The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Tried Happn, Hinge and Bumble. I'm getting a load of matches on Bubmle and lots of messages coming in. Hinge is okay, but not many users local to me and Happn seems dead so I've deleted that.
 
relationships do my head in, still feel like being pulled through the hedge backward with my current situation..

One thing thats beginning bothering me is no matter what is done or said, I don't seem to be able to become angry (i might be angry in my head for 5 - 10 mins) or feel like giving up on her even though I know no one in their right mind would put up with it.
whats wrong with me?? maybe im just too laid back?
 
So my wife told me this morning she doesn't love me anymore and wants to leave. Been married for 7 years and been together for 15. Before today I would have said our relationship was as good as a relationship could be. We never argue and have always been close.

This has hit me hard and I don't really know what to do. Fortunately no kids but the thought of having to sort everything out on top of not being with her is making me extremely stressed and anxious.
 
Sorry to hear that buddy. I can only repeat what has no doubt been mentioned plenty of times in this thread already. Chin up, it gets easier over time.
 
You need to be able to continue with your life. No matter how bad you may feel, force yourself to get out, do hobbies, see people, and continue onwards and think positively.
 
Tombles said:
So my wife told me this morning she doesn't love me anymore and wants to leave. Been married for 7 years and been together for 15. Before today I would have said our relationship was as good as a relationship could be. We never argue and have always been close.

This has hit me hard and I don't really know what to do. Fortunately no kids but the thought of having to sort everything out on top of not being with her is making me extremely stressed and anxious.
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First, sorry to hear that buddy.

Secondly, you need to talk with her. From that comment above in bold, perhaps you have never expressed true annoyance at each and therefore perhaps the matter is black and white. I think it should be a swirling mush of lighter and darker greys. I mean, how can you ever rectify and evolve as a couple if you never explain the whole spectrum of your feelings to each other?

Perhaps it is over, but I would try and talk with her first. You know, get it all out on the table, no stones unturned.
 
Thanks for all the comments guys, they've been helpful.

Stayed overnight at my parents and talked it through with them. They spoke to my wife as they went to the house to pick some stuff up for me. She's asked for a couple days to gather all her thoughts and will then talk it through.

Struggling with sleep and eating right now but hopefully today will be better.
 
Tombles said:
Thanks for all the comments guys, they've been helpful.

Stayed overnight at my parents and talked it through with them. They spoke to my wife as they went to the house to pick some stuff up for me. She's asked for a couple days to gather all her thoughts and will then talk it through.

Struggling with sleep and eating right now but hopefully today will be better.
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Must be awkward dealing with your parents after saying that. Did you leave or did she ask?

Does sound like nothing bad has happened and hopefully you can respark your marriage - either that or she has found somebody else. You should not just give up though after she has said those words. A marriage can have ups and downs but it is probably about highlighting those downs before they become permanent. Seems like a breakdown in communication, long time coming with blinkers on or someone is cheating whenever it goes wrong and the other person believes they were perfect.
 
Tombles said:
Thanks for all the comments guys, they've been helpful.

Stayed overnight at my parents and talked it through with them. They spoke to my wife as they went to the house to pick some stuff up for me. She's asked for a couple days to gather all her thoughts and will then talk it through.

Struggling with sleep and eating right now but hopefully today will be better.
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Those aren't abnormal things It will just take time. You'll ask yourself 'why' and 'if only I had..'. But that time will pass.
All I can suggest is take some time don't blame yourself, and try and look forward

The first months will be hard of you still love her, try and get some structure in your life. Hobbies, sports, gym. These will not just give you something to focus on but you get those good endorphins etc

In time join some social clubs and meet new people You might want to do that now or when you're ready.

Things will get better. Everyone will tell you, you might not believe it, but you will

Good luck buddy.
 
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