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I didn't know esigs cost £100 a month.
Am I being unreasonable?
- Thread starter Kalexuz
- Start date
Quick tip, if you find yourself starting a thread on an internet board to get support against your wife, and mother of your child, then it's a pretty good guess you're being unreasonable.
She's your daughter; it's not a "sacrifice".
She's your daughter; it's not a "sacrifice".
This is about the only sensible thing I can see without guidance. We're not living in our forever home, but it's nice and does us and our daughter, is reasonable size but doesn't have the features the family needs or daughter would benefit from long term. However, it is in the catchment area for the best school in this part of Warrington so we're between a rock and a hard place. More suitable houses in this area we like are about £75-100k more.
I know, it's only since assessing my finances have I realised how much I'm spending on it.
I've started the thread because it's impartial. I can't ask my friends, they all know my wife and they'd allow emotion in. Asking on the internet is easier, but believe me I'm not ignoring what is being said.
As for the sacrifice thing...I can see what that looks like in retrospect, apologies. It's called a "salary sacrifice" scheme which is why I worded it like that. I didn't mean it literally against my daughter or that her financial needs are a sacrifice to me.
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I would assume this is just a terminology thing relating to money coming from gross rather than net salary... As opposed to the OP's sentiment regaring the money.
Tbh after you start a family and arent on big money you do have to put them first.
I love my car too, but I don't have kids. I understand how of you don't have anything else you want this.
I grew up with cars.
But does it have to be a brand new BMW? (I don't think they're that good anyway lol)
Can't you get something used for half the price?
It is troubling you put your wife's course in the same bucket as a car.
I assume she is doing the course to earn more? That's investment not luxury
I love my car too, but I don't have kids. I understand how of you don't have anything else you want this.
I grew up with cars.
But does it have to be a brand new BMW? (I don't think they're that good anyway lol)
Can't you get something used for half the price?
It is troubling you put your wife's course in the same bucket as a car.
I assume she is doing the course to earn more? That's investment not luxury
Your wife's education has a chance (small according to you but a chance nonetheless) to get her a higher wage in the long term, which will benefit your family. Your toy will never benefit your family, you'll play with it, get bored with it and move on to the next one. There's nothing wrong with that in most circumstances but when it affects your family's finances, it is wrong.
If I were you I would put that monthly £330 in a savings account for rainy days or for your daughter's education. And if you badly want that BMW, you should work harder, increase your monthly wage and then take the idea to your wife again.
As a general rule, always put your family first, they will be around for much longer than a toy. And if one day they are not around, it will hurt much more than not having a certain item.
I'm tired of non working wives dictating to their husbands what money is spent on. But having said that, you're on an average wage and when you get married and have children you're making a commitment to put certain things first. So it's not unreasonable to want to spend money on your hobby if you can afford it. But a 20k car is too much. Find something older, classic, which won't depreciate much, for half that price.
That 20k car is a lot of money down the drain.
That 20k car is a lot of money down the drain.
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![[TW]Fox](/data/man-of-honor/2009.png){kind=avatar}
If his budget is £20k and he wants an M135i it's going to be used circa 3-4 years old.
It's worth considering that it's not as if he's getting rid of £20k in order to have it - it sounds like he's going to borrow the money and the car will have a retained value once he finishes with it. So, in reality, the cost is the depreciation over the time he has it, any extra running costs, and the interest on his funding source.
This will not add up to £20k. Or at least you'd hope it wouldn't!
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My wife thinks the car means more than her and our daughter which is just untrue; I just like cars and getting one faster than my FN2 that isn't a relic just so happen to be expensive to buy or expensive to maintain (Evo's etc).
It doesn't have to be a BMW, it's just what I've narrowed it down to and set my sights on. Never experienced the kind of power the 135i/140i's are and rear wheel drive, that's what I am focused on. I know it makes no sense to get a new car, especially ones as quick to depreciate as a BMW but this is in part the issue; I just want it irrespective of financial sense.
This thread has helped me think twice though, even if it's wrong that I needed to hear it from people I don't know above and beyond my own wife.
It was cheaper to smoke rubberduckE-liquid alone is costing me £25 every 8-9 days for 60ml.
Start mixing your own. I spend 60 quid every 6 months or so and that makes a litre of liquid. If vaping is costing you £100 a month you're doing it wrong. Go visit the vapers lounge thread for more advice on reducing that cost.
Back on topic, yeah man incurring large debt for a more fun car (you could get a much cheaper 5 door) is bad for your family's future. Why not save the difference for paying off your mortgage faster or for your daughter's education? Not as important as having a fun car?
Swap your FN2 for a FK2 and you're sorted and you might even get some cash in your back pocket on the swap.
The whole "but I WANT IT!" argument is selfish, and while I get that it is hard working your balls off and raising a kid etc, that doesn't mean you can take big risks with your family's wellbeing because you want a reward for that.
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It was cheaper to smoke rubberduck
start making your own e liquid its easy theres tutorials all over the place- pg is cheap nicotine is cheap vg and concentrates cost next to nothing your mad to be paying 25 pound for 30 mill. Prioritise your wife and child over the car and move on with your life. Check out flavour boss website where all the hard work is done for you, get a litre of quality cloned juice for about £35!
I agree with everyone's views. You are a young guy with a family and debts.
Quite the e-sig and save £100 a month for a start.
What about:
Council tax
Water rates
Gas
Elec
Car Maintenance
Car insurance
House insurances
House maintenance
Childs clothes
Etc Etc
Quite the e-sig and save £100 a month for a start.
What about:
Council tax
Water rates
Gas
Elec
Car Maintenance
Car insurance
House insurances
House maintenance
Childs clothes
Etc Etc
20k on a car, wow. You're married, if one of you doesn't agree on such a big purchase, don't get it, simple as that. That goes for anything, not only a car.
About the car, FN2-R is near the top of my 'want, can't have' list, together with RX7 spiritR and a GT-R R35. I'd love to have any one of them, but me buying them (especially on a loan) would make me unreasonable as I have a partner of 6 years and we're thinking about kids. Family car > sports car.
My suggestion: finish off the loan, put that £330pm on it, you'll be done in 1 year, then either sell it and buy some estate car (like Avensis or smth) or keep driving your FN2-R while saving those £330pm for a rainy day. Much better alternative than you guys breaking up your family for a new car.
About the car, FN2-R is near the top of my 'want, can't have' list, together with RX7 spiritR and a GT-R R35. I'd love to have any one of them, but me buying them (especially on a loan) would make me unreasonable as I have a partner of 6 years and we're thinking about kids. Family car > sports car.
My suggestion: finish off the loan, put that £330pm on it, you'll be done in 1 year, then either sell it and buy some estate car (like Avensis or smth) or keep driving your FN2-R while saving those £330pm for a rainy day. Much better alternative than you guys breaking up your family for a new car.
