An old friend asking to borrow money

Craterloads said:
So I got a message from someone I was friends with years ago. In my teens to early 20s but I’ve only probably seen them once in the last 8 years or so
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if you borrow this person the money you likely won't see them again.



If you must reply explain you're not getting it easy neither and maybe link some food banks etc in the message.
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You can't just visit one you have to be referred, if he goes his GP surgery and asks to see a social prescriber then they can do that and maybe other things depending on what the person needs
 
Meh if you can spare it and it’s not significant to you I’d just do it. If it never gets paid back then you’ve learned what type of person they are it’s not a big issue. If it’s paid back then no worries. I’ve done this for a few friends and the ones that have paid me back I know to trust to an extent, if they don’t then it’s a lesson learnt about them. Again, that only applies if you won’t miss it. Be wary of the cost of living going up and the increase coming up in energy bills, if it’s not an issue then there’s little to lose, money comes and goes.
 
Feek said:
Despite what I said above, I have to add an aside. Many years ago, I found myself suddenly out of work, it was totally unexpected and put me in a very awkward situation. I made a post on Facebook to say what had happened, I posted my bank details and asked for help. A couple of people messaged me directly to ask if it was a genuine request and a handful of friends sent me some money which got me out of that situation. It took a while but as far as I remember, I paid them all back (if you're reading this and I didn't pay you back, you know how to contact me).

So this can, and does happen. It's not always someone trying to make a fast buck out of their friends generosity.
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I've been on the other end of that. I gave them money. One of those "loans" with an infinite repayment period. Which gave me some amusement thinking about the similarities with a common form of corruption in ancient Rome. There were caps on some fees (lawyers, for example) and on de facto bribes framed as gifts. But not on loans. So the rules were circumvented with loans that were never repaid and were never meant to be repaid. Which probably still happens.

But I'd only do it with money I didn't need and with no expectation of getting it back. Sure, some people will pay it back like you did. But some won't and some won't be able to. It's best to mentally write it off ahead of time and save yourself any bother.

I've also been on the other end, as the borrower. I did pay it back, but over several years (as was agreed).
 
Nope, don't let them money. Especially if they have randomly contacted you out of nowhere and you haven't spoken for years.
 
lsg1r said:
I live by a very simple rule when it comes to money - do not lend to friends, they're the most likely to not pay you back and that's from personal experience. Hell I'd be very unlikely to lend money to relatives outside of direct next of kin.

Honestly, you haven't seen this guy in years so the idea of lending him money shouldn't have even entered your head
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The trick is to not let anyone actually know how much money you have, outside accountants, brokers and banks.

There is an issue when they simply ask you in the first place.
 
Must be a new thing going around because I've had similar myself. A bloke I was good mates with some 20 odd years ago and who I haven't seen, let alone spoken too, in all that time got in touch a few weeks ago asking how I was doing and if I could see my way to lending him £500. I simply reminded him of the reason why we haven't spoken in a couple of decades and that if he wants to discuss my lending him money then he's free to come and ask me face to face. He hasn't replied. Oh well, would be shame if he needed the money in order to survive - and that he didn't.
 
Aren't there websites for this sort of thing these days? Definite no from me as it's a slippery slope that will attract others.
 
Malevolence said:
Must be a new thing going around because I've had similar myself. A bloke I was good mates with some 20 odd years ago and who I haven't seen, let alone spoken too, in all that time got in touch a few weeks ago asking how I was doing and if I could see my way to lending him £500. I simply reminded him of the reason why we haven't spoken in a couple of decades and that if he wants to discuss my lending him money then he's free to come and ask me face to face. He hasn't replied. Oh well, would be shame if he needed the money in order to survive - and that he didn't.
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Seems to me like crack heads have suddenly heard about a new easy way to get some cash....
 
Don't do it. I stupidly lent £50 to a 'mate' who said they'd pay me back after a few days. Its not been 4 weeks and he's ghosted every message I've sent. Luckily I can swallow £50 but if I lent anyone £500 I'd be smashing down his door to get it back.

People are *****.
 
Whenever I have loaned friends/family money, I have given it in the sense of charity. I have never expected it back. If I get it back, great.

If I don’t, then no loss. I just carry on with my life. Yes it hurts a little as you somewhat lose trust in those people but it’s money, it comes and goes.

Having said that, when it does come to money, family and friends do not mix well with it.
 
Always assume you aren't going to get it back and assume this won't be the only time he asks for money. If you accept these terms and realise the reason he is asking you and not close friends and family is because he has exhausted those options. The cost of living crises has barely began to bite, things are going to get a lot worse.
 
Just say no. I'd say it's good to hear from him but asking for money out of the blue isn't appropriate.

I had a message from an old acquaintance asking for money. I replied as per above, turns out he was addicted to online gambling.
 
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