An old friend asking to borrow money

bainbridge said:
Just say no. I'd say it's good to hear from him but asking for money out of the blue isn't appropriate.

I had a message from an old acquaintance asking for money. I replied as per above, turns out he was addicted to online gambling.
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Thats why I never sent my "mate" the 25p.

Last I'd heard his Mrs had left him as they'd both been saving for 5 years for a house deposit. Time came to make a move and the accounts empty. Somehow he spaffed the lot up the wall in the bookies while keeping her entirely in the dark about it.
 
Never lend family nor friends money. Not only will you never see it again, you’ll become The Bad Guy for asking for it back.

Never do any work for family and friends, especially IT stuff as you’ll end up being expected to supply 24/7/365 IT support for your idiot relatives that can’t follow even the most basic security guidelines.
 
Too many people walk around lending money thinking they always have someone to bail them out and they never learn to be financially responsible. Saying no is the only way they are going to learn.

The one, so called friend I had for over 10 years. Our friendship ended when I had to raise a small claims court case against them for money they owned me from a holiday we went on.......never again.

Since then I have been very careful who I lend my money to, I worked dame hard to get money I have. Not going to throw it away at people who cant be bothered to sort themselves out.

Yes, we all fall on hard times, I did a few months ago when I lost my job but no one lent me money, offered to or did I ask and I still managed to pull through and get back on my feet.
 
malachi said:
Too many people walk around lending money thinking they always have someone to bail them out and they never learn to be financially responsible. Saying no is the only way they are going to learn.
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I’m being pedantic but do you mean borrowing money?
 
No, No, No, No, No, No, NO!

If I was the OP, I'd be extremely annoyed at that message. Actually, I am annoyed about it. There was a time, many, many years ago that I would have also felt a bit guilty. Not any more.

People fall on hard times as Feek mentioned above, and I'd be the first one to help anyone out. The thing is, and this is what is really annoying me, is that person has made ZERO effort over the years to keep in touch. The OP said himself he's not spoken to them in years, but now because he wants something, all of a sudden he's got in touch.

OP, I guarantee that person won't keep in touch and you'll never see that money again. It's appalling behaviour, what a total parasite. Scum! by all means they can ask other friends who perhaps they have kept in touch with, but to reach out to someone who I'd now class as a bit of a stranger crosses a red line in my book.

I've had similar experiences in the past (I'm sure you have guessed). Someone I used to work with only ever contacted me when he wanted something.

Hello Mr Oracle, hope you and family are ok
Oh hello Brian, yes fine thanks are you
Do you still fix laptops?
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Here we go!

anyway, after many years of this I finally replied one day with this

Yes family are fine thanks, and still fixing laptops and pcs :)
Great...goes on to explain the issue
Send me your email address and I'll get a quote over in a couple of days
Quote?
for the laptop work
Oh, I was hoping you'd look at it for free?
Free? No, my usual daily rate is £900ex VAT
£900!!! are you joking
30yrs experience and I'm very good at my job
Brain, tell you what, I'll look at your laptop if you can replace 4 patio slabs in our garden?

Never heard from him again LOL surprised, doesn't he want to know how my family are?

Then there was 8yrs of helping someone get their life back together who has now ghosted me. I ain't going into that one! or maybe the time I got my best friend at school out of serious trouble, got him a great job in IT at my place, then introduced him to his future wife who also hasn't spoken to me in the last 25+ years.

OP, my advice is either reply back saying you'll put a loan contract together at 8% plus solicitor costs for sorting out the contract or simply just block them and move on.

Whatever you do.....don't feel guilty! I know damn well if I ever fell on hard times or needed something, the only people who'd help me out (if they could) would be my parents.

People take the ****, don't let them.

:edit: It's really annoyed me that he's made the OP feel guilty
 
Probably not worth it. If it was someone I was best friends with them then I’d consider it but also wouldn’t expect the return of the money or the friendship.
 
I was always mithered by family to lend them money. My dad had a great tactic. He used to say if I didn't lend him more he wouldn't be able to pay back what I had already lent him. This (and other stuff) lead to me not speaking to him for 5 years. We got back in touch for a while and I realise he was still an a hole, so I haven't seen or spoke to him in over 11 years.

Another family member called me to borrow some money while my wife was in labour with our first child. This was for several thousand. I did a bank transfer before taking my wife to the hospital. All the promises around paying me back where there. There was a few payments, just under half the amount in total, the last one in 2015. My child is nearly 10 now.

I have no issue telling anyone who asks to lend money where to go these days. The polite answer is the bank and if they continue to push they get the less polite reply. As said previously it's best to make people think you don't have any money to lend.
 
G-MAN2004 said:
Never feel bad. He's only contacting you for the first time in years because he wants something out of you. If he didn't need the money, he wouldn't have thought of you at all.

Now if it was a close friend, then that's different.
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I was just going to post exactly this! The issue isn't lending the money, its why someone who couldn't be arsed to even stay in touch up until this point is even asking.
 
My mum and step dad made bad decisions with money and basically lost their home I grew up in because of releasing equity and failing to keep up the mortgage payments. (They never even brought it up so neither myself, brother or sister could have helped)

Fast forward a few years and they asked me to be a guarantor on a loan with Wonga I think it was. I'm not sure how much it was for as it never got that far but I was willing to do it but my girlfriend basically said no.

I didn't throw her under the bus totally but used her as an excuse to say we were getting a house together and the loan would have reduced my ability to get the mortgage.

They weren't too happy at the time but they at least understood the situation and my girlfriend probably saved me £1000's in the end!
 
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