Amazon Prime sucks massive donkey balls

[Diddums]

Getting fed up with Prime. They used to be awesome, same day delivery on many products and guaranteed next day for 99% of their stock. My Astro A50s died so I want to order new ones. £250 on Amazon which is the going rate, great thinks I, I'll order it on Prime Now and have it in a couple of hours. Price? £350. £100 more for same day delivery. Fair enough, I can use an alternative for the night and get them delivered tomorrow. Can I? No. Wednesday soonest. It's not like I live in the sticks either.

Prime cancelled. Not worth paying extra for delivery which can be had free elsewhere.


/Rant

 

[Diddums]

They're normally next day for most things I order, can't complain for the price i'm paying.

I've been singing their praises for ages but this is becoming too much of a common occurrence lately

 

[Diddums]

I can see Astro A50's for next day delivery on prime. Wed for a different colour.
Andi.

You sure?




You're not that far, wonder why


Doesn't matter, I'm using my Bose headset in the meantime.

 

[Diddums]

So what’s the alternative? How much would you have paid and how soon could you have got them elsewhere?

Haven't really looked tbh. I just had a whinge at them on chat and they've given me £7 in credit to use so that's something I guess. These Bose don't sound anything near my Astros for gaming

 

[Diddums]

A quick look here it says that it's due to long transport distances which means it's probably sitting in a warehouse in the EU mainland. Just unlucky tbh!

Yeah that's what their chat said. Just poor luck sadly, but the £7 credit has taken some of my salt away.

 

[Diddums]

Oh no, the horror!

You weren't there man. YOU WEREN'T THERE!

 

[Diddums]

you dont really need it next day anyway tbh. you can wait a few days.

Thank god you cleared that up for me, what would I do without you.

 

[Diddums]

spend money on prime which doesnt get you anything any faster? my advice is only 1/2 price of amazon prime as well. how would you like to pay?

In kind. Do you swallow?


(ja, that time of the night )

 

[Diddums]

Where do the credits go, never managed to track them down and I guess they just expire unused

You can't see them, they automatically apply themselves at the checkout. Of course most of them go to "pantry" or "ebooks" or whatever guff you're unlikely to use. It's almost as if Amazon try to hide them but enjoy the glory anyway.

 

[Diddums]

Amazon you drunk



OcUK is obviously missing a trick here not selling plus size women's bikini bottoms.

Are you a plus sized woman?

 

[Diddums]

Because Amazon Prime sucks massive donkey balls.

(different distro centers I would guess).

 

[Diddums]

Just to pop in here on the side of Amazon. I bought a second hand Kindle about 6 months ago and gave it to my daughter. She'd managed to break her previous one (half the screen was just random pixels and resets didn't do a thing). Anyway, yesterday she presents me with the 'new' Kindle and exactly the same thing has happened. As always, when asked what happened I got told "Nothing. It just happened", whilst looking incredibly guilty.

Anyway, I contacted Amazon to see whether I could get a repair. To be absolute amazement, they sent me a replacement (arrived this morning and it's a Paperwhite so an upgrade) and they just want the old one back. No charge, free delivery and return post. Staggering.

However, if she breaks this one, I'll string her up.

No you won't you massive poof, she'll put on the puppy eyes, "daddy look what I did by mistake I'm so sorry" and your heart will melt and you'll buy her a new one.

And a bag of sweets for making her feel like she couldn't come to you.

(or if you're a rad dad it'll be one of those Barbie Jeep things, and when she outgrows it you can take it to Texas:

)

 

[Diddums]

Amazon has fallen off their throne for me. Their delicious heroes* used to be on point, always on time and their requirements were much lower. Now Prime is too slow and too unreliable on far too many products. Now their prices seem to have gone up too, I find myself shopping elsewhere a lot.


*deliveries, but my phone corrected it and I didn’t want to hurt it’s feelings.

 

[Diddums]

no surprise, just tried to cancel to see if I get an auto retention offer, there was one but not really an offer, just switch to £79 annual.

Will send support a message, if they refuse £59 deal will cancel.

There are loopholes to get an NUC card on the sly. The card itself will still cost you, but you can sign up to courses that cost £lol to qualify. If you can warrant the card (ie eating out on Mon-Thurs nights) then you can also bag Prime for student rates (£59PA? something like that).

https://becleverwithyourcash.com/ca...-discount-card-even-when-youre-not-a-student/

 

[Diddums]

Anyone know where Amazon stand on sellers rewarding customers for positive reviews?

I bought some screen protectors for my phone. A different brand from last time, as these ones had rave reviews. Turns out, they're not as good. So why the rave reviews? There's a card in the box offering a free QI charger. Turns out, leaving a positive review on Amazon is a condition of receiving the charger...

Report them. It's a known problem and one that they're trying to stamp out. Amazon reviews are beyond salvation imo. Even products with 1star reviews could be great products but the competition writes fake reviews to kill them off. China is the biggest culprit.

 

[Diddums]

Ordered something from these clowns, had it down to be delivered at work, didn't arrive. Email "handed to receptionist".

No, it wasn't. Loads of packages were (400 people in the office), but mine wasn't.

Customer service in Friday: "need three days for investigation pls".

