken etc etc - just CBA, I've known you three weeks, chill out!

3 weeks and already acting like that?

Run, now.

Ayahuasca · 10 Oct 2016 at 12:48

Clubbing, sex toys and jealousy

Good name for a book

Tefal · 10 Oct 2016 at 12:51

PermaChanged said:
There's been more purchases for me from the new girl, I'm going to pay her for them and call it off, it's all a bit too much and I'm pretty sure now that it's not going to go anywhere long term.

It's been fun but I've already had the first bit of drama with her this Saturday night. I was out with friends, as was she on a separate outing but we ended up in the same nightclub. When she saw me I was chatting to an old school friend, this school friend and I go back 25 years, but because she's female I'm not allowed to talk to her apparently. She kicked off at me, I walked away as I don't want drama or any hassle.

In the morning there's a string of messages on my phone, blah blah blah, heartbroken etc etc - just CBA, I've known you three weeks, chill out!

told ya you needed to get this **** sortte the second it started.

nitram100 · 10 Oct 2016 at 13:16

PermaChanged said:
There's been more purchases for me from the new girl, I'm going to pay her for them and call it off, it's all a bit too much and I'm pretty sure now that it's not going to go anywhere long term.

It's been fun but I've already had the first bit of drama with her this Saturday night. I was out with friends, as was she on a separate outing but we ended up in the same nightclub. When she saw me I was chatting to an old school friend, this school friend and I go back 25 years, but because she's female I'm not allowed to talk to her apparently. She kicked off at me, I walked away as I don't want drama or any hassle.

In the morning there's a string of messages on my phone, blah blah blah, heartbroken etc etc - just CBA, I've known you three weeks, chill out!

Get rid of, ASAP.

You need trust in a relationship. Been dating a girl from Spain for 8 months now and we're getting on amazingly and love each other to bits because there is trust and lots of it.

She dances Salsa, Bachata etc so obviously with guys, touching her etc doesn't bother me in the slightest.

In return for that trust I give her, she said nothing and was absolutely fine when I went to Ibiza in August with a female friend with whom I shared a room.

No trust = No dice!

Get rid mate.

Hades · 10 Oct 2016 at 13:21

PermaChanged said:
It's been fun but I've already had the first bit of drama with her this Saturday night. I was out with friends, as was she on a separate outing but we ended up in the same nightclub. When she saw me I was chatting to an old school friend, this school friend and I go back 25 years, but because she's female I'm not allowed to talk to her apparently. She kicked off at me, I walked away as I don't want drama or any hassle.

In the morning there's a string of messages on my phone, blah blah blah, heartbroken etc etc - just CBA, I've known you three weeks, chill out!

https://youtu.be/7FPELc1wEvk

Steampunk · 10 Oct 2016 at 13:24

PermaChanged said:
There's been more purchases for me from the new girl, I'm going to pay her for them and call it off, it's all a bit too much and I'm pretty sure now that it's not going to go anywhere long term.

It's been fun but I've already had the first bit of drama with her this Saturday night. I was out with friends, as was she on a separate outing but we ended up in the same nightclub. When she saw me I was chatting to an old school friend, this school friend and I go back 25 years, but because she's female I'm not allowed to talk to her apparently. She kicked off at me, I walked away as I don't want drama or any hassle.

In the morning there's a string of messages on my phone, blah blah blah, heartbroken etc etc - just CBA, I've known you three weeks, chill out!

Lol! She thinks she's bought you with gifts and sex.

ikillbears · 10 Oct 2016 at 14:34

regulus said:
It even happens in this very thread sometimes, some idiot trying his very little hardest to shame you into HIS chosen lifestyle. There was a guy here a few months ago, can't remember his screen name now, harping on about how we'll all end up alone and snide remarks like that. I perused his posting history and I can unequivocally say that I would literally blow my brains out in the middle of a busy street if I had even a week of his life. No money, debt to his eye balls, crap menial job, lives in a rubbish northern hole of a town, late 30s with probably little hope of career improvement. I found his Facebook account and saw his partner. Think enlarged blowfish with the face of a camel. Each facet of his life is my worst nightmare. Yet he's obviously under the impression that we all should end up like that because that's what HE likes. I did wonder if he really is as happy as he claims to be as he was trying awfully hard to shame people for choosing differently. I think I know the answer to that

not attacking you but this is highly ironic

Fuzz · 10 Oct 2016 at 21:35

Hades said:
https://youtu.be/7FPELc1wEvk

In a "nut" shell.

