** ALLOY ALLOY! WHATS GOING ON HERE THEN?! COMPETITION **

What jumps out of the desert screaming ****, arse, ********, *****?

Crude oil.

Or:

Guy visiting Ireland, stuck out in the countryside as the suns going down and a little lost.
Looking around he sees some lights on top of a hill so he starting heading towards them.

Going up the hill there's this beautiful white picket fence all the way up the side of the road.
So he gets to the top and find the lights are from a pub, he heads inside.

Inside, the place is deserted, just the barman looking at him from behind the bar.
He wanders up and orders a pint.

The barman, while pulling his pint asks him (in your best Irish accent): "So, did you see the fence on the way up there?"
The chap nods..
"Aye" says the barman "took me about 2 weeks to build that fence and about another 5 ****ing days to paint it. Proper labour of love that was...
But do they call me Jones the fence painter? Noooo" and hands him the freshly pulled pint.

The chaps looking around still at the deserted bar, barman asks him "So, d'ya like the place? It's solid mahogany top on this ****ing bar and I helped the guy from the brewery put the pumps in myself..." He says, knocking on the bar with his knuckles.
But do they call me Jones the bar builder? Noooo".

So the chaps supping his pint, the barman asks "So, hows the pint? Is the head alright on it?" the chap answers that it's a lovely pint. Barman says "aye, you'll not find a finer ****ing pint o' Guinness outside o' Dublin, but do they call me Jones the pint puller? Noooo..."

"But you **** just ONE goat...."

I've made it my own over the years but started (and well told) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A85ipUgy5B4
 
Last edited:
As much as we all know security is a massive issue and not to be taken lightly,

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1forrest1.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom