Asking someone where they are from

I had this exact same question from a hooker in dubai in my early 20s.

“where are you from”

Me “UK”

“Where are you really from”

Me “bitch born and bread in bradford, in the UK”

“Where do you parents come from”

Me “ oh my parents came from Pakistan, I was born in … “

Before I could finish my sentence

“That’s why I know you so cheap”

Lol
 
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Jono8 said:
Ok, then why wasn't she asked where her ancestors came from then?

She was asked where she was "really from"

She is from Britain.
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She kinda was with 'where do your people come from'. Unless you're intentionally being a douche you know what this means.

That comment wasn't about you btw!
 
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Scam said:
It's a total minefield. If someone has a thick accent then it shouldn't be offensive to ask where they're from. Whether it be the next town, up north, Ireland or eastern Europe. (I'm not saying the woman in question had a strong accent blah blah blah pleasedontcancelme)


Yeah see if it's a British accent then it's not offensive to ask where were you born. If it's a Caribbean accent (for example) then g'luck not getting cancelled :p It shouldn't be different. If someone has a strong accent I think you should be able to ask where it's come from. How you tactfully do that is another story...

Oh God, don't start with the Americans. They're absolutely obsessed with their heritage (or lack of). "Yeah I'm from San Francisco but I was born in Texas, I'm half-Irish on my mother's side and my Dad's grandmother was English. I loooooove London" :rolleyes: :p
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This is absolutely true, even with Americans whose ancestors have lived their for centuries.
 
Craterloads said:
I had this exact same question from a hooker in dubai in my early 20s.

“where are you from”

Me “UK”

“Where are you really from”

Me “bitch born and bread in bradford, in the UK”

“Where do you parents come from”

Me “ oh my parents came from Pakistan, I was born in … “

Before I could finish my sentence

“That’s why I know you so cheap”

Lol
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When I first met one of my mates I asked him where he was from (his parents are both Pakistani) and he just looked at me dumbfounded before replying in a pretty brusque manner 'Newcastle'.
Instantly disarmed when I replied 'thank **** for that, thought you were from Gateshead for a second!'
 
I didn't get the bit where the royal person said "Well, you must know where you're from, I spent time in France." Was she trying to say the other person was from France? Or she had seen black people in France who knew which countries they came from? Just weird.
 
Mental.

A poorly worded and ignorant question. Racism hardly? Undermines actual racism that goes on.

People have and continue to suffer discrimination and racism all over the world. I think blowing up silly situations such as this undermines that. Equally just as bad is the palace bowing to it. Part of me thinks, this lady has seen the palace as low hanging fruit and a walkway to a payout and 5 minutes of fame.
 
ajf said:
I have just read this as well, and came to the same conclusion.
i don’t think any malice was meant, but the question was poorly worded initially, which led to the ongoing exchange.
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Yes I deem it a bit of a taboo subject, like asking someone’s age.
Terminal_Boy said:
This is absolutely true, even with Americans whose ancestors have lived there for centuries.
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Americans is totally different, you can ask someone their “nationality” that is basically asking someone where they’re really from and they Dont find it rude at all
 
Junglist said:
"Hey, cool accent, where is it from?"

It's really not that difficult. Now if you make an assumption on their accent and get it wildly wrong, that may cause offence. I'm forever thinking Australians and those from New Zealand sound alike and I've had egg on my face a few times.
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Thats different because Australians and Kiwis hate each other! :p I would actually avoid guessing if I thought it was one or the other because you might get punched..

Craterloads said:
“where are you from”

Me “UK”

“Where are you really from”

Me “bitch born and bread in bradford, in the UK”
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Joking aside is it offensive for people to ask where you're from, full stop? And why wouldn't you take that to mean they're interested in your heritage and simply answer "I was born in Bradford but my parents are from Pakistan". If I had parents born abroad I'd be proud of it, I wouldnt try to hide it and make a conversation uncomfortable for no reason :confused: Clearly there's 'something' about you (speaking not about you but more generally to anyone who is asked this question) that makes people wonder if you have heritage from another country. Why does that have to be a negative thing?

This whole topic reminds me of the first 5mins of a film called Blue Bayou. It's a wonderful film, check it out.
 
Scam said:
Thats different because Australians and Kiwis hate each other! :p I would actually avoid guessing if I thought it was one or the other because you might get punched..


Joking aside is it offensive for people to ask where you're from, full stop? And why wouldn't you take that to mean they're interested in your heritage and simply answer "I was born in Bradford but my parents are from Pakistan". If I had parents born abroad I'd be proud of it, I wouldnt try to hide it and make a conversation uncomfortable for no reason :confused: Clearly there's 'something' about you (speaking not about you but more generally to anyone who is asked this question) that makes people wonder if you have heritage from another country. Why does that have to be a negative thing?