PermaChanged · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:06

Hands washed - she's upset because of how deeply she'd fallen for me. I've done this to 3 girls now accidentally post relationship which only ended in July, why oh why do they fall so hard and quick!?

Ayahuasca · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:21

8=======)

IvanDobskey · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:32

Wow, just wow! Some serious bunny boilers out there!

Makes me so relieved to have found someone sane and decent

Have to say that from what I've been reading, I'd have run for the hills far earlier

Ayahuasca · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:39

How long have you been with this sane and decent person? Not wanting to **** on your parade but people can change hugely after a few years.

413x · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:51

PermaChanged said:
There's been more purchases for me from the new girl, I'm going to pay her for them and call it off, it's all a bit too much and I'm pretty sure now that it's not going to go anywhere long term.

It's been fun but I've already had the first bit of drama with her this Saturday night. I was out with friends, as was she on a separate outing but we ended up in the same nightclub. When she saw me I was chatting to an old school friend, this school friend and I go back 25 years, but because she's female I'm not allowed to talk to her apparently. She kicked off at me, I walked away as I don't want drama or any hassle.

In the morning there's a string of messages on my phone, blah blah blah, heartbroken etc etc - just CBA, I've known you three weeks, chill out!

Hope she doesn't go full on crazy and come 'get' you!
Braver guy then me. But yeah she's far to invested and probably would be very erratic in a proper relationship.
It's too crazy behaviour for me and I like have no problems with slightly clingy girls.

413x · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:52

PermaChanged said:
Hands washed - she's upset because of how deeply she'd fallen for me. I've done this to 3 girls now accidentally post relationship which only ended in July, why oh why do they fall so hard and quick!?

Maybe its easy to find girls like that as they are looking/desperate?
I dunno, I don't think any good comes from that type of person. Things should ideall build over time not peak in under a month.
That's my view

IvanDobskey · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:53

Ayahuasca said:
How long have you been with this sane and decent person? Not wanting to **** on your parade but people can change hugely after a few years.

Been with her 3 years now. Lived with her over 2 years. I know her pretty well

413x · 11 Oct 2016 at 09:54

TechMinerUK said:
That's pretty much what I said as I've had enough of being messed about, just need to move forward now

Yeah, just something that is ingrained in me (Need to work on it to be honest)

Live and learn. Long as you learn from it is the main point. You know it's going nowhere. It can be hard if you are susceptible to being too nice. But it sounds like you know what needs doing. Good luck

TechMinerUK · 11 Oct 2016 at 10:12

413x said:
Live and learn. Long as you learn from it is the main point. You know it's going nowhere. It can be hard if you are susceptible to being too nice. But it sounds like you know what needs doing. Good luck

Thanks and yep sometimes I'm just naive and hope for the best which is ironic as my motto is always "Hope for the best, plan for the worst as Murphy's law"

Tefal · 11 Oct 2016 at 10:14

PermaChanged said:
Hands washed - she's upset because of how deeply she'd fallen for me. I've done this to 3 girls now accidentally post relationship which only ended in July, why oh why do they fall so hard and quick!?

Because you notice it happening to the point you mock them online for it but refuse to clear up the confusion before the harm is done.

If thats cowardice, awkwardness or you jist enjoy the attention is something you'll have to work out

PermaChanged · 11 Oct 2016 at 10:35

I have to disagree, I never mocked her here, I dished out facts and how I found it too intense to start with and was playing it cool with her - I didn't lead her on or give her a false sense of how I felt. I still maintain she could be everything I would want in a future partner, but the drama and intensity was too much too soon and it scared me off.

Girls seem to flip the crazy switch on me, and I back off as soon as that happens and don't stick around for things to get messy.

Tefal · 11 Oct 2016 at 10:41

PermaChanged said:
I have to disagree, I never mocked her here, I dished out facts and how I found it too intense to start with and was playing it cool with her - I didn't lead her on or give her a false sense of how I felt. I still maintain she could be everything I would want in a future partner, but the drama and intensity was too much too soon and it scared me off.

Girls seem to flip the crazy switch on me, and I back off as soon as that happens and don't stick around for things to get messy.

you lead her on by not telling her.

and posting opnline that a girl is crazy and buying you sex toys etc is mocking because you knew exactly what would happen here when you posted that with everyone calling her names.