Asking someone where they are from

danlightbulb said:
A quick google search gives two quite different definitions of racism:

The first is "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized."

The second is "the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another."


I have to say of all the racist people I have met, the first definition has been clearly the issue - i.e the effect of those people on their immediate surroundings, for example a minority group in a community.

I can't say I have ever known anyone racist to the second definition, which is hatred of a group on the belief they are genetically inferior.


Maybe the first one is more likely to be prevalent in working class communities, and the second one more likely to be prevalent in upper class or institutional communities?
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The first is often used as a convenient excuse for the second, neither are acceptable you should judge a person by merit not by colour or religion or ethnic background etc etc etc
 
Dis86 said:
Or its a practical activity to enable her to see the lady's name tag? You need to be less afraid of the world.
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Probably better to just not touch someone else without asking let alone someone who has probably been asked throughout their life "you have unsuspecting hair. May I touch it?"

I had a huge argument with an ex's father when he reached over and touched my hair
 
Junglist said:
Probably better to just not touch someone else without asking let alone someone who has probably been asked throughout their life "you have unsuspecting hair. May I touch it?"

I had a huge argument with an ex's father when he reached over and touched my hair
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But that's very different, there's no practical use to randomly reaching over and touching your hair. Moving a loose strand out the way of a name tag has a use.

Also just be thankful he didn't grab your todger!
 
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Dis86 said:
But that's very different, there's no practical use to randomly reaching over and touching your hair. Moving a loose strand out the way of a name tag has a use.

Also just be thankful he didn't grab your todger!
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It's not, not really. Hair is an extension of the body and (I'm sure all women do) but I'd suggest looking into the importance of hair to black women, it's a very sensitive subject.

I don't know many people who when interacting for someone for the first time would think it's acceptable to move their hair out of the way without asking.

I'd rather not attribute malice to what is clearly incompetence on the lady's part but it's things like this what a bit of sensitivity training would solve. It's a very easy cop out to say people shouldn't be so sensitive but when you deal things with you're entire life, it adds up and takes a toll. If you have to carry a weight every time someone says something to you that is a bit left of field it all adds up and eventually the weight is too much. Sure. Some people could develop a thicker skin but it shouldn't be on the ones being insulted to develop that thicker skin but on those who could do with learning a bit
 
It's good to see that all it takes to drop a monumemtal thread on the potential start of World War III down the OC charts is a debatably racist question being asked by a very elderly aristocratic lady ;)
 
Junglist said:
It's not, not really. Hair is an extension of the body and (I'm sure all women do) but I'd suggest looking into the importance of hair to black women, it's a very sensitive subject.

I don't know many people who when interacting for someone for the first time would think it's acceptable to move their hair out of the way without asking.

I'd rather not attribute malice to what is clearly incompetence on the lady's part but it's things like this what a bit of sensitivity training would solve. It's a very easy cop out to say people shouldn't be so sensitive but when you deal things with you're entire life, it adds up and takes a toll. If you have to carry a weight every time someone says something to you that is a bit left of field it all adds up and eventually the weight is too much. Sure. Some people could develop a thicker skin but it shouldn't be on the ones being insulted to develop that thicker skin but on those who could do with learning a bit
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Do you not think it's a bit strange to have an unusual attachment to what is ultimately an uncontrolled bodily growth? Why is hair a sensitive subject to black women? Because of something that they've never been affected by? Because of something that hasn't happened in centuries? Because of something that probably didn't even affect their ancestors?

This woman seemingly didn't think enough of her heritage to answer a very simple question on it yet she's attuned in to a cultural issue that results specifically from that heritage?

To be fair I also think the hair plug thread on here is mental.

This also wasn't some random public encounter, it's an engineered social meet and greet, a big part of which is knowing who you're chatting to. Having a name badge visible is a useful part of that. Again very different to your social situation where he had no need or reason to touch your hair.
 
Dis86 said:
Do you not think it's a bit strange to have an unusual attachment to what is ultimately an uncontrolled bodily growth? Why is hair a sensitive subject to black women? Because of something that they've never been affected by? Because of something that hasn't happened in centuries? Because of something that probably didn't even affect their ancestors?

This woman seemingly didn't think enough of her heritage to answer a very simple question on it yet she's attuned in to a cultural issue that results specifically from that heritage?

To be fair I also think the hair plug thread on here is mental.

This also wasn't some random public encounter, it's an engineered social meet and greet, a big part of which is knowing who you're chatting to. Having a name badge visible is a useful part of that. Again very different to your social situation where he had no need or reason to touch your hair.
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Sorry but this reply is mental. This is how it should be:

"Really? That's an interesting perspective and something I didn't have much personal experience of. I didn't know hair was that significant to black women. Care to say a little more about it or point me in an informative direction?"

Your response is just super defensive and he's right, hair has great cultural significance in the black community. And also yes, moving a stranger's hair out the way so you can read their badge is just damn rude more than anything. It's also slightly weird.
 
Lysander said:
Sorry but this reply is mental. This is how it should be:

"Really? That's an interesting perspective and something I didn't have much personal experience of. I didn't know hair was that significant to black women. Care to say a little more about it or point me in an informative direction?"

Your response is just super defensive and he's right, hair has great cultural significance in the black community. And also yes, moving a stranger's hair out the way so you can read their badge is just damn rude more than anything. It's also slightly weird.
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I am aware of the significance. I don't have to agree with the reasoning behind it. I find it preposterous.
 
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