** ALLOY ALLOY! WHATS GOING ON HERE THEN?! COMPETITION **

[GamingSlug]

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

The man replies "Boobs!"

 

[Metalface Mark]

Sitting waiting for the results like...

 

[GiraffePencils]

I had stayed up all night, wondering where the sun had gone;

Then it Dawned on me

 

[richb83]

What do you call a man in a paper suit....

Spoiler

Russell

 

[Voicon]

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other.

ilene

 

[Cleisthenes]

Where do bees go to the loo?

The BP station.






*grabs coat and leaves*

 

[diverse180]

How did Han Solo get up the wall...

Spoiler

Snowspeeder

 

[koooowweeee]

what do you call a Irish spider? paddy long legs!

 

[Svack]

A programmer is going to the supermarket and his wife tells him, "Buy a pint of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen."
So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house.
Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 13 pints of milk?"
The programmer says, "There were eggs!"

 

[dcsarge]

A pair of jump leads walk into a bar, the barman says "I will serve you but don't start anything".

Good luck all but mostly me .

 

[Kill_Phil]

 

[Munchkin-Sib]

Why can't you hear a Pteradon go to the toilet?

Spoiler

Because it P is silent!!

 

[marc69]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler

None. It's a hardware problem

 

[stefk005]

What do you call a Spaniard who's just come out of hospital?

Manuel

 

[danewesley]

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

Spoiler

A receding hare-line!

 

[Jason1973]

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

Good luck all

 

[Kralz]

Instead of telling a joke ill tell a story..

so last saturday gave my old mate a call about going out on lash, so of course we meet up in town.
So there we were 2 lads hitting town, so we walked into this bar ...........

******* hell it hurt!!

*boom boom*

 

[Josh]

Brexit Jokes:

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar...The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave.

Why does Britain like tea so much? Because tea leaves.

 

[Footyslayer]

Count me in for this comp

 

[Artery]

I don't have a joke.