Asking someone where they are from

Raz · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:06

Tony Edwards said:
FFS

Yes very good response. I've nothing against you, I've agreed with many of your posts before, however I think you could have done a bit better here.

I'll leave it at person 'A' being insensitive and insistent when there was no reason and person 'B' handling it like a baby / making a big issue out of it for "some" reason. No way she didn't understand what was being asked.

IMO of course.

Raz · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:11

Chuk_Chuk said:
No because I'm not sorting them out into sub group. Even if I was, this incident wouldn't make the list.

"What happened to you?"
"Got bananas thrown at me, then my neighbours stuck a burning cross outside my house. You?"
"***** asked me where I'm from"
"Man, these racists have no limits!"

(Not to be taken seriously!)

Minusorange · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:11

dowie said:
Surely it's pretty obvious that she wanted to know about her background/heritage not just that she's got a British passport?

How is it racist to want to know that?

No it's more like she thought she couldn't possibly be British from the way she looked so pushed the question to get the answer her racism had already decided was true

dowie · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:19

Minusorange said:
No it's more like she thought she couldn't possibly be British from the way she looked so pushed the question to get the answer her racism had already decided was true

That's ridiculous tbh. she's well aware that some British citizens are black.

Raz · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:20

Minusorange said:
No it's more like she thought she couldn't possibly be British from the way she looked so pushed the question to get the answer her racism had already decided was true

Or she thought that typically (but not always) non-white people are immigrants, usually first or second generation depending on their age and they don't tend to be secretive of their heritage.

Such a huge issue when either parry could have ended it on a nicer note.

-Where are you from?
-Britain.
-Coolio, nice meeting you.

Or

-Where are you from?
-Based in Hackney, but if you mean originally then i was born there (or wherever) so I am British but my family originally came from x.
- oh nice

Etc etc

Tony Edwards · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:39

Raz said:
-Where are you from?
-Based in Hackney, but if you mean originally then i was born there (or wherever) so I am British but my family originally came from x.
- oh nice

Etc etc

Why should anyone have to preempt questions?

I dont know any single one of my friends that would answer in that way. Unless they actually wasnt born in the UK.

Slam62 · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:45

On reflection they are both from the none real world

Minusorange · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:50

dowie said:
That's ridiculous tbh. she's well aware that some British citizens are black.

It's the logical reasoning for why she pressed the question despite being answered 3 times

If you can't see it, that's on you, although I imagine you know very well how obvious it is and are just being obtuse because your hole feels empty again

NVP · 3 Dec 2022 at 19:55

Minusorange said:
your hole feels empty again

First class!

Sasahara · 3 Dec 2022 at 20:02

Minusorange said:
No it's more like she thought she couldn't possibly be British from the way she looked so pushed the question to get the answer her racism had already decided was true

Having heard her talk, she sounds British, so it's a fair bet that wasn't the case at all.

CaptainRAVE · 3 Dec 2022 at 20:29

Ridiculous. I’ve been asked the same due to my surname and ‘look’ as has my wife whose mixed race, but it’s hardly offensive or racist. I take it as a matter of fact question and answer as such.

imtoooldforthis · 3 Dec 2022 at 20:34

CaptainRAVE said:
Ridiculous. I’ve been asked the same due to my surname and ‘look’ as has my wife whose mixed race, but it’s hardly offensive or racist. I take it as a matter of fact question and answer as such.

Did they ask you three times in a single conversation and ignore the answer you gave each time ?

NVP · 3 Dec 2022 at 20:35

Did they ask if you identified with any other cultures? :cry:

Jono8 · 3 Dec 2022 at 22:47

Sasahara said:
Having heard her talk, she sounds British, so it's a fair bet that wasn't the case at all.

Well, if she sounded British and said she was British, then it is even more peculiar to ask her where she really came from is it not?

NVP · 3 Dec 2022 at 22:50

Jono8 said:
Well, if she sounded British and said she was British, then it is even more peculiar to ask her where she really came from is it not?

Correct, so the more likely interpretation is that she was asking about heritage. We've made it guys!

Sasahara · 3 Dec 2022 at 22:53

Jono8 said:
Well, if she sounded British and said she was British, then it is even more peculiar to ask her where she really came from is it not?

Not when she is black in full African garb, with an African surname, running a charity call Sistah Space, set up specifically for women and girls of African and Caribbean heritage.

You know it might be kind of relevant to the event?

Jono8 · 3 Dec 2022 at 22:58

NVP said:
Correct, so the more likely interpretation is that she was asking about heritage. We've made it guys!

No, it makes using the wording "really come from" even worse.

NVP · 3 Dec 2022 at 23:09

Jono8 said:
No, it makes using the wording "really come from" even worse.

Those are two different points.

Jono8 said:
No,

You say no, ok so if it's not the most likely interpretation, and we both agree the literal interpretation in context of the conversation is peculiar, then what is the most likely interpretation?

I really thought we'd made it lol

dowie · 4 Dec 2022 at 01:34

Minusorange said:
It's the logical reasoning for why she pressed the question despite being answered 3 times

No, it isn't. We already know that it was about her heritage

Minusorange said:
If you can't see it, that's on you, although I imagine you know very well how obvious it is and are just being obtuse because your hole feels empty again

No, I think you're just playing dumb now because you can't see how to argue that it's racist; the other arguments were about the exact words used and obviously weak so you've come up with some other bizarre one that in fact this Lady doesn't seem to realise that black people can be British citizens. That's frankly ridiculous but I guess at least you're trying a new approach.

andybird123 · 4 Dec 2022 at 01:37

imtoooldforthis said:
Did they ask you three times in a single conversation and ignore the answer you gave each time ?

Only when obviously being asked about heritage I told them what company I worked for or gave my current address as an obviously confrontational answer.
I don't go around wearing a space suit just so I can tell people I come from the moon either.

I don't live in the UK, I get asked where I'm from on a daily basis. Its not an issue as I choose not to make it one. I don't answer politely to other white people but then decide to give an 83 year old Asian person a hard time over it.

I also get stared at, I wondered if it was a cultural thing as staring means different things in different countries but my wife assures me staring is a bit rude here too, it used to wind me up but I've come to realise that for a lot of people here I might be the only white person they've seen in a decade or more, perhaps ever and that it's human nature to be curious. Now I just wave and usually get a smile and a wave back.

I think with a lot of things in life you can go around seeking confrontation if you want, it ends up not actually doing you any good.

Looking at the transcript, I think both parties have been a bit awkward and could have handled it better, but only one of them appears to have done it with malice.