Fine. This takes the date to past christmas, and I need it for Christmas, so I buy a replacement elsewhere.

Email from them this morning, rather vague and borderline accusatory, so hop on chat again, first representative "ye soz lol it was accidentally marked as delivered, new one will be arriving tomoz"

No, I've already replaced it because you told me you needed three days to get your act together, and I have no use for this item, so I want a refund.

"Hold on, new operator coming"

"Hi, new operator here, pls sign affidavit, scan and return it"

What the actual **** amazon?

Suffice to say this will rather likely be the nail in the coffin for them, enough is enough. I've been buying from them for over 10 years, loads of little niggles and irritations but nothing that couldn't be overlooked but this is just ridiculous.

 

[Diddums]

Sounds like someone left their Christmas shopping a little late

Mistakes do happen, it's just unlucky that it happened to you when you were relying on the swift delivery.

Yeah it's not ideal, but I've found a workaround fairly easily. It's just the inconvenience of it all tbh. And the fact they're treating me as a crim when the onus is on them is rubbing me the wrong way.

 

[Diddums]

Before I post this, a few answers to the inevitable questions: Yes, I have checked the post room properly, no, we've never had anything go missing in our post room, no, our receptionists wouldn't have nicked it, we get about 50-100 amazon deliveries a day at this time of year, I've had loads of stuff delivered here with no problems.

On to their reply:

Hello David,

We’re sorry to hear that you haven’t received your item for order #206-4199599-7501149.

We have fully investigated this matter, including with the delivery carrier who delivered the package. Based on the outcome of our investigations, we believe the package was delivered to the correct address. In particular we have considered information from our records, as follows which indicate the item as delivered:

- the timed geocode stamp of the delivery location;
- information collected at the point of delivery; and
- the package weight and reported condition upon delivery.

Accordingly, based on our investigations, we won’t be able to provide a replacement or refund for this order at this time.

If you think that someone has intercepted your item without your permission, this is a crime, and you may wish to contact your local police authorities to pursue this matter further. To assist, we recommend that you provide a copy of this email to the police to help explain what has happened. We will happily cooperate with the police as part of any investigation.

If the issue isn't resolved after contacting local police, please contact us again and include a copy of the police report, crime reference number and details of the station where the incident was reported. Please note: to assist in obtaining a police report, we recommend that you provide a copy of this email to the police to help explain what has happened. We will then validate the report with the local police force in question; for that reason, we are unable to accept reports filed On Line, by Telephone or with Action Fraud, as this is a reporting centre, rather than a local police force.

Please forward a PDF, JPG or PNG copy of the police report to the following address: [email protected]. Please be sure to include key information including:

- Name/Rank of the officer
- Name of police station
- Phone Number of police station
- Crime Reference Number

As the outcome of our detailed investigation suggests that the item was delivered, unfortunately without any such police report reporting the crime of theft or interception of the item, we are unable to take further action.

Thank you for your understanding.

We'd appreciate your feedback. Please use the buttons below to vote about your experience today.

So I've bought an item, it wasn't delivered. I then bought another one at a competitor because Amazon said they would need three business days to investigate. The next business day I get a vague email from them so get in touch on their chat. "Can have it delivered tomoz".

No, I don't want it tomorrow, I've already replaced it because you said I wouldn't have it before Christmas and it's a Christmas gift. Chat to someone else. Make me sign an affidavit. Signed and returned affidavit, and this is their response.

"Lol go **** yourself, merry christmas".

Guess I have to waste more time on these idiots, but they're going to refund me one way or another.

 

[Diddums]

Quick update, I emailed their UK CEO yesterday and got a reply this afternoon, literally as I was sitting in Brixton police station waiting to file a report.

Dear Mr Diddums,

My name is John and I am contacting you on behalf of Doug Gurr, our Amazon UK Managing Director.

I am so sorry to hear you did not receive Samsung Solid State Drive.

I can appreciate that this is a busy time of year so to expedite matters I've now requested a refund of £124.98. When the refund is completed in our system, we'll send you an e-mail letting you know the date, amount and payment details. You can see information about completed refunds in ‘Your Account’ once you've received a confirmation e-mail from us.

Wishing you a lovely week ahead and I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Winner winner chicken dinner. Cost me £4 in parking costs but it's a lot cheaper than £125 and wasting half of Christmas Eve waiting to be seen.

 

[Diddums]

Oh dear didn't realise Diddums was perma banned. Anyone know what he done to get such a punishment?

Oh yeah, it's normally a spack out but I can't see anything.
He was one of the good guys also.

Ive spoke to him through email. Sent him a message to come on the IRC chat room but he never come on.

It was because some people didn’t like the truth told to them and he would spaz out at people lol

Alright, calm down, I'm here! The trick to getting out of imprisonment is to just sing Barbie Girl repeatedly until they give in and let you out. I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLDDDDDD, NOTHING PLASTIC, IT'S FANTASTIC, YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR, AND TOUCH ME ANYWHERE, IMAGINATION LIFE IS YOUR CREATION! C'MON BARBIE LET'S GO PARTY! OOH OOOH AAH YEAH! etc.





No jokes, I know the lyrics off by heart. True story. 1v1 me bro.