It can be difficult, I'm gonna get on more apps so that I can line up a few dates for a week, 5 would be ideal... you never know, it can be different results... sometimes I go months without any and then other times I can end up with 5 dates for the week bearing in mind that many don't go beyond the first date so its all a bit hit and miss until I eventually get success. Its just one of those things I got to keep trying. The problem I had on this round was only 2, first one I wasn't keen on but the second I really liked but I got friend zoned so the only game plan for being friend zoned is multiple dates.
Remember you are looking for romance and so are they. You've made your intentions clear and if you don't make these moves, you are putting yourself in the friend zone.![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Thanks for taking the time to write all of that, it was an interesting read. I already do some of that. I've been on dates before in the past where we have literally just hit it off right away on the first date and end up in about 2 year relationship afterwards while others can end up being casual. I'm ready to settle down with somebody now so I'm hoping I can meet somebody decent. I actually went back on the dating site yesterday but no joy yet it normally takes a while before I can get more lined up.So you're planning to simply carry on doing what you're doing and expect it to somehow work out.
This won't work. Like I said earlier you need a plan and stick to it. Here is what I developed when I was single, with good success.
You are getting dates, so you have probably created a good profile.
Do a few message exchanges to introduce yourself, find out a little about her (emphasis on just a little), set up a date and leave it. On the day text them to let them know you are excited about meeting them and confirm the time, and no more messaging. You're looking for romance, not a pen pal.
Date 1: Midweek date after work or at lunchtime, just meeting for a drink, not a meal. Not on weekend. If you're attracted you'll know straight away, and so will they. Keep date to about an hour max, even if you both hit it off together. Make your excuses and end the meeting. Part with a kiss if you're feeling confident it or a peck on the cheek if you're nervous. Remember it's a date. If she pushes you away at least you know where you stand and you've both made your intentions clear. No friend zone for you lol!
Don't commit to meeting again at this point and no messages. Give it at least 24 hours and, if you enjoyed the date and want to see them again, message them saying so. It's important to tell them that you like them and want to see them again. Don't ask them, tell them. If they like you, they will tell you.
Date 2: Arrange a weekend date. You know you can devote more time because you know you like each other. A meal, movie, or bowling etc. If you don't want to do what she suggests, tell them and suggest something else. If they are busy on the weekend, tell them you're happy to meet up on another weekend and leave it at that.
If they like you, they'll make time for you and will want to arrange something.
Again, don't be a pen pal. If they like you they will wait for your message.
When you meet for the second date, greet them with a kiss. Be the gentleman but don't fawn over them. Have a good time, maybe tell them a bit more about yourself but don't have any in depth emotional conversations. Don't talk about previous relationships and if they start doing this, stop them. You're there to have a good time and to do this you need to keep it light and have fun. Keep date 2 to about 2-3 hours, end the date, but this time you should be parting with a proper lingering kiss. Oooh!
Date 3: Ok, things are getting serious. Set up a weekend date but offer to cook for them or get a takeaway at your home, or at theirs. Whichever way you arrange it, if she is coming to yours be clear that you will make sure she gets home safely later that evening. If she is hosting you at her place, assure her that you will be gone by a certain time, 11pm or whatever because you have an important thing to do the following morning, whatever that is. Eat your food, have a great evening with lots of kissing and physical time together but don't have sex and get her home (or leave hers) as you said you would. If she asks you to stay over, tell her maybe next time you meet..
If you get this far you are set. You've both made the effort to spend quality time together, but still have exciting times ahead. You've still got lots to learn about each other, but you know enough to warrant investing more time together. You're not a pushover. She needs to get your agreement on things, but you're reliable and she can trust you.
Date 4: Need I say more?
Yep she said we were friends she said it on the second meet up. The reason why I didn't say it before was because I was under the illusion that the meet ups were in fact dates and because I wanted it to be something it wasn't I was giving myself false hope that it was more, she did give me friends zone hints before then but it wasn't enough for clarity so I was never sure but I had an idea that it might be just friends but I wanted to be confident about the meet ups convincing myself that things were moving forward... so after the second meet up I did still feel confident but then she made it clear later on that she didn't want anything more then just friends, she said she saw me as a sibling and all that while texting later on that evening, so that confirmed it for me and then I started thinking about the possibilities of her wanting intimacy with me at some other stage if I continued with it and then I started getting second thought and I then thoughts more about what would be best and that was when I decided just to end it.
It's normally to do with many factors... like not being her type, not having the right look such as build, frame size height, the right hair. They are normally the main things which boils down to attraction. I know there are other things like charisma, character etc etc. I don't mean to tare all women with the same brush with what I'm going to say here because I know there are women who are different otherwise I would have given up on it. I'm just an average guy. I'm not in the 10 ten and I'm not ugly either I'm sort off in the middle and from my observations I have noticed the type that women go for and they are usually men with a certain frame size mainly. I'm tall around 6 foot so that gets me through the door at least but I don't have the frame size that goes with it and I have a bit of belly fat which isn't really relevant. I'm not fat tho I'm average build. I feel I don't have the charisma they are looking for either although I try my best but I be me rather than trying to force myself to be somebody who I am not but I can be funny at times and I have made woman laugh which in my view is a plus but it doesn't really change anything. I make sure I'm well dressed I don't over do it tho, and I make sure I'm clean and smell nice so I think I have a lot covered but there isn't a lot you can do about genetics unfortunately and I go on these dates because I know not all woman are the same and will be for generic looks. I don't go for super models I go for pretty average women chubby or slim I don't really care as long as they are attractive and I know that I have a chance with them. I think I get friend zoned because I'm just not quite enough for them and they are looking for better options. Its also quite common for a lot of guys to get friend zoned.
.I did all that before and it changed nothing. I get plenty of exercise and I also do weights but I'm not muscular. I'm always confident on dates I am always in a positive mindset on dates. You do have a point there about ugly guys with nice looking women, I have seen them about and to be honest it does make me rethink about stuff.
Don't forget, this is how you're perceived by others. You can't really tell how they perceive you. You might feel you're being confident, but they might perceive something different. Just something to consider. We're telling you we're getting strong negative vibes. Maybe your dates are feeling it too. Just something to think about.
