Do you have anything next to your bed?

Narj · 11 Sep 2017 at 13:07

Freefaller said:
My wife.

Making her sleep on the floor is a bit harsh.

Uther · 11 Sep 2017 at 13:13

Two swords, a dirk, a bow, several arrows with armour piercing bodkin tips, and a shield. Think I'm pretty much covered against intruders.
I do need an axe though, just to be sure.

Vonhelmet · 11 Sep 2017 at 13:44

Uther said:
Two swords, a dirk, a bow, several arrows with armour piercing bodkin tips, and a shield. Think I'm pretty much covered against intruders.
I do need an axe though, just to be sure.

No, you need to nuke the house from orbit if you want to be sure.

johnny6 · 11 Sep 2017 at 13:47

Occasionally the Wife when she falls out of bed in the middle of the night........... Oh how we laugh..... I say we, I laugh whilst she tells me to do one.

Feef · 11 Sep 2017 at 14:17

A can of Raid, because I'm far more likely to get bothered by a cockroach than any sort of intruder. Guess it could also work for that though.

Dis86 · 11 Sep 2017 at 16:28

Narj said:
Making her sleep on the floor is a bit harsh.

nickx91 · 11 Sep 2017 at 17:10

I don't have any as well

McBain · 11 Sep 2017 at 19:59

Yeah, the book 'IT', if I hit someone over the head with that it'd kill them no doubt about it.

Hiijinx · 11 Sep 2017 at 20:19

A stack of these should be more than enough to scare 'em off

Whitewater · 11 Sep 2017 at 20:22

This months issue of Mensa magazine, a lamp and a phone. My wife's between me and the door, so unless someone comes through the window I'll be fine

I'd like to take up archery or Iaido, neither of which is intended as home defence...

Yaayuh! · 11 Sep 2017 at 20:23

Homemade cricket bat and a big maglite.

atpbx · 11 Sep 2017 at 20:25

No, I don't live in a 1980s Sylvester Stallone film.

Malevolence · 11 Sep 2017 at 20:25

Arsonist · 11 Sep 2017 at 20:46

I have a loaded air pistol in a locked case in my bedside unit. The key is very nearby but hidden. It certainly wouldn't kill, but a few shots to the head will certainly blind and maime someone whereupon they'd no longer be a threat.

sniperone · 11 Sep 2017 at 21:06

Have a authentic Japanese katana hanging above my bed if that counts

Mr Badger · 11 Sep 2017 at 21:14

Arsonist said:
I have a loaded air pistol in a locked case in my bedside unit. The key is very nearby but hidden. It certainly wouldn't kill, but a few shots to the head will certainly blind and maime someone whereupon they'd no longer be a threat.

But would that someone be you or the burglar?

Raymond Lin · 11 Sep 2017 at 21:22

sniperone said:
Have a authentic Japanese katana hanging above my bed if that counts

How? Exporting real Japanese Katana is illegal? (I'd love one! but they cost thousands)

Cromulent · 12 Sep 2017 at 05:51

Just put framed pictures of dead people all around your house. I bet that anyone trying to break in will leave pretty quickly. Even better if you get some of those digital photo frames that show a slideshow.

sniperone · 12 Sep 2017 at 09:56

Raymond Lin said:
How? Exporting real Japanese Katana is illegal? (I'd love one! but they cost thousands)

I have had it over 20 years i got it in a london auction . I think its illegal to sell or import them but not own but dont quote me on that

MBennett · 12 Sep 2017 at 10:30

I have an olight striker which I would use to temporarily blind the intruder and then I would imbed the sharp end in his temple.

I also have an Arizona Bushman saguaro survival knife by the bed which I could use if the threat was really bad, but in real likelihood probably not as the court would probably take a dim view and I could get jail time.