The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Can you filter to exclude no kids, BBW now etc?

I'm sure I read somewhere they removed that option on certain dating sites and there was an uproar.
 
As a single Dad who has dated single mums I personally wouldn't recommend it, but that's because there are to many schedules to consider and getting any alone time whatsoever is near impossible!

However dating a single mum when you don't have children of your own can work...
 
As a single Dad who has dated single mums I personally wouldn't recommend it, but that's because there are to many schedules to consider and getting any alone time whatsoever is near impossible!

However dating a single mum when you don't have children of your own can work...

Yeh I can imagine two single parents dating is a logistical nightmare.

Don't think I will be pursuing this one anyway as she gone mightily cold all of sudden despite asking to see me again after the first date. Cba playing games so she is going to be given the mighty swerve I think!
 
However dating a single mum when you don't have children of your own can work...

It can still be a massive pain when the ex wants to be awkward.

Also it gets very complicated if things get serious. For example can you handle someone else's kid living in your house and disturbing the peace and quiet? I'm a selfish git so couldn't do it.
 
Can you filter to exclude no kids, BBW now etc?

I'm sure I read somewhere they removed that option on certain dating sites and there was an uproar.

You can on Plenty of fish. The only downside is that most women set their body as 'average' average can sometimes turn out to be athletic, other times massive! Don't get me wrong, i don't mind curvy women at all (prefer them to thin) but when soneone has huge wobbly legs its not one of my turn on's
 
Yeh I can imagine two single parents dating is a logistical nightmare.

I'm a single father of 2. My GF, met on PoF has 1 child. I don't have an ex and my GFs ex isn't interested so we're lucky in one respect we don't have mental ex's getting in the way. We can manage 3 between us quite well.
 
Remember Amy, the 23 year old? The one who had 'WhatsApp issues'. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and was meant to go around hers on Friday. Shock horror, that never happened so I told her whatever it is that's happening between us, it's off. I did it at 2 in the morning when ordering a kebab. :)

So the next day I went out with a few mates and one girl was out with us who I sort of knew from my local, I'd always fancied her but she had a fella. She left him earlier this year so she's been single a few months now and this is the first time I was out drinking properly with her. Long story short, she ended up back at mine and we're going for a meal on Thursday night.

Top lass, little bit crazy but in a good way, likes drinking, divine figure and just turned 24 (I'm 35 in September). What could possibly go wrong?
 
Remember Amy, the 23 year old? The one who had 'WhatsApp issues'. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and was meant to go around hers on Friday. Shock horror, that never happened so I told her whatever it is that's happening between us, it's off. I did it at 2 in the morning when ordering a kebab. :)

Good for you. No point in being kept hanging for someone that just wants to play games. If she wanted to see you, she would see you. She doesn't really want to see you.

So the next day I went out with a few mates and one girl was out with us who I sort of knew from my local, I'd always fancied her but she had a fella. She left him earlier this year so she's been single a few months now and this is the first time I was out drinking properly with her. Long story short, she ended up back at mine and we're going for a meal on Thursday night.

Top lass, little bit crazy but in a good way, likes drinking, divine figure and just turned 24 (I'm 35 in September). What could possibly go wrong?

Nothing wrong with a little bit of crazy in a good way. You should be asking yourself what could go right. Some people are just great, so you don't always have to go looking for the cloud in front of the silver lining. Not everyone is going to make you miserable and play games, some people will just make you happy and make your life better. Continue seeing the new girl under the assumption that she's as good as you think, at least until something proves otherwise. And that might never happen.
 
Good for you. No point in being kept hanging for someone that just wants to play games. If she wanted to see you, she would see you. She doesn't really want to see you.

Thanks. I feel much better about it all now. She's very, very hot so that's obviously a kick in the balls but in terms of how I felt when texting her, with her being hot & cold, I'm really not that bothered. I feel as if it's a weight off my shoulders.

Nothing wrong with a little bit of crazy in a good way. You should be asking yourself what could go right. Some people are just great, so you don't always have to go looking for the cloud in front of the silver lining. Not everyone is going to make you miserable and play games, some people will just make you happy and make your life better. Continue seeing the new girl under the assumption that she's as good as you think, at least until something proves otherwise. And that might never happen.
She's a really cool girl actually, I have a female friend who is mates with her who has basically told me to go for it. The girl & I are after the same things; nothing too serious, just dating, chilling out and of course adult fun. See how it goes, her ex is an idiot who just walked all over her so she's not used to being treated well. For example we're going for dinner and she's never been taken out to dinner. Like what the hell?!
 
Thanks. I feel much better about it all now. She's very, very hot so that's obviously a kick in the balls but in terms of how I felt when texting her, with her being hot & cold, I'm really not that bothered. I feel as if it's a weight off my shoulders.

