Kids thing is a deal breaker. No point continuing on that point alone.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
I'm confused (and I'm half asleep) but I thought part of the issue was that she didn't want children in the future and you did? you mention post natal depression which would imply she has already had a child so a bit late for her to decide if she wants them or not. (or am I thinking of someone else?)
I think he's saying if she agrees to children (to please him), there is an increased risk due to her own current issues possibly being compounded with post-natal depression.
Ah yeah that makes sense
I was pretty much asleep when I read it last night !
Associate
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The reasonable person would say that. However it's sensible to report any incident like this so it's logged. It's not unheard of (or rare unfortunately) for somebody who is being ignored to call the police with a fabricated complaint.
You are correct - She did state from the start of the relationship she did not want kids, ever. I told her I did.
A year or so later apparently she spoke to family and said she was gutted because she thought I wanted kids but not with her and that she did want them.
I guess she may have changed her mind to either please me or her family. By post natal depression I meant I could see her getting it if she did have a child with me that she actually was only having for my sake / her family
Soldato
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well how's it going gentlemen, more a bit of a vent rather than asking for advice.
Been with a girl from back home since the end of October. When we're together we get on really well, generally when apart we get on well (ie when I'm down South) She's hot AF, the sex is great, she gets on with the family, i get on with hers, but, i haven't fallen for her nor do i feel anything like I'm about to
I'm 26, she's 19 which may be something to do with it. It also doesn't help that I don't see her much because I work down south. Last time i saw her was 13th Feb, next time i see her is 14th March. I had a few weeks off over christmas though when we saw each other a lot. At times I just feel like I'm going to get old alone and do trips (to the Nurburgring) alone
Been seeing 3 girls since one a few years ago, since that girl I haven't fallen for anyone else, though the previous two I ended it for this reason after about 2 months, rather than now 4.
Been with a girl from back home since the end of October. When we're together we get on really well, generally when apart we get on well (ie when I'm down South) She's hot AF, the sex is great, she gets on with the family, i get on with hers, but, i haven't fallen for her nor do i feel anything like I'm about to
I'm 26, she's 19 which may be something to do with it. It also doesn't help that I don't see her much because I work down south. Last time i saw her was 13th Feb, next time i see her is 14th March. I had a few weeks off over christmas though when we saw each other a lot. At times I just feel like I'm going to get old alone and do trips (to the Nurburgring) alone Been seeing 3 girls since one a few years ago, since that girl I haven't fallen for anyone else, though the previous two I ended it for this reason after about 2 months, rather than now 4.
Associate
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Ouch. Married and still with husband? Or separated?
And you've only just found out about child?! Yowsers
Yep married and still live together but dont even talk and don't share a bed and are only together for the kid.
And you believe her?
Associate
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Was there a reason she thought she couldn't be honest about that from the start? A friend of mine is married but they have agreed to seperate and live seperate lives etc, he's started dating but always tells his dates the "home" situation..
I've been seeing a lady for about 3 months, booked our first weekend away together recently, stayed over at hers Friday night and all was really good making plans for that weekend away, or so I thought.. then today just a simple whatsapp message "sorry, I've met someone at work , all the best for the future" Don't understand women.. why not just tell me when I saw her Friday..
I've been seeing a lady for about 3 months, booked our first weekend away together recently, stayed over at hers Friday night and all was really good making plans for that weekend away, or so I thought.. then today just a simple whatsapp message "sorry, I've met someone at work , all the best for the future" Don't understand women.. why not just tell me when I saw her Friday..
Associate
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People are cowards and/or don't find it easy hurting folk. It's much easier to do remotely. Probably
Caporegime
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Do a barrel roll and GTFO of that mess.
So she says, and that's suspect because if she's hidden this for several months after becoming your "girlfriend" what else is she hiding? People being economical with the truth on something major like that is because they know what a large red flag it will put up, so what else is she keeping from you?
Let's face it, you're the side chick.
From an outside perspective, that doesn’t sound true; otherwise she would’ve said so from the start?
How did you find out if you don’t mind me asking?
For me, this situation would be the end of the relationship.
Unless they are separated then just get out of there. She has hooked you in hoping to get you invested in her before telling you. She's lied to you, lying to her husband and risking her child's future. Even if she leaves him for you then what's to stop her doing the same to you in a few years. She can't be trusted.
She told me. Basically she had told plenty of other people about me including her mum and sister and they pressured her to tell me the truth.
Her mum is also pressuring her to get a divorce because they can't live like this but she's afraid to mess with the kids family life etc
So you're going to be in a relationship with her, and she goes home to her house with her husband, and keeps you from her kids so that the kids don't get their family life changed? How's that going to work for you? Are you going to be okay with that, because it seems that her mum and sister isn't?
nope I'm not ok with that. I said there is no way of us moving forward until she sorts everything out on her side. The kid doesn't bother me tbh, it's the rest of it that's an issue.