This whole topic reminds me of the first 5mins of a film called Blue Bayou. It's a wonderful film, check it out.
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If they want to ask about heritage ask clearly.

Don’t beat around the bush and say things like “where are you really from” as that makes the person feel like they don’t belong.

It isn’t that difficult.
 
Scam said:
Thats different because Australians and Kiwis hate each other! :p I would actually avoid guessing if I thought it was one or the other because you might get punched..


Joking aside is it offensive for people to ask where you're from, full stop? And why wouldn't you take that to mean they're interested in your heritage and simply answer "I was born in Bradford but my parents are from Pakistan". If I had parents born abroad I'd be proud of it, I wouldnt try to hide it and make a conversation uncomfortable for no reason :confused: Clearly there's 'something' about you (speaking not about you but more generally to anyone who is asked this question) that makes people wonder if you have heritage from another country. Why does that have to be a negative thing?

This whole topic reminds me of the first 5mins of a film called Blue Bayou. It's a wonderful film, check it out.
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It isn't a negative thing.

She asked where she was from, which is fine.

She then kept pushing and eventually asked "where are you really from"

That is the problem.

If you say you are British and from Britain, and then someone says "Where are you really from?", can you not see how that is insensitive?
 
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This whole thing can be summed up here:

Also... it really depends on
1) If you are actually interested in their history
2) If you are in it for devious means.
 
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Many people are proud of their heritage and would gladly tell you about it. My brother for example, born in South Africa and if anyone asked him where's he's from, he'd tell them Cape Town, SA, yet people are surprised because he isn't black. Some people are just ignorant about the world, doesn't make them bad people.

As for the incident in question, this women was clearly wearing traditional African/Caribbean clothing. The royal in question was curious, for the women to then be intentionally evasive over the question instead of just saying so, it's almost like she was baiting her.

Now could the royal have phrased the initial question better, sure. If they were expecting a hostile answer they probably would have but she's an 80+ year old royal who was just being friendly. Probably had stories about things she experienced in Africa many decades ago.
 
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Jono8 said:
If you say you are British and from Britain, and then someone says "Where are you really from?", can you not see how that is insensitive?
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Insensitive? Perhaps. Racist? Absolutely not.

I don't get offended easily but my general rule is to never take offence when offence was not intended. I find the idea of suggesting people are racist for any small misstep is quite horrible.

Scougar said:
Also... it really depends on
1) If you are actually interested in their history
2) If you are in it for devious means.
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Apparently not.

I tend to ask people where they are from if they are clearly not from the UK and I don't think anyone has ever been offended. Most of them are happy to talk about their family, where they are from, how often they get a chance to go back and if they still have family there etc. Some people will always find ways to be offended or pick at things. Luckily I haven't met any of those or maybe I am just so eloquent with my questions that no one could possible be offended. I doubt that though.
 
Problem for white people they have no context on the matter. Oh they just want to know your heritage, such a sweet question they are interested in you.

Reality is for non white people for most of their lives, from school onwards have been told they don’t belong. Been pestered, bullied and straight up faced racism for the colour of their skin or slightly different culture. We’ve all heard the phrase a dog born in a stable doesn’t make it a horse. Many if not most non white people will have heard that not as a phrase on the internet but in real life.

So give us a break if we take offence as adults to “where are you really from”
 
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fez said:
Insensitive? Perhaps. Racist? Absolutely not.

I don't get offended easily but my general rule is to never take offence when offence was not intended. I find the idea of suggesting people are racist for any small misstep is quite horrible.
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Well, we will never know if it was racist without reading the old woman's mind.

I can see how it can be perceived as racist though (through the eyes of the person being asked).
 
bigup said:
How far back do you go with heritage?
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That's obviously a whole can of worms. My point was if someone's parents weren't born in the UK (I was quoting @Craterloads specifically) , it could be unsurprising that people pick up on it, whether that's from an accent, clothes they're wearing, words they use and even *whispers* the way they look.
Craterloads said:
Don’t beat around the bush and say things like “where are you really from” as that makes the person feel like they don’t belong.
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I think my post was misinterpreted. I wasn't condoning that question and would never ask it.
Jono8 said:
If you say you are British and from Britain, and then someone says "Where are you really from?", can you not see how that is insensitive?
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Yes, as above I wasn't condoning that.
Craterloads said:
(snip) So give us a break if we take offence as adults to “where are you really from”
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Totally valid points. But on the flipside you can't assume white people are racist because they're asking. Better to ask and have a bit more context if they're interested, rather than not at all. I also think you'd find most racists don't actually care about someone's background and heritage.. they'll be racist towards them regardless of the family history!
 
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