The thing about hot women (especially if that is all they have to offer), is that there is always another one around the corner. Just being good looking isn't enough to let you give her a free pass on bad behaviour. There's plenty of women out there you will find attractive, so you don't have to deal with the ones who treat people like **** because they are shallow, entitled and selfish, but think they get can get away with it because they are pretty. It takes more than just hotness to make a relationship work and be fun.

She's a really cool girl actually, I have a female friend who is mates with her who has basically told me to go for it. The girl & I are after the same things; nothing too serious, just dating, chilling out and of course adult fun. See how it goes, her ex is an idiot who just walked all over her so she's not used to being treated well. For example we're going for dinner and she's never been taken out to dinner. Like what the hell?!

Oh wow, you should thank the ex, he is going to make you look like Prince Charming just for doing the ordinary relationship things you do when you care about somebody. It's going to be embarrassing how she's going to look at you when you do the basics, let alone the extras.
 
Dinner to him was in Spoons or Harvester and he'd always make her pay half. They'd go to the pub together and he'd turn his back and speak to his mates, letting her do her own thing. It took her a while to realise that she was just being walked over and used as a trophy.

If I'm in a pub with mates and have a GF with me, she'd be chatting to my mates because I'd want everyone to be friends with each other. There were 6 of us out on Saturday and it was a good laugh.
 
Do remember though as much as treating someone like that isn't good, she did still find him attractive despite all that, and a guy who goes the complete other way and treats her too nice can just come across too strong and it'll just be unattractive. How often do you hear about girls preferring bad boys?
 
Yeah, I know, that's why I'm not going to do anything special or act differently. I'm just going to be me and if she likes that then good, if not for some reason I've been getting loads of attention from women recently so I'm sure I'll be fine.
 
Last night I had a date with a diff girl who is only a year older than me, shes a single mum which I was a really conflicted with prior to starting to look at dating as I didn't know whether I wanted to be with a woman who already had a child, but, I decided to give it a go and we really hit it off on texts before hand.

I think the issue is the older that we get, the pool of women who haven't had children get smaller and smaller. It's just going to be one of those things. But if you're getting on well with her, i wouldn't let that bother you :).

Remember Amy, the 23 year old? The one who had 'WhatsApp issues'. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and was meant to go around hers on Friday. Shock horror, that never happened so I told her whatever it is that's happening between us, it's off. I did it at 2 in the morning when ordering a kebab. :)

So the next day I went out with a few mates and one girl was out with us who I sort of knew from my local, I'd always fancied her but she had a fella. She left him earlier this year so she's been single a few months now and this is the first time I was out drinking properly with her. Long story short, she ended up back at mine and we're going for a meal on Thursday night.

Top lass, little bit crazy but in a good way, likes drinking, divine figure and just turned 24 (I'm 35 in September). What could possibly go wrong?

Did she respond back? I think you knew a while back when she was blowing hot and cold that she was going to be like it. Good on you for lining a new date up quickly!
 
You can on Plenty of fish. The only downside is that most women set their body as 'average' average can sometimes turn out to be athletic, other times massive! Don't get me wrong, i don't mind curvy women at all (prefer them to thin) but when soneone has huge wobbly legs its not one of my turn on's

Some confuse few extra pounds with few extra stone

Headshots only can be a give away

Had mates who have dates single mums and the kids / father always got in the way of doing things. E.g you arrange a night out or day away and the father accidentally on purpose picks the child up late so the evening is wrecked.

Met one lovely lady and her EX did this nearly ever time I was to meet her , what a git
 
Did she respond back? I think you knew a while back when she was blowing hot and cold that she was going to be like it. Good on you for lining a new date up quickly!

Yes, she did. She apologised for being so quiet and having a lot on and being busy blah blah. So I just said 'look on the day I'm meant to be coming around you blanked me most of the day, you can't be that busy where you can't spend 15 seconds writing a message'. I told her I was fed up of being treated like a mug. She apologised again and said that wasn't her intention, I've not replied yet, not sure I can be bothered.

And cheers, it was kinda my days target on Saturday, just wasn't so sure I could pull it off or even secure a date.
 
Yes, she did. She apologised for being so quiet and having a lot on and being busy blah blah. So I just said 'look on the day I'm meant to be coming around you blanked me most of the day, you can't be that busy where you can't spend 15 seconds writing a message'. I told her I was fed up of being treated like a mug. She apologised again and said that wasn't her intention, I've not replied yet, not sure I can be bothered.

And cheers, it was kinda my days target on Saturday, just wasn't so sure I could pull it off or even secure a date.

Yep as you say, if she really wanted this to go somewhere, she'd make the effort, even after you've called it off. For her to just shrug her shoulders and move on, i think that gives you your answer.
 
Too many girls around to accept petty behaviour. It's very easy to get invested in the girl you ate currently talking to. I'm guilty as charged there.

Good for moving on!
 
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