** ALLOY ALLOY! WHATS GOING ON HERE THEN?! COMPETITION **
- Thread starter NikTheSHNIK
- Start date
Soldato
What did the fish say when he bumped into a wall?
Dam
Dam
Associate
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eyed-deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no-eyed-deer.
No-eyed-deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no-eyed-deer.
Soldato
Associate
- Joined
- 5 Apr 2004
- Posts
- 1,197
What is the Karate experts favorite beverage?
Kara-tea.
Kara-tea.
Soldato
How many software programmers does it take to change a broken lightbulb?
None
Its a hardware problem.
None
Its a hardware problem.
Associate
Why can't cats work on the computer?
They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Last edited:
Associate
- Joined
- 12 May 2013
- Posts
- 13
How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?
When its past your eyes!
When its past your eyes!
Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture on a cold winter.
A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut
across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and
wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the
other side. "Look at that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy is
trying to pull the wool over our ice."
A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut
across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and
wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the
other side. "Look at that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy is
trying to pull the wool over our ice."
Associate
Whats brown and sticky..?
A stick
I'm in, good luck all.
A store where a woman may go to choose a husband has opened in Auckland.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
“You may visit this store only once! There are six floors, and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.”
So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 -- These Men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 --These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That's nice,” she thinks. “But I want more.”
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 -- These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are Extremely Good Looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 -- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
A store where a woman may go to choose a husband has opened in Auckland.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
“You may visit this store only once! There are six floors, and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.”
So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 -- These Men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 --These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That's nice,” she thinks. “But I want more.”
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 -- These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are Extremely Good Looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 -- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Soldato
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.